Brand New Chasity users and need advice

We were pretty much the same way even after we started with chastity. I guess the simple answer is, she eventually stopped taking the cage off. I had a tough time with that at first and she was constantly reminding me who has the key. After a while, the reality of the situation set it and now, she gets my full attention without any expectations of me getting off. I do still get to orgasm but not everytime and its when she wants to, not me. So, take it slow and see where it goes.

 

You're welcome. It depends on her mood I guess. Most of the time I'm locked up during lovemaking. About once a week or two, she takes the cage off for teasing but no orgasm. Then the cage goes back on which is really, really tough for me. Every once in a while, the cage comes off and we make love. Sometimes after that she leaves me unlocked for a bit so I can have a break from the cage.

 

I would say that before we were even married my wife has always made it clear that sex is only about HER pleasure. Before we got into any lifestyle changes or kinks it was always when she wanted, how she wanted, etc. And if she didn't orgasm it was always made clear that it was my fault (which it was) and implied that I wouldn't be fortunate enough to have sex with her again if I couldn't bring her orgasms. I happen to be rather small down there, so that meant buying vibrators to use while we had sex and eventually more and more toys and dildos that eventually took my place.

A lot has happened in between, but now many years later I am locked in chastity when she demands it, and even when I'm not locked in chastity I am rarely (never?) allowed to put my penis inside her. I pleasure her how she wants (tongue, fingers, dildo), when she wants, for as long as she wants, and if I'm in chastity I remain so, and if I'm not in chastity she alone determines whether I can masturbate with her or on her or in her presence or not at all.

 

It was my idea. She was very apprehensive at first but quickly realized the benefits (for both of us).

 

My wife and I started very similarly to you. At first I needed an orgasim every time as well but eventually she started just not taking the cage off. Then it was if I wanted out, she needed head every morning and so on till we got to the point we are now. I'm let out probably once a week on average but have gone as long as 3, with her having at least one usually multiple orgasims by me everyday however she wants them to happen. My advice would be to get a cage thats comfortable and make it clear you're in charge. You may have to work slowly on being in charge, as in, if my wife had started out busting my balls 2-3 times a day when we first started we probably would have not continued.

 

On the contrary, I love it! I have always been sexually submissive, and I suspect in some way that attracted me to my wife, though she never realized she was naturally dominant until much later. We're a perfect match in that sense. I wouldn't say that there is no sexual activity at all... She teases me a lot, both verbally (SPH and other humiliation, sharing fantasies, etc.) and physically (grabbing and rubbing my caged dick). And, while she does keep me locked for long periods (I'm on my 28th day being continuously locked) she will eventually let me out to masturbate for her. And, as I alluded to earlier, I find it incredibly erotic and arousing to please her in any way I can and to watch her being satisfied by her big black lover (her dildo).

I also need to point out that she decided to deny me PIV sex only after I shared with her that it was something I fantasized about. While she does not find sex with my small penis very physically satisfying and has never once had an orgasm from just my penis -- she has with my penis and a vibrator, though she can just easily cum with the vibrator and no penis, and she has with just a large dildo -- she always had, I think, an emotional desire to connect that way. And so she would sometimes, not often, initiate sex and say that she wanted me inside her. But it was a lot of pressure for me to perform, and after years of kinky lifestyle and fantasy I found it almost impossible to maintain an erection and eventually cum unless she constantly humiliated me. Now it's just that we've removed that pressure from both of us.

 

"Requires?" You might consider exerting some feminine authority and getting him fired up but not permitting the final stage. Then do it again the next day and draw it out before permitting the final stage, showing him how intense it can be. Then lengthen the periods. Guys who build up the duration between orgasms (and don't secretly masturbate) will all tell you the orgasms when finally permitted are tremendous, the best they've had in years. Tell him, and then show him, he'll like it even better this way.

 

I used to have a similar problem. I would jack off to much and become desensitized to regular sex and sometimes not really even wanting it when my wife was ready. I never had ED problems but easily could have. Chastity definetly fixed that for me and sex is better for her and me than it has been for the last few years, even with girlfriends before her.

We started with a cb6000 as well. The fit was fine but it pinched a lot and wasn't comfortable enough to wear for more than a few days. We moved on to a knock off holy trainer mini and it's much more comfortable for me. Everybody's different tho and we used the cb6000 off and on for months to get started.

Good luck on your journey. If he commits to it I'm sure it'll be worth it to both of you!

 

I suggest to you that the causality may be the opposite of what state. He doesn't "love porn and masturbate often" "due to ED when [you're] together." I submit he has ED when you're together because he masturbates too much. See @DamItDaniel's comment below.

On a separate matter, I'm not a believer in CB or HT plastic cages -- they're stink traps and not great for skin. Take a look at the (much cheaper) Chinese metal cages on aliexpress (search "prison bird chastity"). I use the A226 and the A273 designs -- tight, effective, easy to keep clean.

 

Funny you mention that. I just ordered an a273. Should be here Tuesday. Excited to try it out. Did not see the a226 or may have gone with it. I don't like recommending something I haven't used myself or I would have suggeated the a273.

 

I agree with this as well... at least in part. I know in my case that I definitely masturbate a lot when I'm not in chastity. Too much, for sure. And it's definitely one of the main reasons my wife/KH would give for why she locks me up. And there is no question that has... er, had... an impact on our PIV sex and my ability to perform.

However, I've found that I'm genuinely less interested in PIV sex, and my main source of sexual stimulation is definitely submission and specifically humiliation. I don't get turned on by regular porn, and I don't masturbate to it when I can. I masturbate mainly to humiliation, SPH, and cuckold porn; thoughts and fantasies of being rejected, teased, denied; and, when my wife allows it, to her humiliating me and/or my being allowed to wank while I degrade myself in front of her (kissing her feet) or behind her such as it is (rimming her ass). And, sure enough, whenever I had issues staying hard during PIV sex my little guy hardened right up if she said just a few words about not feeling anything or how much better her dildo is.

 

I agree with this also! Our first foray into chastity was a CB-6000s that I purchased and introduced her to, and she took to it quite quickly. I must say I really think it's awesome that you (@Love seeing him locked) are initiating! Some men are not as lucky as I to have a wife or partner that was so open to the idea. Anyway, the CB-6000s, even though the 's' stands for 'small', was still quite a bit too large for me to wear comfortably and keep clean. Even if it had fit perfectly the plastic walls and closed design make it near impossible to keep clean for longer wear. I don't have experience with the Chinese cages, but I have heard good things. I've been really happy with the two custom Mature Metal devices I own, and would highly recommend something of that ilk for any couple who are serious about regular and longer term chastity.