…A slave offers service to his Mistress. In the beginning it’s just exciting to do that and tease and denial is part of the excitement, ending, hopefully in an orgasm. But over time, a slave seeks to do things for his Mistress because he’s drawn to her and just wishes to be used by her. It all starts with tease and denial—the excitement of being teased but then denied, for awhile, receiving an orgasm in the end. In the beginning there is no Mistress and no slave. It’s a natural kind of play that raises the man’s excitement to fever pitch before the culmination of an orgasm. But as the teases grow longer and the carrot of an orgasm foregone, the game transforms into a lifestyle-play that favors the woman—who often becomes the Mistress. The Mistress foregoes his orgasm for longer and longer periods because without orgasm, independence from the woman is not regained and he offers greater obedience and affection and service. The slave’s desire to provide his Mistress with service is a natural consequence of tease and denial—seeking to ingratiate himself with his Mistress to achieve the favor of orgasm. But in time, the slave’s expectation of a “reward,” –orgasm, diminishes because he knows it conflicts with his Mistress’ desires. …And tease and denial can transform into chastity—usually because chastity is scary and challenging and perpetuates the excitement of tease and denial—potentially long-term. What’s in it for the woman is much slave service and obedience that seems to naturally accompany longer term denial. …And if chastity continues; if the Mistress holds fast to her objectives of obedience and service, ???? As a slave’s focus on his Mistress increases, with her continued teasing and playfulness and expressions of appreciation, there is no telling how long chastity can be maintained. There is a natural fear of the chastised male expressing anger and resentment over his condition and demanding release. In practice, teasing, together with expressions of love and appreciation, will hold these at bay as the man is behaviorally conditioned to accept chastity, substituting, as odd as it sounds, her loving expressions and sexual service to her for his ejaculations. Chasteness is unnerving but remains stimulating as it becomes the norm rather than just an aspect of bondage or discipline play. It loses the self-imagined stigma of an imposition—most of the time. There is a constant disbelief that the imposition of chastity will continue, even as the time lengthens between orgasms. There is an erroneous expectation that the Mistress will relent out of pity, even though the Mistress may increasingly enjoy the impact chastity makes on her slave’s behavior. Orgasms become plentiful for the Mistress, but for the slave—a privilege—that his Mistress seldom allows, even though the slave may imagine he retains some control over the situation. And ejaculation becomes a conundrum for the slave because he desires it so much, but at the same time wishes to please his Mistress and not engage in an undesired behavior. All this leads to the question of long-term denial: the nearly constant use of a chastity device and elimination or near-elimination of orgasms for a man. Well, it’s been done—a month, 6 months, a year, and longer! This whole process is a journey that sometimes leads here—a journey that depends entirely on the psychodynamics of the relationship, of the immersion and involvement of the slave in/with his Mistress and the Mistress’ love of her man as her slave, not to mention the sort of sexual fulfillment the Mistress desires.
...When did it start? Just after elementary school, seeing girls dress in tights waiting for a school bus on a cold winter day and wishing I could wear tights? Then, also at 12 or 13, there was autoerotic activity with my hands tightly pinning the sheets against my hips, imagining the sheets were a tight skirt or dress, and rummaging through boxes of give-away clothes for women's clothes (under & outer)...that would fit, and playing dress-up, very discreetly, and playing with rope and play handcuffs. Sure I liked to get off, but as much, was the thrill of limitation, and as I began appreciating the eroticism of women, the three elements--women and their clothing and limitation (bondage at first) all became mixed together. Chastity? Whew, that was something else... discovered it as a wild thought in my mid 20s. Do you remember the magazine "Slave Piercing" from Centurians, which dates from the 1970s. The idea of a chastity device anchored by a rod through a piercing on the shaft of the penis was mindblowing. It took 25 years for me to get a frenum piercing. But I finally did and you might say it changed my life. Of course it also took 25 years to encounter a woman with suitable desires. It's like fixing something in the kitchen. You start out with ingredients at hand, ...our experiences, then add other things we encounter that appeal, mix it up and sometimes we get lucky and come out with the most surprising and delicious things. (Other times we just muddle through and well ...the outcome could be better.)