I feel so happy atm. We've not made the lifestyle work properly before. M's not really into it. Recently I asked if we could try again and promised she would not feel like she was in a role play. I'm wearing my cb every waking hour removing it when I sleep. M never mentions my device but she's fully aware I'm wearing it. I almost never mention it because I know she doesn't want to talk about it. We cuddle a lot, I rub her feet, back and shoulders regularly and in my mind it feels like i'm being her submissive but I don't think so in hers. I just crave pleasing her. I dream about her dominating me more in the traditional sense but I don't think it will happen. She knows how I feel so I live in hope but if not will just enjoy making her happy.
ooh lil b, thats sounds so lovely, you sounds very nice and subbie, and im sure that your Mistress will start to love it, after a bit.
sounds like my situation, but she is starting to see the advantages of taking charge, and is beginning to "ask" me to do things that she didn't used to..
Caged wolf Tell me what She is asking you to do now? What stage are you both at now? Do you think She will be more dominant in the future? Very interested!
Mistress Deborah, I'll try to explain, but it's been little things. We agreeed that a specific key left on the bathroom counter meant she had plans for me that evening, she has used that VERY effectively in the last few weeks. Making comments that "things" need to be done, then leaving the room or going back to what she was doing, IE, "The dryer is done", then going back to her book. I've done most of the laundry for the last two weeks, have cleaned the kitchen and put away dishes for about the same. I was given "permission" to buy a pair of leapard print lounge shorts that go well with a Silk robe she bought me. This is my evening wear once I'm in the house for the night. She has told me that there are certain underwear that she wants to see me wear. She has told me on several occasions that an item of wear (clothing or ring/restraint) was unacceptable, so they are gone. It's not huge changes, just subtle shifts in conversation and action. She recently hurt her back, and part of the problem was the way she was sitting on the couch. "My" overstuffed chair sits in the prominent position in the living room, but I realized that it should no longer be mine, and gave it freely to her, both for her back and the position of authority. I don't know what stage we are at, didn't realize there were specific stages. I am willing to give up total control, and she was hesitant, but is taking more all the time. I think she will assume the proper position in the household, but in her own time adn way. It is a long road for her due to her upbringing, but in a way I also think that helps her. If there is anything specific I didn not answer, or didn't answer cleary, please readdress it. Also any input you have would be of great intrest to me, and I believe to her as well. VR, Caged Wolf
Hi there, I think that the signs are good ! She seems to be warming towards her role of the dominant woman. I too took a long time to ease into being a Mistress. I think that a lot of women see it as threatening, somehow dirty and that you will look at them in a different light(bad way). As women we are conditioned from a young age to keep our sex lives "clean" - It's only dirty girls that suck cock or sleep with lots of boys/men. When I met slave we started as vanilla as you like but as time went on slave talked about all the kinky stuff he liked and I nearly ran a mile lol ! We talked some more and I tried the occasional thing, then I discovered I did like those things. Deep down I did like these things but as I mentioned earlier I didn't want to appear slutty ! I think the key is talking LOTS. Take your time to make her feel secure and free to express herself sexually. If she isn't quite hitting the mark for you, NEVER make her feel that she hasn't hit the spot, just guide her slowly - possibly with actions more than words. Make sure that you let her know how grateful you are that she is guiding you on your chastity journey. Let her know that she is the sexiest woman in the world - build her up at EVERY opportunity. She will rise to meet you I am sure! Don't forget the occasional beautiful bouquet of flowers/gifts................ you know what I mean Hope this has been helpful?
The key there is you will enjoy making her happy. Please never lose that..it sounds like you have a great wife and are trying to build a wonderful relationship..Not knowing the intangibles I can only reply to what you reveal. Perhaps she is not dominant...that is ok...for you are treating her like your Queen. Spoil her, love her, cherish her..for you submissive side desires to give to her. She may grow into the role, she may just be able to supply bits at times. To often we come into a fantasy land on line and think life is 24/7 Ds all the time. For those that choose to go there it is not always easy..it takes work on both the individuals..hard work. Honestly many do not live it 24/7...in there hearts they may, but real life situations at times make that impossible. So enjoy the life you have with the lady you cherish. Learn more about yourself here by sharing with other subs and learning from the precious dominant Woman who graciously frequent this forum. Listen, learn, communicate...but by all means continue to pour out your service of love...it will be rewarded....you cannot lose.
thank you both for the thoughts and advise... you've hit on what I'm trying to d, be the best I can and let her be what she is comfortable with. She IS the center of my world, and I try every day to make sure she knows that. I understand wholeheartedly that it's very hard to live Ds 24/7 due to life, but at the same time the incremental submissions and empowerment we go through strenghten our relationship and our understanding of each other, nd more importantly, make us stronger in who we really are.
/splint_n_strap not sure if you were talking about my situation there or caged wolf but I agree. M is naturally dominant just not in a sexual way or hopefully not yet anyway. She controls our finances, earns more money, insists I do a lot around the house, and loves being pampered. It's early days but she has shown me some signs she may grow into it. I've just gone 11 days without orgasm. The other night she gently started brushing her hand against me in bed (as usual I had removed it to sleep), she knew I was aroused beyond belief and gently teased me for a few minutes. She then sternly told me to go down on her. She came once then manouvered herself so I would be licking her ass. After a few minutes she called me up. When I entered her she said 'you like that don't you. Within a minute I couldn't contain myself and she told me to thank her while I was having my orgasm. It was amazing. She is amazing. Surely the signs are good?
The signs are excellent - I feel that things can only get better for you both. I bet you're excited to see what the future brings... Of course, let us know !!!
Oops phone issue there sorry. I'm very excited but the hardest thing for me to deal with is that M never talks about it. The way I deal with it in my mind is to pretend she won't allow me to discuss it. I must suffer in silence. I just wish she'd at least comment every so often on the fact i'm locked for her but I know it's not for my pleasure it's for hers. It's requiring a lot of patience and discipline but surely worth it in the end. Ofcourse i'll post on future developments. Thnx
sorry fot the temporary threadjack... sounds like you're doing good. I know that my SHMBO is still learning how to be in control, and exploring. I assume yours is doing the same. Best of luck!