My wife and I have played many fun chastity games for a number of years. If I'm locked up for a week without any unlocking, my kinky fantasies tend to get more intense. I once read some Elise Sutton posts about her husband's birthdays, where SHE would be indulged by him, and he would be put through multiple kinky ordeals, and this basic idea has led to many fantasies of mine. I think we have a fairly common dynamic, that she wants to play with my penis pretty often, and she's generally more lenient (vs strict) about enforcing any consequences or agreements, than I fantasize about. I fantasize these types of things about my birthday: > I'd be kept continuously locked more strictly than usual the 7-14 days before. > She'd tease me leading up to my birthday, that I definately won't be coming on my birthday, and if she gets super satisfied and my bedroom skills keep improving, it could be a long while after. > I'd have some really hard, sweaty, menial chore on my birthday, probably dressed in an embarrassing way. > She would be purposely indulged to her hearts content, with massages, her favorite restaurant. > I'd help her shop for some birthday present meant for her. I like how it's all "upside down" with the birthday splurges focussed on her, and emphasizing the depth of my submissive predicament,
Well, I'd say that these fantasies don't have to be based on deep submission. After all, when a man enjoys this kind of play, he can feel rewarded by things other men would consider punishments. When you find joy in making your partner happy, or when being denied an orgasm satisfies your fetish, the result is something you enjoy. You're not submitting. Your partner is making you happy by allowing you to ignore stereotypes and indulge your own desires. The fact that those desires include making her happy is simply an added bonus. I'm not trying to tell you you're doing something wrong. I do know the joy of being just an orgasm donor on my birthday myself. But I do believe that we shouldn't be fooling ourselves. When a man has a chastity fetish, being denied on his birthday is more rewarding than punishing.
What about letting her lock you in a very secure (pierced) chastity belt on your birthday and being allowed to maybe open the gift next year?
My Wife denied me this year on my birthday after totally making me think I was going to have an orgasm. It was one of the hottest things she has ever done, especially as she let me give her an incredible orgasm instead. I will never ever forget how I felt at the moment I realised I wasn't getting any relief and she was going to use me instead.
Some fun ideas! @ Sandman, Hmmm I wasn't saying that my fantasy is a huge gift to her. But to me, submitting to chastity, or denial, or spankings, or chores she decides, or to bondage, "is submitting". (not sure why you feel it's not submitting). I was saying that what's hot to me is to feel feelings like I am submitting and that the birthday is "upside down" vs. the norm. And that she would get the presents. So yes, denial is of course my present. I like my present