Very green first timer

Well here goes. I am now locked up, having been in blissful ignorance of this lifestyle until very recently. So why the sudden change? To put it bluntly, I have not been able to 'perform' for quite a while now, and I have come to the conclusion that this is due to performance anxiety. Quite a long time ago I had mentioned to my wife that I felt I needed 'tormenting' in some way, but that is as far as it went. She didn't know what to do, and I'm not sure what I wanted/needed either.
Recently my research about performance anxiety led me to an article that had been written by Sarah Jameson which led to what for me was a moment of revelation.
Reading Sarah's article ticked so many boxes for me that I summoned up the courage to call my wife over, and we read the article together. We discussed how it related to us, and that it was worth pursuing this avenue if only to see if removing the responsibilty of performance did anything for my flagging libido…

Wednesday 24th November.
Having bit the bullet, and ordering a steel device off Ebay, it had sat there unopened for 24 hours, neither of us wishing to talk about it. Perhaps it's because we did not know what to say. Eventually I decided to broach the subject, and ask my wife if she would like to see the device. She smiled and said 'yes', so I let her open the parcel and waited for her reaction. I think it would be fair to say that it was a mixture of surprise and shock! She didn’t understand how it fitted at first, and when I explained she winced like it was some kind of torture device. Hmmm come to think of it, that’s exactly what it is! Anyway, she watched with great interest as I struggled to slip my bits through the back ring, and worried that I was hurting myself. I assured her that it was not painful but she looked unconvinced. To my total amazement as soon as I had the ring fitted, she was feeding the cage over to get the job finished! A bit of a struggle later the cage was on and she fed the padlock through and clicked it shut. I’ve got to say I was totally amazed by this, but then again she does things from time to time that amaze me. Now imprisoned, we examined it, and she was curious and concerned that it must be painful or cutting the blood off. I had a walk around, moved about, and reported that it was actually quite comfortable, if a little tight. That was probably caused by an attempted erection causing everything to tighten up. Now all this was out in the open, and because the device seemed comfortable, I decided to try going to bed in it straight away. Not the best idea from a safety standpoint, but as it turned out this was the best thing I could ever have done…
Once in bed and my options now limited I offered the services of my tongue, pointing out that we had both better get used to that for the next week or so. She was up for that, so I went down and did my best to ensure that at least she would go to sleep fulfilled. What happened next blew my mind, as while I diligently pleasured my wife, my mind was awash with feelings of passion, love, lust, and helplessness of my situation. I kept going for quite a while until my wife had had enough. I went to the bathroom and I was literally quite dizzy at the events of the previous hour.
Back in bed, I cuddled up to her and we had a little chat about what had just happened, and my wife said that she didn’t know what her part was in all this is. I said not to worry, lets let this one unfold and we would review it at the end of the trial period. It just doesn’t seem right to be negotiating or calling the shots whilst your cock is encased in steel! I asked her if she was happy so far, and she told me that she had a big smile on her face! Cuddles over, I turned my back to her to go to sleep and she asked why I had turned round. Well, being mindful of the sharp edges on the padlock, I told her that I didn’t want anything to stick in her. “Not much chance of that now”, she replied. Ouch! And she says she doesn’t understand her part in all this! Delicious torment that ensured I then spent a most uncomfortable night tossing and turning while she slipped into a sound sleep.

Thursday 25th November.
After the excitement of the night before I got up at 4:30, having had little or no sleep then went to work. It was all I could do to keep my mind on my job as I recollected the events of the previous night. I still can’t believe how open to the whole thing she is, despite her saying that she didn’t understand what it is all about, or what her part in all this is. It is partly for this reason that I have started compiling this blog, so that after the first trial run we can sit and discuss what went right, what wasn’t so good, and where to go next. In the afternoon I sent her a text saying that I felt good enough to go out in the evening with our social circle and that we could eat out first. I ended the text by asking if she had stopped smiling yet. The reply came fast. Yes to going out, and also that she hadn’t stopped smiling all day! Bless her. I hope that we can make this work!
When I arrived home from work, I got ready for going back out with her, and asked if it was ok for me to remove the device for the purposes of going out. I explained that although I had a key I would ask her as it was not my decision whilst locked. She agreed, and also pointed out that I needed to be out for a function that we would be attending on Saturday night. From that I take it she wants me to remain locked in between.


Friday, 26th November.
Due to having almost no sleep the day before, and aided by the alcohol of last night I managed to get to sleep pretty quickly. My alarm clock going off at 4:30 meant that I wasn’t asleep for too long but it was nice to get some sleep all the same. As I got dressed for work, I picked up the device that I had left at the side of her bed and refitted it. Apart from being tired through the day, wearing the device presented me with no problems, and in fact on some occasions I couldn’t even tell that I was wearing it. Other occasions I could lol. In the afternoon I received a text message from my wife / KH saying that she wouldn’t be in when I arrived home. She would be attending a Christmas party for my Grandson’s activity group.
When I arrived home sure enough she wasn’t there, so I entertained myself by surfing the net as she would need me to pick her up later. During the evening I began to notice a dull ache in my balls, not painful, but enough to distract me from what I was doing. I got up to have a little walk around to let things ‘settle’. While I was doing this I noticed the two keys that I had given her had been left out. Now I feel I am beginning to get to the stage where I want to be out, so I sent my wife a jokey text saying that I had found the keys so it looked like it was playtime for me! Within a few minutes I got one back telling me to leave those keys alone! Got to say it made me smile, but I’m going to have to have a word about leaving temptation in my way as things begin to get difficult!
It wasn’t long after that when I got the call to go pick her up, so off I went to collect her. Nothing was said after that. We got back home, had about an hour of chit chat and catching up before we retired. By then I was so tired that I had decided I wouldn’t offer my services, but would not refuse if she was in the mood. As it turned out she wanted to watch TV in bed, so I cuddled up to her for a while. I have got to say that as I ran my hands over her body and explored her shapely form I became really aroused and hoped that she would initiate something. It was not to be though, so I turned over and fell asleep quickly.

 

Hi northoftheriver
Thank you for the kind and encouraging words. Strangely enough I was thinking along very similar lines to what you suggest to earn a release. After this first trial is up we will re-evaluate the matter and throw your suggestion into the pot. I also take on board what you say about custom made devices, and if this is to become an ongoing feature of our relationship I will invest in something along those lines at a later date.

 

Saturday, 27th November.
Woke at 4am, went to the bathroom, then returned to bed. It was no good though. By 6:30 I gave up on the idea of getting any more sleep so got up and got dressed. Went outside for a smoke and was surprised to see the first snow fall of the Winter. It’s quite unusual to see snow before Christmas where I live. The weather people had been saying for some time that this winter looks like being another severe one. I hope they are wrong though. After a couple of days the novelty value wears off with me.
On Thursday my wife / KH said that I could be out of my device for this evening which would be nice as we were going to a birthday celebration, and would have quite a few drinks. The pragmatism of removing the device was welcome as I didn’t want to spend half the night sat down in the mens room. I would leave the A-ring on though if practical  as refitting it at the end of the night would prove difficult the way I am feeling at the moment.

Spoke with my wife about leaving the keys on display and she took them away. I then got on with doing some long overdue DIY (not that kind of DIY!) Later she left me alone while she took the Grandson out to entertain him. While she was out I checked a pile of padlock keys that I’d seen upstairs, as she had found on Wednesday that two of the keys there would open the padlock on my device. They had gone too. Good. I need the temptation out of the way before the going gets tough.

When she returned home I told her that I had been checking the keys upstairs and she smiled at me and told me that I wouldn’t find them.  Later while getting ready to go out to the function she came to me with the keys and removed the cage. I declined to remove the A-ring, saying that I would rather leave this on than go through the process of squeezing my bits through later. With that she opened her bathrobe and said “Hey, look what your missing!” The important thing to know here is that she NEVER speaks to me like that. It caused quite a reaction in my now unfettered manhood!

The Birthday function was a small but convivial affair, and I was seated across from my wife. She was sat between two ladies 8 and 10 years her junior. Given the choice of the three I wouldn’t hesitate in choosing the girl I married. She remains a good looking lady to this day. A Goddess in fact. So from here on I shall refer to her as such. For the most part of the function I was just wishing that we were at home so that I could pleasure her and demonstrate my love for her.

When we eventually returned home, we prepared for bed, and as I went to the bathroom she called me to be quick as I was going back into prison! I enjoyed my last piss standing up, then returned and she duly locked me back up. This really revved me up and I couldn’t wait to take her to ecstasy, but no sooner had she got in bed that she began itching terribly. Food intolerance from something she had eaten whilst we were out. Damnit.

Slept until 2am then got up as I didn’t want to disturb her. Can’t understand why I can’t sleep as the device is causing me no discomfort. Here’s hoping that I am eventually so tired that I will be able to get a proper night’s sleep. Gives me time to catch up on this blog though.

 

Sunday 28th November
What was going to be a quiet day for us changed as we had family visitors (oldest son and youngest Grandson). Barely minutes after they had they gone our youngest son called to invite us out for supper, an offer that we gladly accepted. By the time we got home it was bedtime and the hope of a decent sleep as I needed to rise at 04:30.

Monday 29th November
04:24. Start of day 5 in lockup, which began with a quite impressive attempt at an erection. When I looked down there I couldn’t help but picture a Brussels sprout stalk with two sprouts attached! The nice thing is that there was no pain at all, despite what looked like a battle going on between my penis and testicles over which had the greater strength. I am very comfortable in the device now, and today have gone for quite long periods without realising that I even had it on. Spent a lot of time thinking about my Goddess while I was at work, and couldn’t resist finding an excuse to text her, something that I don’t normally do. My emergency key is now in a sealed envelope but I really don’t feel any urge to remove the device.

When we went to bed, I cuddled up to my Goddess, and I was literally shaking with excitement. Luckily I had an outlet for this because I was allowed to deliver oral relief to my Goddess. After I had finished I was still shaking, but felt a bit better having done as much as I could under the circumstances.

 

Tuesday 30th November

Woke to the alarm clock this morning, having only needed to get up once during the night. I am so glad that I am able to get some sleep as it becomes so terribly difficult to function without it. I have been thinking about ideas for the next trial, and came up with the idea that the clock doesn’t start until my Goddess has had x orgasms. In this way I will be motivated to please her as soon as I begin my next lockup.
My workday passed very slowly today and I spent a lot of my time thinking of my Goddess. By the time I got home I was so tired all I could do was to spend a little time with her before I had to go to bed. I was so tired that I must have been asleep within five minutes of getting into bed.


Wednesday 1st December

Another month began with me marking the start of my seventh day in lockup. It also began in the very early hours with another futile erection and me cuddling my Goddess in the hope that it would take my mind off it and go away. It didn’t of course, so I got up for a while, had a drink and went out to examine the fresh fall of snow that we have had.
Once again, work dragged along as all I wanted to do was be with my Goddess. It snowed pretty much all day and reports came in that lots of people were getting stuck and that trains, planes, buses and taxis had all ground to a halt. My Goddess sent me a text asking if there were any beds at work as it looked like I might not be able to make it home. As it turned out by the time I left work the roads weren’t that bad, and the traffic was pretty light. I think a lot of people had got the message and avoided using the roads.
Once again when I got home it was all I could do to stay awake, and retired before my Goddess . Twelve hour shifts aren’t fun. Combined with travel they so easily become bed and work.


Thursday 2nd December

Last early shift – possibly for the year as I will probably be covering nights for the run up to Christmas. That would fill most people with dread, but I consider myself very much a night person. I have too little energy when I am on the early shift. I also sleep better when I am on nights, so it will be nice to get today’s shift out of the way.
I cuddled up to my Goddess before I got up, running my hands over her body. As I reached the top of her legs there seemed to be a distinct lack of hair where there usually is some. I didn’t explore further as I didn’t want to disturb her at such an ungodly hour (03:30), but instead got up and decided to catch up on some work that I needed to get done for today. All my thoughts though were on what I might find later. Usually my Goddess likes to be neatly trimmed down there, but during our last oral session she commented that I needed a shave. My flippant reply was that so did she, so it looks like she took me at my word and decided to do something about that. Oral with a lady is so much more enjoyable when there is nothing in the way, and for me is so much sexier than au naturelle . It is as naked as naked can be.
As bad luck would have it I was so tired come the end of the day that I fell asleep before I could find out just what had happened down there.


Friday 3rd December

At the moment life seems to revolve around dealing with all the snow that we have had. We have a number of DIY jobs to complete, as well as all the preparations for Christmas. The good news is that I won’t be on the early starts perhaps until the New Year, so the tiredness that has been plaguing me should be no more. The strange thing was that during the day the device caused me no torment whatsoever, and I was wondering whether I had become so used to it that it was becoming ineffectual.
We had two of our Grandchildren staying with us, so after they were settled, we went to bed. I thought my Goddess wanted to watch a film on TV, but she took my hand and placed it down between her legs for me to explore. With that, I took the initiative and went down to please her. There was still some hair there but it was so much better for me to probe, lick and flick with my tongue. My Goddess seemed to appreciate my efforts too, and I loved it when she started writhing due to the attention my tongue was giving her. My excitement rose to such a level that I was desperate to fuck her, but the tug of war that was going on in my genitals was causing me quite a bit of pain and discomfort. So frustrating. When my Goddess was satisfied I made my way to the bathroom, where I applied some lubrication to the device, as I had forgot to do that after I had taken my shower. Everything was so much better then. The only thing that I don’t like about applying lubrication is that it gets into my hair which makes it matted and itchy. I will probably remove my hair too when I am released to see how that goes. I also hope that my Goddess will see the benefit and keep her sex shaved properly. I really hope so as it is so much sexier as well as being a better experience for me.

 

Saturday 4th December

Start of day ten, by the end of which I had been in the device for seven days solid. Now that’s an unbroken stint of seven days without access for proper cleaning or access to the ‘goods’. I distinctly remember us agreeing that this trial run was for 1-2 weeks, but I had suspected that I would have been out either yesterday or today. Just shows how wrong you can be. I spent a lot of time wondering whether she has forgotten about how long I have been locked up – she hasn’t asked, and I don’t want to remind her for being accused of being pushy. Whatever. I’ll carry on until either I get released or we have gone so far over that she must have forgot, in which case I will raise the matter. It’s easy I suppose for me to calculate the days because I can recall the very hour that she snapped the lock shut for the first time. My Goddess however, has had so much attention from my tongue that she probably either doesn’t know or maybe even care.
The evening was very pleasant, just the two of us watching TV together. We started watching a movie, but before it finished the day caught up on us, and we both had to go to bed.


Sunday 5th December

Very impressed to sleep soundly until 06:30. When I woke I cuddled up to my Goddess. I must have disturbed her, for she asked me what I was up to. I can’t remember how it happened, but within seconds I was down there between her legs, my tongue giving as good as it could. When she had enough, I playfully climbed on top of her. “What on earth do you think you’re doing?”, she exclaimed. When I laughed with her she added “And you’ve no chance because I’m not unlocking you”. That wiped the smile off my face for sure. I wonder again if she is counting the days in the same way that I am? With that I decided the best thing I could do is to get up and make Goddess a cup of tea, which she could enjoy in her post orgasmic glow, before having another hour or two of a deserved lay-in.  Meantime, I would do one or two of the chores that I could do without making any noise. It also gave me a little quiet time to reflect on this first experience in order to map out some kind of agenda for when we get to discuss this first test run.
After all, it should be this week sometime, shouldn’t it?
My Goddess came downstairs about two hours later, and the smile that she had on her face simply lit up the room. It gladdens my heart to see her looking so happy. I would like to think that this was due to the new direction that our life has been taking of late, but can’t be sure until we get to discuss matters when we finally have a ‘time out’. I do have to say though that she does genuinely seem happier this last week or so.