Was there a particular thing that brought your partner on board?

I'd be really interested in people's answer to this! Still working on it...

 

Oral sex without penetration to follow up, I think

 

In my case, not being married and living together yet, she found the idea that she could be absolutely sure that nothing would be done with my penis that she didn't approve of very appealing. She felt very honored that I would willingly give over control of my sexual energy to her.

 

Amy absolutely LOVED the idea. Made her feel very honored I'd be willing to do that for her.

 

Willingly giving over control of any sexual activities, - was to good to say no to for her - I think. I travel somewhat and often sleep in hotels etc.. She never needs to think about that again. ( She did not need to be afraid in the first place, - but know she can rule out any doubt.)

Later however - the thing that really speeded things up and made her to headjump into this New lifestyle as my Mistress, - was all the added bonuses, - like me doing all the housework, her veto in all decisions, and me nursing and serving her every need, - not just the sexual ones. Being able to predict her next need and to fulfill it to perfection even before she comes around to it herself, - is intoxicating for me - and for her..

Neither of us can image what it would like to turn back time. I Think, - and I guess She feels the same way - that going back is simply no longer an option.

With the renewed contract for 2014 she really blossom as my Mistress. Cutting my allowed release in half- or less, - and me wearing a steel CBT 24/7 -only with allowed daily supervised cleaning, - she has found a side in herself, I'm pretty sure she never would have imagined, when I popped the question of chastity and submissiveness to her 8 months ago.
So to cut it short -- She has DEVELOPED into being a perfect Mistress, - gradually allowing herself to be more and more focusing on her needs, -and learning to let go of any feeling of wrongdoing, - exploitation and abuse.
Se can see that I handle it all so well, - and that I am a 1000 times better husband to here than before.

Sincerly
Blue Eyes

 

my situation is a bit like one mentioned above. I am not married to, nor do I live with my partner. It was his suggestion in the first place, but I think it was more subconscious than deliberate. He felt that he was masturbating too much (unbeknownst to me) and looking at porn too much, (again, I didnt know this). We have always experimented in our sex life. It was, actually, more of a throw away comment, but apparently, my eyes lit up, and it all kinda went from there. I am honoured to be his key holder, it is a responsibility but due to the nature of the rest of our relationship, its really no great shakes. He is currently unlocked, and his chastity is working through trust, but fortunately, he has already discovered the benefits to being chaste, so I think its safe to be on trust. This is mainly due to damage which needs healing, plus the damage that has been caused by a device being badly made, so we need to try to fix that as well. We dont have a contract, I don't feel a need for it. I think the truth of the situation is that each couple has their own unique situation, and own reasons for being chaste, and each has their own 'problems' to deal with. Some travel and fly a lot so metal contraptions arent a good idea. We each have to adapt our own chastity to fit in with our own lives. I have no fear of my man needing to be unlocked in a hurry because Im rarely more than 20 mins away from him. The only thing Im now uncomfortable with is that he is unlocked, so I know there is a temptation, Im happier when I know he cant. Normally I absolutely love it, but due to certain issues at the moment, I feel a bit tentative and ill at ease about it. Im hoping that as time goes on, these bad feelings will go away.

 

You mean you have to be locked up to be willing to pleasure your lady without entering her afterwards?

 

Yes, that as well. These days I just timelock the key away - I'm interested in being chaste, not the key power relationship.

 

Well yes, for me that's half the point.

Other men seem to enjoy the intimate control keyholding gives their partner.

 

We dabbled with it as game, and after some persistent prodding she agreed. But what really skyrocketed it was showing her this site! She's always had a dominant side and enjoys power but around the house we always conflicted on this, so perhaps in a way this might give her what she always wanted.

 

In my case it came down purely to jealousy. Having tried for many years and after many stop start flings with the lifestyle i craved my wife said i would have to look elsewhere for someone to do the things i longed for so much to me but that if i did then although we would stay together then all intimacy between us would cease. We were at this stalemate stage for quite a while and though i love her more than anyone in the world my desire for being tied and dominated made me realise that i needed this avenue in my life to be fulfilled somehow. I explained to her that once pandoras box had been opened so to speak there would be no way to close it again afterwards, however she said she was happy if that was what i wanted and as long as it never came back to her or our family then so be it. I started looking around for someone who would help me fulfil my needs without any risk to my marriage and finally found someone who offered to help me and in the process help them to share some fun but non threatening hours of play. Indeed having made all the arrangements and having kept my wife informed of the progress (whether she believed me or not i am not sure) the time arrived for the meet to take place. My wife knew the day i had arranged and right up until the evening before had expressed no glimmer of being interested or bothered by the event however on the night she asked me to come upstairs and sit on the bed with her. I walked in to find her dressed in her sexy pvc dress i had bought her years before and she had numerous bondage items on the bed and she told me to come and undress and as i did she strapped me to the bed. To say i was turned on was an understatement and i did exactly as she told me to, she did everything to me in that position i had always dreamt she would do and more besides, she pleasured herself several times upon me and when she was spent she rolled over and explained that although this was not what she had dreamt her life would involve the thought of having someone else sharing it with me was too much to bear and if the only way to keep me solely for her was to do this then that is what she would do. She made me promise to cancel whatever arrangements (if any) i had made and that before she let me up she would be making me put on the belt i had kept asking her to make me wear before removing the bondage. I agreed and we go from strength to strength in our relationship, having been happily married for almost 37 years things have only gotten better as a result. My wife has adopted much more of a dominant nature both at home and work and i have softened more as a result, she will never be one of these leather clad dominatrix types we all dream of but in reality that is not what i wanted nor would it be practical for day to day living. In short people may disbelieve this is real however people i know on here and in private would vouch for the way things are now. My wife loves me and i always knew she was jealous that i might stray one day though that would never have happened in a sexual way but it was that little detail that finally made all we now share and enjoy together possible. Take your time to find your way to make this work as i told my wife i never wanted it to be anyone else sharing my fantasy in reality it was always her i longed to share it with and now we do.

 

This is great stuff. My wife finds the whole thing confusing (although was never overly adventurous) and seems to have problems with hygiene as well as the idea/risk of using a key (the numbered plastic locks are a great workaround) plus the obvious potential for "being discovered" when out and about.

In contrast to another post, she *likes* penetration after oral, so that's an issue too. Very interested in more stories, this is a great site -- a lot of other sites have stories that seem more likely to be fiction than real.

 

give her more pleasure than you recieve. penetate her if she wants but no orgasm for you till she has recieved say 5 or 10. Your one will be worth it

 

My wife /mistress always liked control. also she liked belittling me in front of people. It worked great for us. I love her humiliation and control. I find I get more enjoyment when she teases me. While locked. Or servicing her needs with my mouth. Or worshiping her body parts, what ever she sees fit. She loves the control of locking me.

 

I am in the earliest stage of our chastity relationship she has just agreed to me ordering one. I have not had a release for 6 days and then 5 days before that and I am sure she loves all the attention I am paying to her. I do have the problem of a constant hard on like. It's going to take a lot to get her interested though as she is not the adventurous type what so ever. Constantstickyend.com

 

Which one did you order? And god luck - patiences - patiences - and your supreme attention to her every need is What it takes for her to be tempted to go All in - is my experience.

Sincerly BlueEyes

 

I believe it is what you would call a spiral devise my dam phone won't let me upload a picture.

 

Our marraige, as I've posted in my Journal here, was rocky, due to my outgoing, helping personality and her knowledge of my sexual exploits before we got together. She never really trusted me when we were apart, always wondering if I was pleasuring myself (yep), or hooking up with someone else (nope). After I retired from the Military things got worse, until our marraige was close to failing.

I read something online about locked chastity, found and bought a device, and after wearing it for several days withour her knowledge to make sure I could, presented myslf to her and explained she would not have to worry or wonder about me being faithful when off by myself. This seemed to be a turning point, just the fact I was able to show her the committment reaped a huge change in her demeaner, although the device was not really to her liking. During this time I "found" CM, and began reading, posting, and learning about how to make it about her.

A couple of months into this new committment I offered to let her lead, and promised to follow her, both as an experiment and a "test run". WE/I wrote up a contract, signed it, and off we went. That lasted all of two weeks before she shredded it over my attitude and actions. Much discusion led to the realization I was still running the show, so to speak, so after some soul searching and more reading here, I again offeredd her the lead role, but with much more committment to actually making it work. This time I seeem to have fifured it out a little more!

We are now over a year into this FLR, and 9 months since our renewal of vows, with submission and collaring in front of a group of our friends (private ceremony, with 13-ish people there as witnesses). Things are going well, we are still finding our floating balance point (it keeps moving in her direction as we learn to truly live this FLR lifestyle), an we are happier than we had been in a long time. She is still learniing adn grwoing into a stronger, more confident woman, but I know it is difficult for her. She loves me for my strenght, my personality, etc, and doesn't want that part of me to wither, but also enjoys the fact that all she has to do is "ask" me to do something and it gets done.

I do look forward to her continued growth, and hope she becomes stricter and more dominant, but I am happy to serve her anyway I can on this new journey togheter!!!

Caged Wolf

 

well said wolf the hardest part is convincing the person you are trying to entice into this that you will actually stick to the promises you make in order to get them onboard.

 

My ex was so hot and cold on it it was like owning a shower! When I was talking about it in person, got the device out and on me etc., she was up for it. When she got home she was against it. Gave up eventually.

 

I have a feeling that in most relationships, especially after a few decades of marriage, the guy has a higher sex drive than the woman. That was certainly the case with us. This in turn led to excessive masturbation on my part to the point that it was becoming the prime part of my sex life. We were into T&D and chastity play seemed to be the answer to my masturbation control, the differences in our sex drive, and a nice new element to enhance our T&D play. It was win-win for both of us and my wife readily accepted my chastity device which was kind of a surprise for me as I usually have to talk her into things and even then, she does it to please me. She specifically mentioned that she no longer has to give me oral sex whenever I asked for it because most times she did it when she was not in the mood. We now only have sex with we are both horny and it is great. I have gotten so used to sex when we are mutually horny that sometimes when my wife feels she should make me orgasm because it has been longer than usual, I will ask her to back off because it is not enjoyable like that. I rather wait.

I

 

I read all the posts. I think my case is far different. I'm happily married for the last 25 years. We both love each other. Unfortunately, in the last few years, I don't know how but my KH wife developed a strong suspicion that I'm having an affair with some other lady. He feeling became so strong gradually, that our marriage was about to end. In such case, how can you prove that you are clean? Anyway, she lost faith in me, in totality.
Then I started searching remedies on internet and I came across 'benefits of male chastity' and other related information including 'Kelmag's' famous scientific information. I made my wife read all this, to which her response looked quite positive. Then I showed her various chastity devices. She obviously selected the strongest steel spiral chastity cage (my avatar), which looked strong and escape-proof.
Sometime in April 2012 it arrived and the same day she locked me. It took me a couple of weeks to get over the teething troubles of fitting, chaffing etc. The 'only' intention for entering this lifestyle for me was to re-gain her confidence in me. First few nights I insisted that she tried to release my penis without unlocking, which helped her confirm that the cage is real prison & she has total control on my penis. (To avoid the possibility of me using a duplicate key, she has installed a number lock & every time I am released for sex, she changes the number combination)
It was only after she was confident that I can't play any tricks, the spice in our relationship & sex came back. We have sex about once-twice a week (whenever she demands), which is far more intense than ever before. Staying locked 24x7 has changed my personality inside out. I am now a loving, caring & obedient husband looking after all her pleasures. Many thanks to that genius who discovered chastity!!