Chastity without a device?

I'm in a BDSM/chastity relationship with my Mistress, and we don't live together. Because we are a part for up to a week, we have to trust each other regarding what, we have promised each other. When she orders me to wear cufflinks and necklace when I go to sleep, I do so, and she trusts me, when I tell her, I've done, as she ordered me to. That is what makes it possible to have a relationship when not living together.

We both need the feel the control is enforced. She calls me up ,and asks me to "rattle the cage", so she can hear the sound of the padlock hitting the steel tube. That is her way of being in control, even though not present. I feel naked without wearing the chastity device, as it gives me a feeling of her being present. So we both have our need for control and have found our own ways of getting it.

I'm not allowed to come without her presence or without her permission. I have a key for the device, for safety and cleaning. After a while I have found that I don't need to come. I'm focused on her needs and when she orders me to come, I get pleasure out of following her order.

I could easily cheat, and not do what she orders me to. To me, that would be the same as handing her the necklace, and break up the relationship, which is something that is totally out of the question, as I value our relationship too much.

 

Hello Miss_Red_Dragon,

I obviously can't comment about your Male Sub's will-power to obey you but I strongly recommend him to behave himself. From my perspective, having failed once myself, thinking that it would be worth the repercussions. I was so wrong, I felt incredibly guilty afterwards, I was ashamed I had let my Domme down, I had to own up to my Domme. Never say Never but honestly don't think I will repeat my error.

How long do you think it will be before his injury heals and you can lock him up again. It could have a bearing whether he succeeds or not?

 

im a bad boy with out my device. just pm miss c . she will tell you. im not ashamed ,im just a normal flawed male

 

I have the will power, that's honestly not an issue. That said I too have known the shame of failure in the past (not for Miss Red Dragon), not of orgasm, just of touching what is not mine and I know what you mean, any punishment whilst perhaps far from trivial is transient compared to the self recrimination.

As Miss knows I have been self locking the past couple of days to try out some changes that do seem to have prevented the pinching that caused the cuts when I was previously wearing the device, but whilst forever I have access to the key it isn't the same for either of us.

 

I'm a male and flawed, if I wasn't locked, I would be having a wank fest. I can only refrain when locked. If I am self locked then the keys have to be out of reach or I will just use them. I love to orgasm, I love the feel of an erection, and I love the feeling when I am at the edge. Most aspects of BDSM I find a huge turn on and pleasing my Mistress or keyholder is the biggest turn on of all. I would do the manly thing and promise not to touch of course, but for me, that just isn't possible.

 

The honor system either to be left unlocked or locked with access to the key.
Well I must say its not easy . However a Man's word should be his bond ( No pun intended )
To break your word and cheat. What would be the point . Cheating your KH cheating yourself.
If you are not ready or willing to submit " Don't "

 

Most males are "flawed". It is in their nature to cheat. I have yet to find one that can be controlled online.

 

I can see how you could think that . There are so many cheats and fakes. Its a shame that honest and trustworthy guys to get put in the same category.

 

If people in general could be trusted on the honour system there would be no need for any of us to spend £££ on a suitable chastity device. In my opinion the honour system doesn't work, for a few days, most people would manage, but for long term anyone that uses the honour system is just kidding them self. But that's just my point of view

 

As you say that's your point of view and you are of course entitled o it, but mine is that I totally disagree, as lockit says above its a shame we all get lumped in together. I did 10 months that way with as much as 4 months between orgasms, but it was an online thing that I ultimately found unsatisfying.

This past 3 weeks caused by a cut from the belt nipping and then my being busy and unable to see Miss Red Dragon to be locked up again I have not once contemplated touching (beyond hygiene) let alone masturbating. That would break a fundamental trust in our relationship, I knew from the outset that chastity was a prerequisite of the (D/s) relationship with Miss,
to break that trust is inconceivable to me.

Of course I have been horny and even desperate to touch but have never actually considered doing it.

As Miss has commented I have found the sensations of being locked and being under the honour system quite different.: I'm not sure which I prefer but I do know which Miss prefers so that is how things will be.

Only about 11 hours now till I see her and can hand the key back once more.

 

It may well be possible for some strong willed individual males to resist temptation without a device on but i think they are a minority in our species most of us would succumb to temptation given the chance, i find the device itself makes the resistance
all the more of a turn on in some respects wearing the device and knowing it cant come off is more of a lasting buzz than a quick release and orgasm.

 

I found it much easier to resist temptation when I was collared than it is now that I'm free.

Then again, I had to edge myself every night so I wasn't removing all stimulation... (and from what I've read since then I have the sneaking suspicion that what I was doing was closer to ruined orgasms than edging, as there was almost always some slight leakage :s)

 

Must say stroppy, you've taken the words right out of my mouth, mate. I've gone from once a day without fail to once a month if I'm lucky, and yes it is well worth it when I do get to cum.

 

Without wishing to be elitist about it I think that is probably the crux of it with many guys. There is a fundamental difference between a submissive being in chastity because his dominant wishes it, to someone who has a kink/fetish for chastity/T&D etc for the later it is a kind of self fulfilling prophecy, the denial itself makes you hornier and hornier, without an incentive you are ultimately always likely to fail. For a submissive chastity is just one of many things that you undertake for your dominant, why would you fail to do that any more than you might anything else. Of course there are those guys who can manage to self deny for long periods but they are few and far between and I suspect they would all admit they would find it easier to be denied by someone else, even if only on the honour system than to self deny.

 

The honor system is normally a short term period. Maybe when the device can't be worn for some reason.
I think what Mistress B was referring to online. where the sub may or may not have access to the keys.
Then that comes down to trust . Trusting the sub not use the emergency key for example. ( or the extra key they had cut )
It looks like some people have a different idea's about Honor and Trust

 

Mistress B is right, most males are flawed, that said, a lot of men don't deliberately cheat, it's just that we males can't help ourselves and we regret it afterwards

 

Men are like pencils............both make mistakes and that is why they are better with rubbers on the end!

 

Well I think I'm in the minority of males then. Since I met Mistress Deborah and we lived together I have not wanked once on my own for any reason. Mistress Deborah does it when she desires. I cannot see the point if you love someone and have a healthy sex life why do I need to do that. Mistress Deborah does wank as a Mistress has her needs ...
Regards
slave phil

 

Hi Philfred i dont think its a case of them NEEDING to! its more a case of being ABLE to! and the fact that someone has prevented them from being able to is what makes it more erotic for them. I have never been a seasoned wanker and have never had to do
it just for the sake of doing it but having the option removed from me by someone else is what floats my boat.

 

chastity without a belt or device is NOT possible for me ! reg. GWENY

 

For me, it depends on how long I must stay chaste. More than a week is difficult for me, especially if I just beginning a lock up. If I have to be let out for a day or two I can control myself, but beyond that, I need to be locked. Not a chance I could make several months without a good steel device.

 

I ahve ben out of my CD since before Thanksgiving, and have had no failures of the trust my Mistress places in me. To break the trust wold be devastaing to ME, not to mention the pain of having to face her for that failure.

I love my Mistress, and would wilingly give up uch more for her!.