Hi all, I am 44 years old and so is my wife. We have been together for 20 years and since I met her she is the most beautiful and maybe the only woman in this planet to me. I am totally in love with her and I can not take my hands away from her sonce I met her. I am also a bit kinky but she was always shy and brought up in the "Christian" way that says that sex is something dirty and sinful. Over the years she changed a lot and I influenced her into be a little more free to listen to her instincts interested to what she has been taught. Our sex life the past years was always a spike to our relationship. I was always unsatisfied and she was always denying. There were times that I had to push her hard to get what I wanted not realising the impact that this behaviour had in our relationship. The reason was that in the beginning she didn't want it, but later she was getting hot and she looked like she enjoyed it too, or at least that's what I thought. A couple of years ago I found out about chastity and bought my first cage. I was playing with it for quite some time until she found out about it. In the beginning she didn't liked it at all and she just got herself out of it and let me do whatever I was doing. Later she was curious about it and I talkd her about it. It took us both some time until we realised that the cage brought us to a different stage in sex and played an extremely important part in our relationship. After some time locked, things were brought into surface that none of had ever realised. Most important was that all I knew about sex was absolutely wrong! I didn't have to cum every other day to be satisfied and happy. I didn't have to use my penis to make love to my beloved wife. Just because I have a quite big penis doesn't make me a good lover. Making love to my wife doesn't express the feelings I got for her. And the fact is that I really love her. It was after a couple of weeks that some of the chastity effects started to kick in that we started to realise that something was changing between us. I was hornier than ever but I was not showing it in an offensive or manipulating way. This was a surprise to my wife and the way everything was happening was so vanilla that has never been before. I was in an all time burning sensation but she was not in an alert mode that sooner or later I will jump on her and just use her as she was feeling in the past. The confession that that was the feeling she was getting from my sexual behaviour was the biggest shock I ever had! I always thought I was a good lover and being in love with her was evident in our sex life. I always thought that I was taking good care of her but she thought that when I was horny I never thought of her... I was devastated after these revelations. It was then when we had a really big talk that took us days if not weeks to explain to each other our feelings. During this period early menopause hit her and all of the impacts this hormone instability makes things much worse. After being caged for quite some time I realised that I don't need my penis to have sex and definitely I don't need to cum to be content. Sometimes if it's been long that I haven't cum, I am cuming in the toilet. When I finish passing urine, just like the last contractions of the bladder to empty it, it feels like it's a litle thicker fluid and it takes a few more contractions to empty cum as well. No more feelings other than a few more contractions to empty my bladder! Now, sometimes she prefers me to be out of my cage and just touching me in my private area. She said that it helps her get out of her anxiety crisis she sometimes have and makes me feel loved and accepted. In the past she never touched me there. It would immediate would mean sex. On the other hand, I was feeling as if I (my penis) was never accepted and loved. She doesn't act like a keyholder and if I, for any reason I want to get out of it, I am allowed but to both of us act like I am still caged. I have swear that I will never again start something against her will and that she is the only one allowed to start a sex session or even a game. I wish I could find a cage that I could wear for longer periods of time or even permanently. Slowly we have replaced my penis anyway although sometimes she asks for it.
sounds ideal to me Menopause generally sucks for both the woman and the man in their lives. Life is a learning experience dont be too hard on yourself
Interesting, my perspective is that, the more you release herbfrom mundane tasks and enable end encourage her to develop and empower the feminine being she is, the more she will grow and that sexuality will kick in at some point, probably in a magnitude that a. will surprise you and b. you may not be able to satisfy, all the best and I hope my comment is not perceived as cheap or intrusive, just my unsolicited two cents.
Don't worry my friend, I am here to see what everyone has to say in his own perspective. I believe that she started to feel free enough to express herself much easier than ever and this is a huge step for us, so you may be right about her sexuality. Let's just hope that I will be enough for her in the future...
She is taking your self imposed chastity positively. She is facing a decline in sexual needs and is equally contented that you are willing to tone down your own for her sake, at least that was what she thought, unknowing that you have your own hidden desires and dark kink. Rather a menopause death to desires, there is now an uplift of potential attraction to each other. Yes, sex is not just about penile penetration into here or where. Once the penis is disabled, the mind will search for ways to keep her satisfied, contented and rewarded. Never a better time to emancipate her to explore her sensual ways and focus not just on the blo.. y cock.
My wife went through menopause and several other traumatic experiences, including the death of her parents. We got through all the trials and now in our 60s, my beautiful wife has learned that she is still sexual. I guarantee you that I am having the best sex of my life. I have found that if I make her feel like a beautiful, sexy woman , she responds as such.
I would recommend the Holy trainer for long term comfort, but daily washing is necessary. At most two days. It took me 22 years to realise the pressure I put on her.
Most of us men are used to ejaculating frequently or daily. It is a habit and almost like a drug addiction. We just need a boost, IE cage, to stop the cycle. Once that cycle is broken, we feel pretty good. Most wifes don't know it, but they will see results from their husband if they are having less orgasms. Doesn't mean they can't every have sex or orgasm, but the wife will benefit from reducing them and taking away the males masturbation habit. I think many wives would love it it if they knew their husband wasn;t masturbating behind their back.
I got caught self locking after our sex life dropped to zero when my wife had her hysterectomy. When she discovered my secret she embraced it and took the reigns at full speed. She had me pierced and placed in a very secure cage. There is no way she would go back wards now. I don't know if her sex drive will ever return to normal, but I know we are both enjoying the new normal.