I believe I need Loving Female Authority here...

Ladies & Gentlemen,
I am a youngish middle aged male who like so many of my Gen X( fellows I have developed a problem with porn and my sexuality. As you can see from the name I choose when I signed up I lean strongly toward the submissive and have found a comfortable home amongst the Sissy Culture. That said I don't want to be a freak when I am 50... Playing these games when you are young is fine. You generally have the time, however, the older you get the less sex becomes a minute to minute concern and the more your desire for a partner is beyond immediate coitus... Further I have viewed SO MUCH porn over the last 20 years that I have desensitized myself to real intimacy and it has become a real chore to orgasm in a natural time period with a partner. I don't think that I can limit my interest in the subject matter as a great deal of it speaks directly to me. I don't know if I am odd, actually I know I AM odd, however, I want to bring my course back to a healthy, even if kinky, relationship with a female partner. Very few women want to put up with a male partner whose legs are likely smoother than hers and he spends FAR more time painting finger nails and toe nails than she does. Granted those nails rarely make it outside of the house, however, I see Sissy Feminization on the wall and have seen it for 6-9 months. I tried to pull away, however, it sabotaged my physical health regimen that is almost completely tied in with the Sissy thing... What I want to ask is if I can't be trusted not to look, how about a holy trainer with the key mailed to a female friend, and an emergency spare in a security break lockbox? This would eliminate my ability to masturbate and might allow me to concentrate on something other than internet sex and hypnos... If I were 20 and not 40 I would likely go that route in total, however, I am at an age where this sort of thing just looks bad. I am embarrassed for some of these men in the extreme...

Please don't take my question as me making a statement. I am in your hands, submissively gazing at the floor. This is NOT a soap box but a question. Am I fooling myself into believing I can sexually starve my Sissy Side into oblivion?

Thank you so much... Matthew.

 

Pinkie & Wendy,
I would like to thank both of you for gently reminding me that ignoring my true nature is unlikely to be successful or very satisfying. I suppose I hoped I could experience enough "tough love" to literally "straighten" out my life. That said, I am not THAT person even though I often wish I were. I have found much warmth, acceptance, and unconditional love from many people on the pink side of the spectrum. To be perfectly honest it is my favorite color for many reasons... I would like to thank both of you again. Very sweet and genuine advice...

Kisses, Matthew.