after my short introduction a few days ago a quick transition took place. when i opened up to my wife about wanting to crossdress i head not in mind that this would be some more permanent crossing but thinking about it, reading some queer theorey articles on crossdressing/transgender and asking myself where i see me in between those defintions and concepts. quickly i realized that i am not "just" crossdressing", that neither I wear womens fashion for sexual arousement, nor did i need particullary sexy outfits. i very much liked the skirt and top my wife gave me (and so did she). i bought some basic underwear, tops and so on and hope to get some outerwear as well (currently i only have some pants of my wife, wearing them allday) tomorrow to step out as a transfeminine person. that being that, i do not plan or wish to become a full time biologial woman but to stay in my male body being just more than one gender... although this path started with me putting on a cage and stopping porn and masturbating and goes way beyond this back in my past, it has today not much obvious to do with chastity. but i am still in mental chastity, having not the need for a cage since some days now. one night i could not sleep, my nightly erection was disturbing. i did not wanted to touch myself, instead i put on a cage - not only the erection vanished the feeling of arousement moved from my penis (outside of myself) towards my root chakra and slowly opened my mind. feeling to a certain extent as woman now, rather letting this feeling out especially express itself also in my outer appearance, i realized that i dont need a male orgasm any longer. of course i already know that i have more than one erogenous zone and that the ecstatic feeling i had in the past without using my cock now becomes another stronger meaning to me. so, keeping my mental chastity on has a different motivation now and feels way more easier. i dont crave the ejaculation (never did the last 6 weeks) and i am most certainly not be frustrated denying it - however i will (together with my wife) explore my other erogenous zones of course i have some questions regarding this way of chastity. i feel my semen retaining inside my balls which hurts a bit and is somewhat uncomfortable. it has been worse in the past and i hope that this pain will vanish once my testicles are used to the new situation BUT maybe someone can give me some advice or experience of long term/permanent denial of ejaculation. would, for instance, a vasectomy would ease this? is there anything else i have to think about exept from taking care of my prostata? anyway, i am pretty curious how thinks will develop from here... last thing, before it slips of - my wife can not stand my choosen name Suse, as it is her sisters name and they do not get along very well... not sure about taking a (more) feminine name or staying with my "real" name but i maybe present myself with some other name in the future. but for now, you can call me suse*