I am interested to know those females that have changed from a Vanilla (Sub) type of person to Chocolate (Dominant ). I am particularly interested to know if YOU changed yourself or your partner made you change. My current theory (Based on my wife) is that the best you can do is come out with a Choc Top, and once you take a bite it is still Vanilla underneath. Dianne.
I was vanilla once. And my lockee was once my vanilla bf.Now he's ex in that department but vey definitely and irrevocably sub to me. Was his action that triggered the cause of the change, but my initial move to get him there. Complicated.
@OwnedbyLeeanne. .. Well I believe this can really happen. . If you read my blog on here Mistress Deborah was not a domme when we met far from it. My cupboard of kink used to scare her and as for latex that was all going to go. .. But something happened. . And she got curious and then came chastity and the rest is history. Regards Lucy x
Interesting, While my wife is Vanilla when we first started dating about 35 years ago I found a BDSM magazine in her flat. The magazine moved around a couple of times and then went missing. I have never asked her about it and I guess it was a previous boyfriend that brought it in, however I do wonder why it moved around a few times before it got thrown out. My point is maybe she has always had a curiosity about BDSM but is so Vanilla she cant express it. Do we have any resident shrinks that can explain all this.....? Dianne.
Lol I only get treated by shrinks but love the games they play. However I believe quite a few of the good tops have a sub background . They know what makes a sub tick and as such can be very Inventive. What makes some one switch got to be as many reasons as the people because kink is so very personal, the specific fetish the specific point or act what ever. However I do suspect it is something deep in the background that is suddenly ignited and thus with a little oxygen it all happens. Xx Wendy
My wife, like most wives introduced to chastity, was as vanilla as could be. As painful as it was for me, being patient and restraining from topping from the bottom, she gradually became comfortable in her new role. Now she is vanilla on the outside in every way but milk chocolate on the inside with sprinkles of dark chocolate every once in a while. From what I have observed, I am in for one heck of a ride if she turns full dark chocolate on the inside.
I was vanilla as you can get and then a male # # # # did things to me that have negatively effected me for many years. Not going to go into it but not consenting is not pleasant. After that day, I have never let a male be dominant sexually to me. Sometimes we are equals, but no male will be in control again. Sorry if I've been too serious.
I have never been vanilla, but I did start out exploring my sexuality in a submissive role. I was probably born out of strawberry if we are using that metaphor haha. I have been active in the BDSM lifestyle for about four years as a submissive. With that said, I always had more of a "brat" attitude than a "natural" submissive demeanor, but I enjoyed the idea of surrendering my control to someone else. I never thought about dominating anyone until I met my current partner. It was almost as if she had the key that unlocked a second half of my identity. I am inexplicably and irreversibly addicted to the effect she has on me. I love hearing the longing in her voice when she pleads with me to let her climax. I adore the noises she makes when I finally let her come for me. I don't know if vanilla can turn, but strawberry can definitely switch to chocolate. I am very comfortable and happy with my place as her keyholder. I do know for sure though that my partner didn't force the change, or pressure me into it. From the moment she mentioned it to me, it was something that peaked my interest and I wanted to try it. I do believe that sexuality is fluid and it can change over time. But I don't think that someone else has the ability to force anyone to like a certain activity or fetish. People can be convinced to try something new, but it is really up to them whether they enjoy it or not.
Hi I think you are just in love and that is as simple and lovely as it needs to be . From the way you both write it's obvious. Who is actually in control of who is irrelevant just enjoy who you both are. It's a artificial product of present society that like a computer chip can be off or on even though it switches quite often !! We have to tick box's are you male or female are you 18 -21 or 22-35 . To fit in the form so we can be classified into a category for marketing purposes. I think to carry your analogy on ,you are both strawberry sundies with chocolate sauce on top. However in my mind just a lovely couple who I hope can have a lot of fun and enjoy life together . Not sure if I remember if you are still miles apart but it will be good to hear you have got a place together and wake up in each arms every day. Xx Wendy
Hello everybody me and my husband/slave have been together for 28 years, ,, he's always been the DOM alfa male and still is out side real life every day. . I got a taste of dominating him and like it actually loved it,, watching him submitting to my demands and accepting his feminization training is such a turn on for me. .. and yes a vanilla can turn chocolate in my case Mistress. L