Bad News for me

I have spent the last two months teaching my wife about Chastity and domestic discipline. She is not the type to visit these kind of web sites on her own and know what is pure fantasy and what is realistic. Knowing this, I provided her with links to websites and copies of good articles. I have also taught her what teases me the most and the need to be strict with me because it is my nature to take advantage of someone's weakness.

On the domestic discipline front, she started out afraid to hurt me. Freaked out the first time she saw the bruises she left. Eventually she began to understand that she was doing no permanent harm and even began to get aroused. I got her a crop, flogger and paddle and had her try each one to learn how hard to use it and the kind of marks it left. She got good at it. She then began to enjoy it and get aroused by it. However, luckily, she only enjoys it as a real punishment and not for fun. In the past she held it all in when she was upset and most times I did not even know it . Now she can get it out of her system all at once but never right after she is angry. She waits a day or two and then punishes me in a non sexual way.

I used the same method used to train my past Mistresses. I never met a non professional women who knew much about BDSM or chastity. Maybe I hung out with the wrong crowd. However, they were all willing to learn and learn they did. Of course, this involved topping from the bottom but someone had to teach them and expose them to all the things they could do and how to do them. This process was a lot of fun for us all as we got to try things that I normally would not try unless my partner wanted to try them. In this process I discovered that it was not so much what was done to me but rather that I got aroused by seeing my partner/Mistress get aroused and excited by what she was doing to me. When my partner feels ready, I surrender myself to her and no longer top from the bottom. I take whatever she gives.

I should note that I always, repeat, always only train and play with intelligent women with no metal or emotional problems. I put my life in their hands as my limits are just nothing that requires medical attention. Anything else, they can do. I cannot tell you the things that have been done to me as the list would be very long and sound like a fantasy as it is many things guys fantasize about. I can tell you that it is easier to find a female open to trying new things sexually than to find one who already was trained in your fetish or kink. This has worked for me over and over again and what I recommend to others seeking a play partner.

Now back to the present. My wife was cut loose this week and she now feel comfortable in her role as keyholder and head of household. She is still more submissive than dominant but that is OK because I do not want to be her slave. She will tell me to do a few things to do for her each day but does so politely as anyone else would. Prior to this she refused to ask me to do anything and expected that I would automatically want to do whatever it was that she wanted me to do. Long story but it has to do with her upbringing. Now she is more comfortable in asking me, even telling me at times, what to do but it is not burdensome to me and stuff that I enjoy doing anyway. I do not act subservient to her and she does not want me to. As mentioned above, she does not paddle my butt for the fun of it but only if I forget to do something several times and after the lasts paddling, I have not forgot to do my assigned chores any more.

In the past the longest she has denied me an orgasm was 10 days but the norm was usually sex twice a week. She still had a hard time denying me when I was moaning and groaning and begging for release. Today, well yesterday now, my wife denied me my usual Saturday night orgasm as she made me watch her have hers using her favorite vibrator. It was intense for her. When it was over she simply told me to lock myself back up as my CB6000 slipped off due to her enthusiastic ball squeezing. I am still sore from that. Then she hit me with the bad news. She said that she now understands that when I say I want to cum I really want her to deny me no matter how hard I beg. She understands that she is pleasing me more by denying me than when she lets me have an orgasm. She finally gets it so now she told me that I might have to wait a month for my orgasm. However, she also told me that we will have sex tomorrow and maybe she will let me have a final one before we tried for a full month.

Quite honestly, I do not know if I would like a whole month without an orgasm. Unlike some, I never get aroused thinking about long term orgasm denial, just a lot of teasing and denial maybe for a week. A month seems like too long for someone who used to orgasm once or twice a day. The 10 day stint I did was pushing my limits but also showed me that I will lose interest in sex after a lot of teasing and denial. I found myself going into not wanting to get aroused so that I would not feel frustrated. When my release finally came, it was not very good. Not the fantastic and intense orgasm that people write about. I had much better orgasms after just a few days of chastity. As always, what we will end up doing is what pleases both of us. I would go the month if that is what my wife truly wants. I do not want her to feel that she has to deny me because I want it that way. I want her to only let me have an orgasm when she feels she wants to, knowing that if she does, she has to put up with me being bitchy for a few days afterwards and basically taking the rest of the week to get back to where I am now.

The student has now become the master. I no longer am topping from the bottom. She has been exposed to all the various methods in T&D and chastity as well as domestic discipline and a wife led marriage. It is now up to her to decide where we go from here. I am sure that this is not a post that anyone will get aroused by, but it is a real post from a person who actually does the things he posts about As I like to say, in real life, people got to pee sometimes which basically means that there is real life that has to be dealt with. When I read someone say that they were tied up for a whole day and no mention of peeing, that is a red flag to me, hence the expression, in real life, people have to pee.

As usual, my post is long but if you made it this far you will have an insight into a real wife led marriage with some T&D and chastity play. Keep in mind that we do step in and out of our respective roles and have periods of normalcy. As I sit here, locked up once again with sore balls from being squeeze and then pushed through my CB6000 that was attached without any spacer at all. That is one small opening and a lot of pain. I hope that someone has at least learned something from my experience. If nothing else it is a message of hope and advice about finding a female willing to explore fetishes with you and then teaching her what you know and pointing her to sources of information that are realistic and not pure fantasy. Always remember that you can have Chastity, T&D and a female led relationship without any element of domination. In fact, I suggest that you start off with just the pure fetish and then add things to it as you go along. Too much at one time tends to scare off potential play partners.

 

Good to know that others share my pain. My wife has started making me sleep with my CB6000 on again. Today she told me that she was disappointed in me because she saw that impinged out on donuts late last night because I worked until 3am and lost track of how many I ate. We were supposed to have sex today, probably just teasing but now I do not know. All she said was that because of what I did, I will have to wait longer than she had in mind whatever that means. At least due will unlock me for my doctor visit Tuesday.

 

Looks like my wife is serious about going much longer than before. We usually have sex on weekends and she did not unlock me Saturday or Sunday. On Saturday she masturbated with her vibrator while I watched with a hint that Sunday night would be my orgasm night. Well it is Sunday and all that happened is she made me shower and shave as usual, as she said, just in case she wanted to do oral on me. I was very excited and went into bed hoping for a super orgasm. She said that she did not want to cum because she was still a little sore from yesterday. However, once she started teasing me in my CB6000 and I started moaning, she took off her panties and had me play with her. She had a very intense orgasm and then teased me some more. I asked her if she had the key but she said no, I was not going to cum for a long time. Then she told me to perform oral on her because she knows how much I like it. She had a less intense orgasm, teased me for another 15 minutes and then said it was time to go and massage her feet. She had me do that for two hours and gave me one hour of free time before bedtime.

We talked as I was massaging her feet and she said that she was enjoying my sexual frustration immensely. She also said that she was going to be more firm with me because for our entire marriage I had walked all over her because she was very lenient and that would end now. Sounds bad but she still is finding her dominant feet so it is not very bad, yet.

 

She has the key and keeps me locked up as much as possible. When I am unlocked I am either out of the house or with her. The few times I am unlocked and have an opportunity I do not do anything. Think about it. You are self imposing chastity on yourself so if you cheat you are only cheating yourself. Hate to say this but even with a keyholder, if you are determined to cheat, you will find a way so you have to ask yourself if the reality of chastity is something you would enjoy. Personally I do not see it as a solo activity but a lot of guys seem to enjoy it that way. Sort of like BDSM. I like it only when someone else is inflicting pain on me, never inflict pain on myself as I know it would hurt so I do not do it. Hope this makes sense but realize that since you do not have a keyholder, you are doing this for yourself. You are your own keyholder and if you cannot make yourself do it, the odds are that no one else is going to be able to either since we do it because we want to do it and not because a keyholder is forcing us to do so against our wills.

If you feel chastity is what you want, find yourself a keyholder but I am afraid that unless there is a personal and emotional bond between the both of you so that the benefits of your chastity will improve the relationship, you may quickly lose interest. Most of us do it to improve our relationship with our significant other. Why would I want to stop masturbating if they were not interfering with my marriage? Masturbation is good, not bad and if it is out of control, just reduce it rather than eliminate it. That is my advice. I may be wrong as I do remember being wrong once a long time ago.

Seriously, you will find chastity much different in the context of a relationship. Good luck and hope you find what you are looking for.