I have been a key holder for approx. a year and it never ceases to amaze me just how selfish and rude subs/tossers can be. I spend a lot of time and effort messaging and teasing them and the minute things don't go their way they revert to Neanderthals. They moan and groan, start back biting and gossiping about all and sundry. They don't bother to use their manners and drop you like a hot brick. They are a load of sluts that will go with any woman who will entertain their shallow egos . They are not real subs just in-secure tossers who don't know how to treat women in anyway! I mean what do you think if you have to prompt them to do what they SHOULD? I can fully understand why so many women charge for their time and efforts. I really don't think I can be arsed anymore ! Really can't .
Its a sad fact that too many folk profess to wanting to be submissive to a Mistress on sites like this however a large number of them are in fact just looking for some form of interaction and response from any female and use it for self gratification whether supposedly locked or not. Never give up Mistress Deborah there are many genuine folks out there who would cherish the time and effort you put in to a relationship and it would be such a shame if someone missed out on your company due to some other waster! slave stroppy
Mistress Deborah, i am sorry to hear about your misfortune in finding committed submissives. In my former wanderings (before meeting my beautiful Wife) i was not quite aware what was required to be a "good" submissive, and of course made some blundering, stupid errors. i attribute them to youth . i am only now finding the kind of knowledge and wherewithal needed to submit entirely to Her sweet commands. i can only assume that many men (and women perhaps as well) are still in a selfish phase of their submission, and may need to do some serious internal work on their own before seeking out a Mistress. i hope you find someone worthwhile.
With all due respect Ma'am, some of us need much more training than others. I know that much like a child, I start to act up and act out when I feel I'm not getting any attention. I'm a handful and I'm a pain in the ass, but I am devoted and my loving Wife wouldn't have it any other way. Just like there are many different styles of Mistresses/Dommes, there are many different types of subs. People are people, and many times some people just don't get along well together and it's even rarer for two people to click.
By getting attention, I mean being allowed to service my wife and prove my submissiveness. I don't know if that even makes sense to anyone, other than myself, but I'm pretty sure many of the subs out there will be able to relate at least a little bit.
i understand what you are saying, Epiladdy. my Wife will sometimes not want me around, or simply be busy with a solitary activity, and i can get a little sad. The best thing to do, i have found, is to just be as helpful and quiet as possible, and be ready the moment She needs me.
I've had similar experiences and can understand how you feel right now. I wish instant messaging came with a bullsh*t detector. Hope you get your mojo back again soon.
It's a shame, but from the subs point of view, in my experience, some Mistresses often confuse submissive with weak and think they can literally do what they want, make inappropriate requests for the situation the people are in, and aren't strong enough to admit that, when they do make a mistake, they have made a mistake. But that's just my experience, and its always easier to blame it on the subs
That really is quite rude ! Anyone truly into chastity will be respectful to his/her keyholder as they know who is in control.I suggest tghose that have been so rude may not be truly committed to yourself or the lifestyle and therefore do not warrrant your true appreciation or control! Let them go and concentrate on those of us that truly crave your attention!! xx
Can I ask what part specifically you found rude? You have to remember we may all be here for our love of chastity but that love stems from different reasons, wants, and needs. I don't crave attention, nothing wrong with that, but i do want to know that i can trust my keyholder and they trust me. The keyholder is in control, but with me, there are limits to their control. I dont want to be asked to do things in an online relationship that could hurt or jeapodise elements of my real life, is that wrong? I dont think so. But none of the above makes me any less respectful or committed to chastity.
I think that as you just stated the difference is that you have in one respect "given" control however you still make limits to the level of control they actually have, in a true sub/dom relationship surely the limits have been agreed on prior to commencement and any that do crop up afterwards are dealt with jointly with the Mistress or Master having been given control having the ultimate decision. Trust in someone that you have promised to obey should be 100% before the start of any relationship either you want to be dominated or you dont . The confusion arises when the sub questions certain commands and then refuses to act them out as instructed but surely if you have already given authority to the person in control you have to trust them to do the right thing and not put you in a situation that may harm you by complying. slave stroppy
In any exchange of power limits should be agreed but negotions can't, and never will cover every scenario that can, will, or might happen so common sense still has to be used. As far as blindly following instructions is concerned on the grounds you have agreed to submit is ridiculous. Doms and Dommes do sometimes make bad decisions. As far as following pre agreed instructions goes, if it was negotiated before then it should be followed, agree totally. If however it was assumed that specific rules would bein force, even though they had never been mentioned, expecting them to happen is unrealistic at best. Goong on the blind ovedience bit, if for some reason, rightly or wrongly, your domme tells you to leave and look else where and you comply, then should the domme be upset that you are complying with an order if you leave? Bit of a no win situation there.
For some one who wrote the subject lines to Mistress Deborah as under your control, all you started to do was whine about getting free and asking for release. Mistress told me she didnt want you to get free so set you a challenge she knew you would not complete. You were also offered another way out that involved no Sexual act. You were told also by Mistress I believe that she didnt like you talking to others Mistresses . I believe this is basic respect to your key holder. Mistress then caught you in the act and you scream that you didn't and demand your keys back and all with no respect. Or did I miss something out ?
Yes you did, seeing as we are being more specific...... its very funny that at the start of this ruckus you told me Mistress Deborah was very happy with me, also that you yourself had asked her if she had asked me not to talk to others and confirmed she hadn't via a pm. I had talked to her about this and the outcome was not "well don't do it", nothing was said. Does Mistress Deborah not like the begging? When did that change? What she asked was not a calculated proposal, knowing I wouldn't or couldn't do it, it was far from that as she changed it as soon as I challenged the it in the current circumstances, yes I had an out, that was cheaper than the flowers I was sending every month, so wouldn't I just use that if so desperate? She chose to listen to gossip, from someone she doesn't trust....your words I believe?.....and then didnt seem to like that after she told me to go, I asked for the keys back. Did I miss anything!
bondagefan65 Shall we stop all of this bad feeling? Look- the top and bottom of it is this..... I was very happy with you until I discovered you were talking to other Mistresses. I asked you about this you told me why. I wasn't happy but left it alone- I should have told you I wasn't happy. Trouble is I thought that as you had Mistress experience before you would realise this was a no no. Also as a grown man I thought you would realise my displeasure and at least ask my permission . All in all I did not like what was going on and have been very unhappy with the way you are acting now. To top it all the keys have gone missing... It has all gone sour. Can we draw a line under this and leave it alone, there's no need for all if this bad feeling. Let it lie.
That's easy for you to say, its not your keys that are missing At the moment, the way I am is simply because I have been having to respond to half truths, fashioned to make me look generally bad. I'm not a mind reader and that if someone types "ok" in an email its very hard to tell if that's ok or ok or ok :s