I find this thread rather sad, perhaps you expect a little too much too quickly, worthit. Is She your keyholder, if so, then at least this is a start.
I can relate to your frustration. One of the reasons that I introduced the idea of chastity play to my wife was as a way of dealing with my feelings of being sexually ignored. She has a lot of reasons to be fearful of men and sex. It took a while, but she is making a lot of progress, little by little, learning to feel more comfortable with her sexuality. 20 years is a long time, and you've have shared a great deal of history with her, so don't lose hope. Is she seeing a therapist to deal with this-- or does she not see this as an issue? Does she take any sort of medication that might be artificially lowering her libido? I can see from your many other posts on this site that you are a caring, thoughtful person who deserves the same in return. Good luck with it.
I too can identify with your situation. All I can say is hang in there and don't give up. I'm afraid I didn't "come out" so to speak until just a few years ago. Imagine, after 30 years of marriage I suddenly asked my wife to lock me up in a chastity belt. OK, well it wasn't quite that bad, but I sure caught her off guard. We've (or more correctly I've) been into this for three years now and it's been a slow journey forward with chastity. I've been patient (although I'm not sure my wife would agree) and persistent. I can truly say that my otherwise very vanilla wife has really embraced her role as Keyholder. We are experiencing a closeness and intimacy that we haven't had since before we were married. She now keeps me locked in my Neosteel pretty much permanently and I have no idea how long it will be before I get out. But hey, that's the way it should be. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that regardless of how dismal things might seem, there is always hope. I really hope you and your wife can make chastity work for both of you. I know my wife wouldn't have it any other way now. Good luck.
Not fair to the dog.... If it's anything like mine it loves you wholeheartedly and without reservation... I understandthat you are joling( hopefully), and I do understand the frustration.
Have to say yours is an all too familiar story here and i for one can associate with many of the feelings you have expressed. I think it is hard to actually get a true comparison here though as we have to remember this is a site aimed at people who are into fetishes of one kind or another especially chastity, and so it actually seems more of the norm here that most other people are exploring their fantasies and having fun. In reality we are the minority and there would be many more people in the same situation as you find yourself in at the moment. I have a fantastic marriage now which allows me to explore and play out some of my fantasies but it has taken 30 plus years to reach this stage and having to allow my very vanilla wife with no real longings for anything other than a normal conservative marriage with all the usual hangups. We have raised two sons who have grown up in a stable home with nothing to alarm or cause them problems and now they have left and started families of their own my wife has allowed me to express my own desires a little more and in turn has taken some on board in our every day lives. Never despair at hearing all the tales of other peoples rampant sex lives it is a fact that many do enjoy an extremely active lifestyle but as in all things in life there is always a price to pay in some way or other and sometimes we are guilty of wishing for more when the truth is we just haven,t found the best way to extract the best from what we already have. It is good to hear from someone obviously well used to expressing themselves in a very calm and educated manner and i hope that with this in mind you continue along your quest to make both of your lives the best it can possibly be.