Who's that sniffing around?

You should NOT remain unfulfilled like him. Your pleasure, fantasies & desires comes first. Period.

 

Its funny Mistress Deborah you certainly seem to attract an array of folks into your blossoming new lifestyle dont you?. I can imagine it must be all so tempting to you as things move along in your new found role however a word of caution just in case you do decide to venture further with this or others the old well known saying about "not crapping on your own front doorstep" holds true. If this were to backfire how would it reflect on both you and phil especially that close to home! best of friends can fall out big time and if that happened in this situation how many people might get hurt in the possible fallout. Take your time it may seem like an opportunity too good to miss but maybe you are thinking with the wrong part of your anatomy at the moment?

 

Mistress Deborah
I dont know about slave's friend but i would certainly like to offer to suck slave for You on one of his release days, especially if i had to remain locked. Maybe You could choose to do that with Your new contemplated plaything.
emily

 

no one says you shouldnt or mustnt have it if you really want it that bad however just be careful WHERE you get it! you never know where its been before.
I dare say there would be hundreds of us on here beating down your door for the opportunity to be a part of breaking in the new bed but we are far enough removed from your real lives not to really pose as big a risk to you and phil.

 

Personally I do not see the problem in meeting at your place and playing around some to see how things go. I wouldnt push it into more than it needs to be but I do not see the harm in a little play. Besides, he may not like it, you may not like it, youre slave may not like it...you just never know. But, at any rate, it will give you some hands on experience and allow you to determine if its something you want to persue or not. If it is then you may possibly find an unattached sub out there that you would love to have.

As long as you and your partner are happy have fun!

Mistress Michelle

 

yes that is true enough Mistress Michelle however just as in Mobicos case whereby his wife has said if he backs out of his contract she will show his friends what he has been up to then surely with someone this close to phil already the same thing could happen should they fall out at sometime in the future (with all due respect this is quite a small area over here compared to your neck of the woods) and a few words said in anger can travel very far and quickly. Of course if you both know the risks and are prepared to take them on should it end badly then go for it otherwise maybe look for someone from outside your circle of friends and locality to test the waters first.

 

I agree that there are always risks. I know from My own experiences and how we are with people that live close by. We have never had a bad experience. I think most all people in this lifestyle understand the needs for privacy and boundries.
Sometimes you have to take the risks to enjoy what you want to try. There has to be alot of trust and communication but its worth it in the long run.
So...have the guy over for coffee and talk, get to know one another and go over all the concerns on both parts. Then make a decision that best suits both parties. I spend a great deal of time chatting, meeting and or talking on the phone ect... before I ever make a decision to take it further. Spend the time and the benifits will come thru if hes worth it.

Mistress Michelle

 

you cant argue with those words of wisdom from someone who has been there, and has the tee shirt! by the way the tee shirt looks really nice on you Mistress!

 

Who me? flirting?
you bet your sweet ****** i am

 

Hmm.

Hard to say - I'm not sure I'd know what to make of him either.

But in principle, why not?

Unfaithful of him? I don't see why. He's gay - he's not having sex with you, or anyone else (if you secure him) so he's not going to have the chance to be unfaithful --LOL! And if he's locked and his relationship with his partner won't involve his partner seeing it - well they can't really be much of an item, surely?

 

Mistress Deborah,

My take. There are risks in all new relationships, especially involving intimate acts. Trust your own judgment and feelings when moving from "cyber" to "in-person".

He is gay and that will certainly create an interesting dynamic for you and your slave. My wife's lover is not gay. He is an excellent lover. But, I am required to worship his cock and balls when he comes to our home. For some reason, he just decided that he wanted me to do this. My wife was thrilled and very aroused by it. We've often thought that having a gay playmate might be fun.

The downside I see in your description of him is his need to keep this side of himself secret from his partner. And you may find that he has a different attitude when serving you in person. You should be careful and move slowly. I would hate to hear that his partner went in to a jealous rage. Or, that your gay playmate was fun at the beginning but tired of it and became abusive himself.

It's all good. Just be careful.

marcus

 

Mistress Deborah
The question that occurs to me Mistress. Is that if slaves friend is gay. Is he more interested in submitting to You Mistress, or in playing with slave?
emily

 

ooh emily, you dont half ask some questions, im sure Mistress Deborah will look after Her slave and decide whats best for him.

 

Curtsy miss jemima
Are you telling me off miss jemima? I get all submissive when people tell me off miss jemima. & i know i've told you this before so i hope you know i'm not being sniffy or sarcastic at all.
I just thought it was an important question if it hadnt been considered before.
emily

 

Sorry for interrupting your thread, Deborah.
emily, jemima has no right to tell anyone off, even one of her peers. she will be told about this.

 

I'm with thinking cap on too. Still not quite sure, but watching this space...

 

Mistress Deborah, As I am a new member I want to tread cautiously here. One of the questions you asked was about the fidelity in his marriage. While you are in no way responsible for the decisions he makes, please take into consideration all of the grief that can come from those decisions. The 'sniffer' may or may not be totally honest with you. Perhaps his wife is unreasonable and yes should be more understanding, but his choice to cheat is never an acceptable option. If he can not bear to live within the confines of his present relationship, then he can choose to remedy that in a honorable way. By sneaking around (if this is what he is doing) it shows disrespect for his wife and family, and ultimately you...for he is drawing you into his lies and deceit. I am not trying to be the moral police here...just speaking from the other side...one who knows the depth of pain and destruction this can cause...and the collateral damage is harmful as well. Whatever his reason for wanting to stray..even if his wife is total vanilla..those are indeed his issues and he needs to work those out. He has no right to draw others into his unhappiness through cheating. If he cannot communicate his desires with this mate and reach a compromise, then he is bound by honor to stick by his original agreement until he decides to end it. Again this is not about morality, as much as it is living by the code 'consenting adults'. please forgive me if my post sounds arrogant..it is not my intent... you asked the question.."Would I want to be a part of being unfaithful to his partner?"..only you can answer that...but that word 'unfaithful' speaks volumes about his intent.

 

Mistress Deborah...first real post and foot in mouth...Glad your thinking cap is on..I did not get to your last response before i posted..just read your original...forgive me if I sounded brash or preachy...just have been there..and the pain is unbearable..peace to you.

 

Before I get to your 2nd part, lets start with the 1st part...

Mankind (as is almost every other animal on this planet) is NOT meant to be in a monogamous relationship. Polygamy is the way to preserve the species and (more importantly) the variation in the gene-pool. Scientific studies have shown that one tribe of chimps have more genetic variation amongst them than half the earths human population. Why you think this has happened? Because the human species has chosen for a monogamous relationship, while we live too long to get our variety in the gene-pool alive.

That being said, doesn't mean I agree to people cheating on others though. I am (like most) too 'loyal' to even have sex with someone I do not love or have a very good relationship with. Actually, there are only 2 women in my whole life I have had sex with. Those are my ex girlfriend (have had a 5 year relationship with her) and my wife (married for 14 years now). Of my wife I'm sure she's like me and will not cheat on me, but my ex... Well, that's mainly the reason we broke up. So I fully agree 'unfaithful' speaks volumes there...

Back to Mistress Deborah's post... Knowing he's cheating on his mate should not let you hold back on it. There's a lot of prostitutes out there (not making a reference to you here Mistress Deborah ) who know their customers are married men as well but yet they come to them for their relief.
BUT, if he wants YOU to become part of his D/s fantasy and thus build up some kind of relation, I think you should think twice and talk with him about it. This because a D/s relation involve more than just going there and get what you want. And as you already said, you wanted to chastise him right away, showing you own him (be my guest, and give his mate the other key ), while he actually is 'owned' by his mate who he's cheating on.

 

I can agree in part. What separates us from animals is the ability to choose..social norms or not..if we by agreement enter into a monogamous relationship we bear the responsibility to honor that agreement. Mistress D has already posted that they have decided not to pursue this relationship. The reasons she posted are notable in themselves, sounds like she is a very wise woman with a very good slave/partner. Your statement Reizla, "knowing he's cheating...should not hold you back...there's a lot of prostitutes out there.." The only reason prostitute offer themselves for relief is money..there only ramifications are the legal and safety issues they choose to ignore or deal with as they come. In this situation we have an individual who (as far as the info we have) is willing to sneak behind his partner's back for self gratification...and involve others in that deceit. Our animal instincts of lust do not have to be filled at the expense of harming/hurting others. If we follow this logic we lose all of our humanity...i.e, You have something I want, I lie to you to get my need, you are hurt, but it ok because my need is met. Again the morality of poly relationships is not the issue...I desire to live in such an arrangement, but even in poly there are mutual understandings and agreements for the good of the relationships.