The real feeling of Chastity

Mobico
Best of luck, hope it really works out this time.
Rita

 

M
Wow. Great news that you've connected again. What did she say about giving you days off?
SFD

 

Hi Mobi i think you are doing exactly the right thing in taking things slowly there is so much to put in place and get sorted both mentally and physically before you commit to that intensity of control again. You are in the envious position of having been there and sampled all that was good and also all that was bad of giving control to someone else over a part of our lives that most take for granted. While we all read your posts and fantasised about how great it would be to be in your shoes many i am sure were also very apprehensive at times about where it was all going to end. You are so right in that you have got time to get things right before stepping back into that place again and it truly has to be right for you both. Power does corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely so take it slowly, set limits in place and then hopefully yours can once again be a shining example of how good this lifestyle can be when everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet.

 

M
The power in negotiations comes from the willingness to say no, walk away and seek other options. If you blink you loose.

So words come to mind -
"I'm sorry you feel that way, because I'm not willing to put a hole in my dick. [ I've never given you a reason not to trust my use of the chastity device. Your control is mental. The device is almost like jewelry. ] If you change your mind, let me know."

Then just keep on looking at porn.

The words in brackets are optional - probably not needed.
SFD

 

I'm pretty sure that's because you forced her to take off the chastity belt last time by threatening to cut it off with a drill if she didn't comply.

She wants to know you're 100% "secure". It's probably not really enjoyable for her if she feels like you can get out whenever you really, really want to. I don't blame her... it can be hard for people to really immerse themselves into something if they feel like it's just a game. This applies to all forms of entertainment (movies, books, videgames, etc.)

It's just like that cage thing. She told you she really enjoyed the feeling that you were completely helpless to escape while locked in the cage in your basement, right? And she kept you there longer and longer (at least as long as she could push you).

BTW have I mentioned how amazing this all is and how jelly I am?

 

M
I agree with stroppy "Power does corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely"

Your wife didn't prove trustworthy with her dominance. She wants 24/7/365 slavery, not just submission and dominance.

Submission should be offered freely as a gift and shouldn't have to be coerced with no breaks. When a woman is vulnerable and girly feminine in a short skirt and revealing top, she offers her vulnerability because she wants to. When I kneel in submission and suck a cock I offer that freely because I want to feel submissive and dominated.

Is your avoidance of a piercing because you don't want to drip urine for the rest of your life? I think it's more. You need to be allowed down time, and that hasn't been the case. Your wife screwed up with Therisa. She put you and Therisa into an impossible situation. You have to have a safe word to trip a circuit breaker when the situation isn't working. You also need weekly down time to have a break. That's a basic human need.
SFD

 

How about giving her very compromising pictures? lol or find someone who makes a titanium belt. BTW is it really so easy to get out of a steel belt? i mean it seems like you would need some heavy duty equipment, which could be dangerous applying it to yourself.

 

Something to guarentee? thats just crazy.

You were in for over a year and only got out because of an Earth shattering experience that nearly ruined your marriage. If she can't see this then I am not sure what will make her happy.

Piercings, belts, nor any other device can guarantee anything. If she thinks that the piercing means no control on your part then she probably hasnt done her research.

The only way to guarantee anything is if she kipnaps you and locks in you a fortified cell for the rest of your life.

Your wife needs to undestand that part of this lifestyle is you giving in and accepting her terms because both of you enjoy the power exchange and not just because she thinks she is the queen of some far off kingdom that can say "off with his head" with the snap of a finger.

My wife has been recently reading this thread and she went from excited to disturbed. She feels that your wife doesnt treasure the gift you have given her.

Sorry if this post sounds like an attack on your wife. I just feel that sometimes people can get "lost" in their roles.

 

M
I agree with this wife's statement, "...your wife doesn't treasure the gift you've given her."

It's good that you're talking... Much better than "send me an email".

I think one root issue is to ask "why don't you trust me? What I'm offering you is serving you in love. Why isn't that enough? I tell you everything I've done. Why don't you trust me? Do you no longer view me as your husband?"

I fear when she left her husband for her slave, it was much too real to her.
SFD

 

M
Another thought... You said that you're wife said, "That I wanted her to control my body, but she wanted control of my thoughts and mind."

So another approach is to ask her, "you said that you want to control my thoughts and mind. So why are you so worried about controlling my physical body, chastity belt or other physical asset? Are you worried that you can't control my thoughts and mind without bribery, coercion, or blackmail? Isn't my offer and history of loving service enough trust for you?"

SFD

 

The thing that bothers me about that, is last time she didn't uphold her end of the bargain. She insisted on changing previously agreed upon terms. Simply put, I don't have that much faith in her. I would fully expect her to renege, and justify claiming default based on some circumstance that was unavoidable or contrived. Now if she were to put up an equivalent collateral, so she'd have something to lose...but now we are talking having an objective third party arbitrating, because individual's perspective will never agree.

 

M
I can refer you to a resource to describe how you can achieve legal and financial enslavement. But before I do that, please delineate what you want in the agreement, like
Two of Every 15 days you will have ...
Four weeks of every 365 days you will have ...
No sex ....
SFD

 

Hi Mobi you say you trust your wife with your limits but from the posts i read especially towards the end you were being pushed past your limits and that was possibly some of the trouble, if you had limits set beforehand they certainly increased as your wife got more and more confident and sure of herself. I can see where you are now in relation to wanting to get back into the place you have dreamt of being for so long and especially so as it was your fantasy originally. I have had to work hard to get my wife to accept my desire to be under her total control and yet even now there are times when something doesn,t seem quite right and i fight the urge to renege on the deal i think this is only human and would never be fully removed. There really is as you are well aware NO device that would prevent you getting out if the urge was great enough its impossible to achieve so what you had before was about as good as you could hope for and indeed for a long time served its purpose to every degree. The only thing that truly prevents attempting to remove the device is the knowledge that by removing it you have brought the game to a conclusion. You loved wearing it, your wife loved making you wear it everyone was a winner until you went past your limits!. If you were drawing up a list of yours and your wifes limits now they would be so much more thorough and extensive than the ones you originally set out with. I hope you can both come to a compromise and get back to where you both seemed to be happy with i for one enjoyed your experiences and hope to do so in the future. Good luck mate

 

M
From RWDDH, Head of Household
As head of the household, you control the family finances. He is required to justify his expenses to you. However, there is absolutely no need for you to explain anything whatsoever about the family finances to him. If you give him a budget, it is his duty to follow it; if you require approval for certain purchases, he must obtain such approval. You, on the other hand, are free to spend as you alone see fit whether, in your judgment, for the benefit of the family or merely for your own enjoyment. For example, if you want to buy a new car, that is your decision alone, but if he wants to purchase a new shirt, he must seek your permission.

Financial Control

If there is one thing that competes with money for influence and power, it is money. So taking control of family finances is one of the most important steps toward cementing your role as head of the household. Often it is the final step that completes the husband’s submission to the wife in marriage.

If you have any family assets (home ownership certainly qualifies) or if you have children, you should have an estate plan. That means going to see an attorney who specializes in estate planning. In this case, this is would be an attorney who can assist in arranging your family finances as discussed here. Share whatever you do in this regard with your estate-planning attorney. If you bring these things to an estate attorney, you should be prepared for them to push back; they prefer to keep to the well-worn path. It should be sufficient if you both state this is your intention. If not, find another attorney.

First, you, and you alone, should have power of attorney. This is a standard legal document and in most jurisdictions requires a notary public to validate. With a power of attorney properly executed, you can do virtually anything in your husband’s name; anything he can sign, you can sign for him just by showing that document.

Second, you should move all assets into your sole control. For bank accounts, this means removing him from the account or creating a new account in your name only and transferring the bulk of the money to it. Real property is a little more complicated but essentially you just have his name removed from the deed. If your husband works, make sure that his paycheck is direct-deposited into your account, not the shared account. If this is a new account then he will have to make the change at his work.

From now on, you provide your husband with an allowance. If he needs a credit card, it should be the one from the shared account with a low credit limit. In most cases, though, a debit card on the shared account will be sufficient. If you opt not to give him an account, you should pay his allowance in cash. In either case, you should require him to keep receipts and to provide you with a report of his expenses to the dime.

From now on, you pay all the bills from your account. If you find this tedious, you can have your husband prepare the checks for your signature, arranging things neatly and orderly and presenting them to you at a designated time and place.

Once you have control of family finances, many other things simply fall into place. He will need your permission for anything beyond his allowance and he will have to report his expenditures of his allowance. You can use his allowance as another device for punishing and rewarding him. Even when you do not feel it worth the bother to review his purchases, going through the motions sets a proper tone to the marriage.

 

M
From RWDDH Legal
Many wives (and husbands) are interested in taking things a step further with formal legal agreements. Such agreements are known as “interspousal” agreements, “spousal” agreements, or “post-nup” agreements.

The goal of these interspousal agreements is to cement and formalize the role of the wife as head of the marriage. It is my experience and belief, based on years of research and involvement with many couples, that wife-led marriages are more stable and lasting. Thus, whatever else these agreements accomplish, they will help create a stronger marriage.

While these are legal agreements, theoretically with the force of law, it is their moral force as much as their legal force which is important. Thus, there may be some clauses in an agreement which no judge would enforce but which nevertheless might have value between the wife and husband.

The general outline of the interspousal agreement is this:

The husband gives power of attorney to the wife.
The husband places all assets in the wife’s name.
The husband gives up all legal claims to make decisions either in the name of the marriage or in his own name (i.e. declares himself legally incompetent to manage his affairs).
The husband’s credit rating/history is severed such that he cannot operate financially on his own (e.g. voluntarily submit report to credit rating agencies to achieve this effect) becoming a dependent for all practical purposes.
If the husband is earning a salary, then that salary is deposited directly into a bank account controlled by the wife. The wife has power to demand this directly of his employer.
In cases of a new marriage, the husband will often take the wife’s surname.

In return, the husband is assured by the interspousal agreement that the wife will not/cannot leave him or divorce him. He is assured that the marriage will remain intact in its present form until death. Thus, the wife may be penalized if she initiates divorce without a demonstratable cause such as the husband’s infidelity.

Today I got my first taste of the delicious embarrassment of wifedom. I had to deliver a payroll form directing the payroll office to electronically deposit my checks to my wife’s new account. It had to be accompanied by a voided check with her signature, which I removed from my wallet and handed to the woman in the office. “This is your wife’s account?” she asked. “Yes” I answered, as matter-of-factly as possible. “You understand this means you don’t have access to your money,” she said. I felt uneasy, but simply said, “Yes. Is there anything else you need?” “No, that’s all,” she said and turned and walked toward the secretary. As I opened the door to leave, she leaned down at the other woman’s desk and said, “I thought I’d seen everything”.

Attorney in New York:

T.J. Caruso, Esq (TLlawyer@live.com)

 

Mobico, I don't know if you have thought about it yet, but one idea to kinda "coerce" you into not escaping your belt could be the threat of never playing with orgasm denial and chastity again. It might not make your wife happy, but the threat of her never locking you up again might be enough of an incentive to keep you from cutting your way out. Especially since you would essentially be taking something your wife enjoys away from her.

The problem you might face is if you ever get to that point again where you were willing to cut the cage off you won't really care about the consequences whatever they might be. There was a book about women making men "nonconsensual" slaves through blackmail, but I dont know if you are willing to go that route or do like sfm suggested, and put all your assets and give your wife power of attorney over you.

 

M
You said, "I just want to be in a situation where I put the power of an orgasm in her hands, and get her to own me.  I always get that 'do I want a safety net?'.  And after being through the past year..No..I don't want one.  I want to lock out all possible ways out.  No Spare key, no out when I ask, no out when I demand.  I trust her with my limits, and I know she won't go beyond them."

If your wife holds all your money, assets and power of attorney, then I think that satisfies your statement above. The chastity device is secondary. You will be financially and legally enslaved.
SFD

 

M
I'd suggest starting with a 11-month contract including desired boundaries. I wouldn't mess with real estate ownership, only get rid of joint checking account, direct deposit your pay check into an account with only your wife's name. You cut up all your credit cards. If you need a card, you can get a debit card in your name that draws on a joint account in which she transfers $ from her private account. I'm not sure you need to give a power of attorney, although if it can be limited to 11-months, it would be a nice touch.

What do you think?
SFD

 

Hi Mobico.
AMAZING journey! That said, being 40something myself with better than 25 years of kink under my belt, I think you need to realize that you and your Lovely have "crossed the rubicon". I also think that since it was she who instigated the Theresa event that she did not really dislike it as much as she led you to believe...did you ever consider that she wanted an egregious outcome to give her the fuel to ramp up her level of punishment and discipline? I quiste honestly had it in my mind that you were and are, in my opinion destined to be that guy on his knees fellating another man like you saw at that party. You say you don't want that but the adrenaline rush would tell your psyche otherwise.
Anyway...enough of that. I read way back that you were in a Loris 12B. Is that still the case? We want to upgrade up to a more secure metal device. Your device looks very "open" as opposed to the cb6ks. I would love to know your thoughts.
Thanks!

allaboutHer