Chastity for us both

So heres the story.

My GF and I have been together for 7 years. Something has kept us from getting married. I have been married twice before and she has been married once. I'm 40 she's 43. We live with two kids from her previous marriage.

Our sex life and life in general has had its share of ups and downs, mostly downs as of late. She recently told me she was interested in staying chaste until we are married. This was due to her religious faith. I was upset at first and looked at it very selfishly. How could she do this to me?

In time I came to realize I had replaced her in my mind with porn and masturbation. I was jerking off to porn 2-4 times a day. Our sexual frequency was down to about once a month and it wasnt that great.

I realized I was addicted to porn. I needed help. I have started attending SAA meetings. I know I have a problem.

I have also started my own chastity using a CB6000s. I have started a program of periodic releases that I hope to make less and less frequent. So far my GF has shown little interest in being a KH but I am hopeful. I need to get used to 24/7 in the device. Then maybe she can be the KH. It's all a little weird to her.

I need to point out that this journal is not likely to have a lot of sex in it anytime soon. It will be more about my chastity and my relationship with my GF. I will be recounting my experiences going forward so enjoy.

Feedback is welcomed and encouraged.

 

Did 18 hours in chastity today. Wore it to bed and to work. Wasnt to bad.

I also had a release today. I went 3 days without orgasm. I masturbated to a pair of my GFs pants, ones she had worn to the gym. The smell was so amazing and I fantasizes it was her sitting on my face.

I felt a little guilty cunning.

I have committed to no porn so I am using her as my only source of stimulation.

Tonight I asked her how long I should go to the next release. She suggested 5 days. This is progress. I am hoping a few times from now I can hand her the keys. I think the day she takes the keys will be incredibly powerful. At that point I will no longer have control of my penis or my orgasms. A dream come true.

 

So my GF saw my cb6ks for the first time this morning before our trip to Charleston. She said she couldn't look at it but in time would prob get used to it. This was deflating and inspiring all at the same time.

I locked up all night, removed it for a shower this morning and relocked. Will try to make it all day for my first 24 hour stint however we are going to the beach. Not sure it wont show there.

I can say that peeing sitting down is somewhat awkward but I'm getting used to it.

We also discussed me moving out until we are married. Not really financially possible right now and I worry we might drift apart. If that happens I will def want her to be my KH

Thoughts ?

 

Yes !! My GF and I just had a nice talk. She agreed to hold the key once I am 24/7 with weekly releases. I cannot say how happy this makes me and I think she is happy about the prospect. I know I am. That moment of handing her the key ....wow. That will be amazing. Having a great time in Charleston with my KH to be

 

Awake with a pulling sensation in my balls. Nothing a little lube inside the ring and a qtip can't fix. Spooning my KH (I can almost call her that now yes ) is really awesome. I have to admit though to wanting to let my hands drift all over her as she sleeps but I have been good.

Keep having dreams of the day a few days from now when this lockup will end and she gets the keys for the next 7 days. What a rush that will be. I only wish I could serve her orally to show my appreciation but I am totally respecting and in awe of her chastity pledge until marriage. Once we are married I am going to have a sore tongue and that's a good thing

I'm thinking of asking her if he wants to watch me get my release just so there is no cheating.

For the keyholders reading this is this something you do when your man does get a release?

Alright going to try to get a little more sleep beside my beautiful GF!!

 

So I went 32 hours locked up which was a new record. Those little holes on the side of the cage were killing me and they left three little red spots. I put some tape over them but I think what I really need to do is seal them with epoxy or superglue. Tape on the inside leaves rough edges. Tape on the outside leaves a little space for your
Skin to push up into. Solution? Seal the holes completely.

My problem is I'm a little big for the cb6ks. I am a full 7" when erect so when excited in the tube it hurts. I have been playing around with the rings and locking pins. I am using the largest ring and the second longest pin. I don't want my penis to expand at all if possible. That cuts down on the rubbing and chafing.

My GF is slowly getting used to it. I was out of chastity for most of yesterday since I was by her side (her suggestion). When I asked her to remind me to put it on the moment we got home (home is where I am most likely to cheat) she even offered to drive the last bit so I could put it on in the car if I needed to. She wants me to succeed in curbing my urges and I think she likes the changes she sees in me.

I gave her a nice foot massage last night right before bed. She always asks if I will and I told her she doesnt need to ask just hand me the lotion and tell me to get to work.

I gave her a big pep talk at dinner the other night about her job. I told her how easily she could have her bosses ( males) eating out of the palm of her hand. She could move way up in the company by asserting her dominance and femininity. Men are weak and a beautiful powerful woman will put us in our place everytime. I could see some lightbulbs going off. It was like she had never really thought about it. God I love her!!

 

The countdown is on. I have a out a day and a half till my next scheduled release. After that I am going for a 7 day denial (one week). I haven't one a week without orgasm since I started becoming sexually active (30 years). I fully anticipate doing it although 5 days has led me to contemplate masturbating quite a bit. Still I know this is the way for me and I'm not giving up.

The really big question happens once I hand the key to my GF. I have been self locking with her knowledge but this will be different. I will not be able to get out without her help. Talk about accountability!!

I worry a little about safety issues but she will hide a spare in the house.

I'm very excited and nervous.

Then what happens a week from now when I asked to be released for an orgasm? Will she say yes? Will I ask her if she thinks I deserve it?

I am kind of thinking though that she may need to release me each morning for cleaning because I do not fully trust cleaning while still in the tube. Just not sure that's very sanitary especially given the fact I fill it up.

Still all day long she will have the only access to my penis and there will be nothing I can do about it.

What a journey this could be...

 

Thanks Spider
I know how you feel. My GF is still not totally comfy. She just thinks I can stop masturbating. Once i told her its like telling a crack addict to walk around all day with crack and not touch it she understood. I can't get away from my addiction as easily since its attached to me at all times

You are right about just handing over the key. I'm really nervous about the whole process. I want to still have some orgasms but that's the addiction talking. I just worry I'll hand it over and she will forget without a schedule.

What I had kind of kicked around was giving her the key, setting a one week timer and then at the end of the week asking her if she thought I deserved to cum. I have no idea what she will say each week.

 

So I wrote a short handwritten note to my GF explaining that i am giving her control of the keys.

I wrote that it's more about the mental aspect as I am giving her control at least physical control over the porn and masturbation that kept me from being closer to her.

I also mentioned that if she wants to release me she can if she thinks I have earned it. If not then that's fine too.

I can honestly say a year or even 6 months ago I would never have been able to take such a step. Giving someone control over your genitals? I know many here take that fact as a given but it's a big step especially for me given my history. However I realize that I have had no self control over my genitals and that is what has led me here.

I'll keep you posted on her reaction

She has been asking more about chastity of late. I think due to the changes she has seen in me she is curious now. That's progress.

God I love this woman.

 

Good points Spider.

I have been really helpful around the house of late. I have also given her plenty of foot massages as well. She loves those. I have been doing lots of little things.

Still the thought of firing up some porn and rubbing one out has occurred to me a out 500 times over the last couple weeks. If she has the key I cannot act on those impulses.

I'm not even sure I care about orgasming anymore. Without her getting hers I don't think I would feel right about an orgasm.

Still the porn is a temptation for me.

How to keep it fresh? I have literally two decades under my belt of being a selfish bad husband and a bad boyfriend. That's going to take awhile to reprogram and rectify. My GF will be the recipient of my new behaviors.

 

Like today.

I made the bed, cleaned out the gutters, swept the porch, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, vacuumed the downstairs and steps, put away her clothes, bought new phone chargers, got my car inspected and renewed my registration and paid the mortgage.

Normally I would have done maybe 1-2 of those things and masturbated the rest of the time.

No orgasms rock

 

Well it didnt go as planned with my GF. In fact we had a fight about key holding.

The details aren't really that important but it's fair to say I have fallen of the chastity wagon. I haven't been locked for 3 days now although I miss it.

Self locking is not really what I desire. I realize my submissiveness needs an active keyholders and someone to control my orgasms. I am not sure that will ever be my GF which means I have some decisions to make.

Many of the relationships on this board are between married couples. That is part of our problem but how do I marry someone that will not allow me to be who I truly am?

I am not sure where to go from here but I am seeing a sex therapist this week. I have some unresolved issues and I need to speak with someone who can help me work through them. I hope it helps.

 

Thank you for the suggestion Mistress B. I think such parties are held nearby as I live near a fairly large city

Anyone have any good links for finding these parties?

 

Well I am back in my CB6ks.

I am beginning to finally realize, GF or not, that this is who I am.

I have been submissive my whole life but have been afraid to show it. Chastity is a natural outgrowth of that submission.

If my current GF is not ok with this part of me then I must find someone else who is. I cannot live a lie anymore.

I am a tangled up ball of emotions. I am planning to leave this relationship unless something changes soon. I am desperate and my GF cannot/will not help me. I understand her reasons but I cannot accept them.

I'm going for one full week w/o orgasm. I had my first ruined orgasm the other day and I ate my cum. I have to say the thought of only ruined orgasms going forward makes me less interested in cunning. I have been reading up on the subject and am
curious to see what it will do to my desires.

I need help. I am sexualizing every woman I see. It's horrible. It's often women I wouldn't even e attracted to.

I hope this therapist can help me.

 

Wow alot has happened.

Saw the therapist and she asked some great questions.

My GF told me the cb6ks kind of freaked her out. Noted. I have been practicing a sort of on your honor chastity with mixed results. I have been measuring chastity in days not weeks.

anyway our relations have been up and down.

Last night was a break through of sorts.

I have been massaging her pretty much every night. Last night it led to me going down on her until she came. It was really good for her. Afterwards she had me rubbing up and down her ass cheeks with my cock. It felt amazing. I wasn't really that close to orgasm at all. Finally she said "that's enough we're done for now ."

I thought I had died and gone to heaven. The fact she had taken control of my orgasm was amazing. I almost came from her saying that

I don't know if this will lead to a more female dominated relationship or not but I am hopeful. It's a start right?

I should also say that we wrestled and she actually won A fall. Lol. I want to say i let her win but I didn't lol

 

So tonight marks one week of on your honor chastity. I feel like I could cum a gallon. I have not gone a week since I was 12. It's been difficult with lots of ups and downs. There have been days I have been at peace and many days when I have felt like punching the wall and im not a violent person at all.

No orgasms has really been messing with my mind.

I saw a post on Elise Suttons page about a schedule of orgasms. It starts slow and gradually works out to more and more time.
I have a nice set of timers I downloaded to my phone an I'm going to use them to make the next denial period.

I'm going for 10 days. After that 2 weeks and so on. Not sure if I'll hit a sweet spot or time between orgasms or not but I can't see myself giving them up completely.

My GF had a huge fight the other day and then it was like everything was ok. Weird. I'm planning to ask her if she wants to watch me or help me tonight as I hit my one week goal. I told her how sexy it was when she stopped me from doing anything else the other night. I can only hope for a repeat of tonight.

I plan on massaging her and will go down on her if she wants it.

Imagine if she tells me to wait another few days, a week, etc. That would be unreal and a huge step for her.

I def plan to ask her for permission to cum tonight. This is a baby step I know but she's thinking I want her to be some sort of dominatrix. I really just wish she would take control of my orgasms for both our sakes. I'm not sure if she ever will or not. Tonight will be one more test I suppose.

Almost forgot to mention. I made a list of chores I want to accomplish. My GF said once I finish the list she would give me a blowjob. She's never tied sex to tasks before so maybe it's progress in a weird sort of way? In no way shape or form did I suggest or hint at a sexual favor for doing these things. It was all her idea. Women. I will never understand them but I do love them.

 

Wow

So my one week deadline came.

I had just finished giving my GF a massage. For an hour, I rubbed her feet, calves, knees, thighs, butt, back, shoulders and arms. I recently read a book on massage and learned some techniques. She really loves my massages more than she likes a professional massage. It was a great night.

She asked if I needed her help to get off.

I said I would love that.

Due to her chastity vow, she got on top of me but I did not penetrate her. She started rubbing herself on my cock. I was hard as a board. I teased her about slipping it inside her. It was really erotic for both of us.

Finally we separated and she got out her vibrator. She wanted to get off while watching me use my hand.
She even teased herself a couple of times with the vibe.

Finally she had a massive orgasm. Her eyes rolled back in her head and her back arched. It was so beautiful to watch.

I was right behind her. All the frustration of the past week came gushing out of me. My orgasm was super strong and I came alot. If I had to guess it was several teaspoons at least 3-4 times my normal amount. My GF was really impressed and talked about how hot it was to watch.

It was a great night.

The best part is that we shared it and now she has bet me she can go for 10 days without orgasm as well. Sort of MAster of our domains. How awesome. She did tell me to hide the vibrator. Lol.

I don't know where this is leading but it's kind of exciting.

I don't know how 10 days will feel. 7 days was really tough.

We shall see.

One side note. While massaging my GF she let out a little fart. My nose happened to be near her ass. I inhaled deeply and loved it. Where has this been all my life? She laughed and eventually was able to push out another one for me. I don't know if it was because I was so horny or not but it really turned me on. Lol.