This question of "do I need to use a device or not" has been battered a lot but my realization in this last week of our current journey has given me a new understanding of why a device is imperative to us. As humans we cannot help ourselves but sin on an ongoing basis even though we do not want to... As a type A, highly sexual male I used to masturbate as much as I wanted to, whenever I wanted to, and this hurt our relationship more than I knew. When we tried chastity before it was really "on my terms" and this hurt our experience more than I knew. When we went into it this time, it was "I will permanently give up my orgasms for my wife's pleasure only". My realization this week was that if I still knew or believed that next week, next month, tomorrow an orgasm was possible or likely - I think I may actually be able to hang in there and wait and not go pleasure myself, but knowing this time round that there is NO orgasm on the cards - ever - and realizing how weak I really am as a human, there is NO way that if I never had some physical assistance or barrier to playing with myself (a REALLY GOOD device), that I would not fall into my sinful nature and masturbate when I felt the urge. So for me and for us - Permanent Orgasm Denial means permanent Chastity and this means a really good, really secure permanent Device has to be in play! The so called "honor system" as much as I wish would work - cannot for me.... Just being honest here.
I am glad someone else agrees with what I have said in the past, if a man can then he will, some on this forum the what an horendous sin to cheat with yourself group and lie to your wife/kh will say you are weak and a secure device/cage is not nessesary. I know from my own expieriance a man will not keep his hands off his penis unless there is a barrier to stop him. I know I will get a shit load of abuse from some on this forum, some people lie to themselves and believe there own lies.
Some people need the device and some don't. You can practice chasity without a device if your will is strong enough. The cage is more symbolic then anything. I could get the keys now while house is empty rub one out. Without a piercing you can pull out the back. Worst case the cage can be vibrated to get off if you're that desperate. In end everyone talks this she's in charge game but can't not cum or play with yourself when she says not to. Either she's actually in charge and you listen or she's not and you don't. Not much grey area there really. That's the real lie most tell themselves.
lol, a christian wanker. That's a lot of words to say "I am a weak man, nothing but a habitual wanker, and have no self control" Sort yourself out. You are supposed to be a grown man and you can't keep your hands over your little penis. If you love chastity and denial, as I do, then accept that, don't make excuses and don't claim to be a victim of any kind. Take responsibility for your actions and don't abdicate responsibility to others. Just own it, don't pretend it is an excuse for something. I like being locked and denied, it turns me on, and I enjoy the feeling of it. And that is okay.
Christian or not - men are all wankers - just own that.... And actually I have owned my "weakness" - that's exactly why I said "for us" I need a device. That does not mean I don't like being locked and denied - I love it. The point I was making is it may be easier to live without a device when you have NOT agreed to no orgasms - ever - but since I have committed to no orgasms ever - my reality is I wear a device 24/7/365....
@BBCS2PA Schön, dass Sie Ihre Gedanken mit uns teilen. Das Behind the Barz ist wirklich sehr sicher. Wenn eine Herrin beschließt, den Sub dauerhaft keusch zu halten, kommt sie verdammt nah dran. Mit der PA-Variante verschärft. Nun etwas Offtopic: Interessant. So wie ich es sehe, gibt es in jedem Forum einen Jay, der zu allem seinen provokativen Pfiff beisteuern muss. Ich hatte vor Jahren in einem europäischen Forum viel Spaß mit einem davon. Quintessenz war eine Schreibgrenze. Das wurde nebenbei erwähnt. Zum einen sagt er Folgendes: „Nehmen Sie sich zusammen. Sie sollten ein erwachsener Mann sein und dürfen Ihre Hände nicht über Ihren kleinen Penis lassen.“ und andererseits: „Ich mag es, eingesperrt und zurückgewiesen zu werden, es macht mich an und ich genieße das Gefühl. Und das ist in Ordnung.“ Natürlich kann man es mögen, eingesperrt zu sein, aber anderen vorzutäuschen, man sei geistig in der Lage, im Ehrensystem zu leben und dann einen Keuschheitsgürtel zu tragen? Unter Geschlecht schreibt er weiblich, also was ist er jetzt? Solange er einen Schwanz hat und dieser in einen Keuschheitsgürtel gewickelt ist, ist er wahrscheinlich männlicher. Trans wäre eine Möglichkeit, aber ich zähle dieses Beispiel nicht dazu. Sollte dies jedoch der Fall sein, müsste Lucy die Geschlechtsauswahl verbessern.
Yeah, it'll be the predictable points from the same folk. Most of this forum can't seem to understand that there is difference between obedience and bondage and just assume the goal of orgasm denial is the same for everyone.
I agree, it seems it the same people every time that has a really hard time understanding that not everybody is identical. But I very much agree with the OP on this topic. I am NOT saying that anybody is WRONG, but I am saying that people are DIFFERENT!
My Wife won't let me get a P.A. (and from reading about the practical considerations on this site I've sort of soured on the idea myself) and thus I can pull out and rub one out any time I want to. But I haven't in 30 months. For me, the cage helps so much, even though it's not secure at all. Like a wedding ring, it's there as much to remind me as anything else. I feel its tug. I get to look at it several times a day. I get to think about the secret I have under my clothes when I'm around others, or when I give someone a hug. And all of that helps me stay true to my commitment. So, it's not an issue of "gotta have one" or "they're useless and you're fooling yourself". For me, it provides a very useful middle road that my chastity journey follows. (Full disclosure: I AM investigating a glans ring retainer from BAWR.) And, of course, everyone is different!! Peace!
I dont beleive a word of what you say, all men are wankers and I say that as a man, If I can get at it I will do the deed. I know the usual group will shout me down but I say it as it is.
Someone has a victim hood complex. Believe it or not some of us can not touch ourselves every chance they're given.