Anyone who has seen my post knows we are about as vanilla as a couple could be. Ann has almost completed menopause; she has not completely lost her sex drive, but it has diminished a lot. Ann and I have been friends since we were 14 years old, and we have been married for about 10 years now. Chastity started, like most, my idea, and no doubt she started this with me for me and not her. Like most wives, she thought it was a crazy thing to do, but she will admit now she likes having it. I love holding Ann, and she enjoys me touching her even when she isn't in the mood for anything else, and the cage keeps my erection from getting in the way of our soft intimacy. I am thankful that Ann still enjoys PIV occasionally and not all against it. However, I can feel permanent becoming more and more. I am a little nervous about it becoming permanent because I really enjoy being inside her. She is the absolute love of my life. We are down to an average of 3 times a month, but who is counting, LOL......ME. I don't think permanent is something she is intentionally setting up; I can feel it as my time in chastity keeps increasing a little at a time. If I had to guess, I would say in the next 12 months; She will likely have us with PIV about every month and a half. I hate mercy sex, so I prefer her to decide. She does sometimes allow me to come in my cage. Time will tell, and I am going to allow Ann to decide. I will enjoy pleasing her in any way that I can. Ann has told me she enjoys the cage on me, and I can see her comfort now having a chaste husband. We have been playing with our chastity stuff for almost 3 years, I think. Ann has gotten much more serious about it in the last 6 months, and what I mean is using it for what she needs and not just playing a game with me. Husbands, be careful about what you wish for. If a couple doesn't give up this life, being impatient with each other, it will become something she won't want to quit. Overall, I am glad we kept it going; we have had our moments when we just wanted to give up keeping me in chastity. However, I realize our old normal likely won't work anymore for us, so that is probably what keeps this life alive with us. I can see problems in a marriage increasing if we were to stop this life now after being thoroughly introduced to what it brings to our marriage. Chastity gives me an outlet to find a different kind of pleasure over PIV, and I don't want to be a burden to her, always wanting intercourse when her body doesn't want it. I don't want anyone but my Ann, no matter what. One last thing: I would never cheat on Ann; I just love her too much. She knows I have a very strong sex drive; she says she knows I would never cheat on her. Personally, I like being caged while I am at work and away from her because, with my job, it would be very easy for me to be a pig and cheat. The cage gives her peace, whether she will admit that or not, and I like that. I don't ever want her even to wonder what if. I lived like that for a long time with my first wife, wondering what if she was cheating and it is a horrible way to make your spouse live. I'll never have that with Ann. I love and care about her being comfortable and confident in our marriage. I do believe there are unseen forces out there that love to tear marriages apart; I've lived it in my past. I welcome any responses or similar situations you guys are living, you know, so I can feel normal, LOL. John
Very relatable and thought out post once again. After my most recent events, this really stood out to me: We tried some freedom and my wife (enjoying rather frequent sex) got despondent with my behaviour and decided I should be locked again. Her words, “I hate that you ever introduced the cage, I was happy not knowing any different”… Her frustrations quickly settled once I was caged again and she began to demand her nightly foot and back rubs. Still, it was a pause for thought ‘what if?’ moment of ever I’ve had one. Our old normal simply doesn’t work for her anymore… but would it have worked if we didn’t introduce the cage? Who knows.
I wish there was a simple way for key holding wives to talk and become somewhat friends without all the trash of the internet discouraging vanilla wives from taking. I think it would help like couples.
Wow, such a loving and thoughtful post. You really opened up and shared something beautiful, if not ideal for you at this time. Thank you! I recognize so much of our own marriage and chastity journey in your post. It's uncanny, like you've been observing us. Three years for us, too (this being our second attempt at it). And yes, it's looking like it's going permanent - sort of one day at a time. I've been orgasm-free for a lonnnng time now. She's has a hysterectomy, so instant menopause. My Wife pretty much isn't into sex with me, or sex at all. As far as I can tell, She doesn't masturbate much. (I wish Her as many orgasms as She wants, and would feel submissively happy to know that, while She denies me, She gets off a lot.) I have a strong sex drive, and She didn't like my masturbation. Now I view it as cheating. And yes, I love Her so much. I want Her never to feel like I'm not securely Hers. I wear the device 24x7 for weeks at a time. Sometimes She commands me to take it off, otherwise, I would only take it off for medical reasons. I don't think we're ever going back to vanilla. In our case, chastity is part of my commitment to changing my behavior and treating Her and myself with kindness and patience. (See my bio if you want the details.) I also hate mercy sex (I call that "a pity orgasm"). And I, too, don't bug Her for sex. All I'd get is a chance to masturbate, anyway. My second-to-last orgasm, She sent me off to masturbate by myself. Chastity is part of our plan to get back to PIV sex. Her stated intention is to get her libido back somewhere out of the basement and have PIV with me. One other thing: unlike what I hope is the norm around here, I don't get to please my Wife with my mouth or hands. I don't get to feel the incredible frustration of seeing a woman's love center right there, and hearing her as she enjoys sexual pleasure. I don't get to provide that pleasure. I am pretty much cut off. When people hear that, some get really pretty mean and obnoxious about it. They tell me that cannot work, that the marriage is doomed to failure. That without sex, things will just fall apart. That is complete BS and I'm here as proof, not having had PIV for maybe about 15 years. Indeed, like you, I love my Wife with all my heart and soul. I want sex, of course, but not at the cost of Her feelings. I will stay chaste until She wants sex, and that may never happen. So yes, brother, we are on nearly parallel paths. There's nothing wrong with our situations, though they could be more sexually rewarding. But there's more to life than sex, and finding one's soul mate and falling so deeply in love makes it possible to give up sex in exchange. "Nine out of ten" is better than most couples ever achieve. Peace, everyone.
I would love to hear more about your experience if you would be willing to share a bit more. Your choice, of course. Peace!
And you, sir, as well. I would love to hear more about your experience if you would be willing to share a bit more. Your choice, of course. Peace, all!
You can read about us here: https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...be-way-to-get-more-women-into-chastity.49979/ And feel free to ask any questions or share parallels you have experienced. In the context of having @John&Ann's comment: "I wish there was a simple way for key holding wives to talk and become somewhat friends without all the trash of the internet discouraging vanilla wives from taking. I think it would help like couples." My wife has an account here but I don't think has checked in in quite a while. My wish is for there to be value to her of meeting other women here who have husbands who have similar desires and approaches to all of ours. We are genuinely trying to navigate life, marriage, differences between men and women, masculine and feminine. And add playfulness and getting each other's desires met. I have learned so much here, and love this forum and the people on it. She has questions, fears, overcoming taboos and feelings of not deserving. I often think it would be helpful to have other women to confirm that "yes, really...he wants to be locked up, he wants you to have as much pleasure, goodness, and great things in life that you want, he wants you to be selfish and at the same time keep him horny and aching for you"...you know, all the stuff we all desire. I wonder if a third party could help accelerate the acceptance and sharing of ideas and confirmation? But to each their own, she has her way and pace of discovering herself, her desires, and how I fit into them. Cheers!
This post is such a great example of the realities of this life, and how it can truly impact a relationship. I wish the best for both of you, sounds like you are on an awesome journey together. For all the negative things out there this post really shows how love can be a huge part of this life.