Do we actually desire intercourse?

It is a complex subject, but while I haven't experienced PIV often, I didn't particularly enjoy it when I did. This may have been the result of always using a condom, and frequent masturbation.

I only ejaculated once during PIV; I hadn't masturbated or experienced orgasm in a long time, and it was a boring pleasureless orgasm.

I could fuck for a long time, which resulted in it being more work than fun. I strove to give my female partners as much pleasure as possible, i.e. high orgasm count, usually. My hands and mouth were much more effective than my penis, more often than not; women often requiring direct clitoral stimulation.

So, no I don't desire PIV at this point in my life.

Years ago I knew a couple that lived together for seven years, and they had sex, but never PIV. He was a virgin, in his forties I believe, and she was in her early twenties; she had had PIV once with one man before him. They separated after the seven years together.

 

Yes, I love sex with my wife. We have awesome sex! My being in chastity is about her having control and picking the where and when. I love all aspects and manners of sex. But no I have no desire to significantly limit PIV. She would be very disappointed if I felt that way.

 

I guess each relationship is different and some couples have a different “meeting of the minds “ as far as what constitutes as rejection if one was to express the lack of desire to have sex with their partner. I really don’t think there is a right or wrong . That being said it funny how if I was to show lack of desire to have sex with her she also wouldn’t like it but at the same time I find it erotic that she wants me locked sometimes and thoroughly enjoys speaking her mind sometimes and says she rather have her viberator dildo than my penis on some occasions and I’m good with that. I guess that’s the “meeting of the minds “ I find that every couple finds that works for them. I also feel similar to you.

 

Timely post for me. I came to the realization that intercourse ala PIV, is no longer that attractive to me. maybe age, I'm 64, and everything works but I just don't show much interest in it. Handies and blow jobs yes, I think about that 24/7

 

Very interesting thread.

I value sexual compatibility and satisfaction as a core requirement of a relationship. I've neglected that in the past and will never make that mistake again.

That said, I've gone through my whole adult life feeling over whelmed by the expectations of intercourse with a partner and feeling something bordering anxiousness when having a relationship due to my (rightly so) held belief of my inability to be a great intercourse lover.

What I have now is a relationship built on emotions, trust and communication, and that has enabled me to leave behind those woes because although we do have intercourse, it's not viewed in our relationship as it being my "role" to provide satisfaction through intercourse. As you'll read in my other posts, we have realised this is a task best left to other men. (not I say other men, not another man. We have no desire for her to have a long term bf etc).

Sex is a bit like a blow job. Men do it because it's expected of them....

 

Nope. I don't do blow jobs

Sex is wonderful. Hard to survive without it.