Hey, while me and my lovely wife wait for another testing cage to come, we are playing a bit with orgasm control. On an honor system I am not allowed to cum without her permission (really not easy since I used to masturbate several times a day) and our sessions usually consist of me licking and vibrating her to orgasm and then maybe getting some attention with tease and denial. She is all new to all this but luckily very open minded so we discuss everything after every session, what I liked, what was too much, what I would like to do differently. I try to give her some inspirations but at the same time try to be aware not to top from the bottom. Every session she exceeds my expectations and it really seems she likes to tease and deny me every time going a bit deeper. Last night I asked her if I can cum and was told "No" so I asked what would happen if I fail to contain myself. She only told me that I would have to clean (eat) the mess which is the usual thing with every orgasm so that kinda does not count. Then she did not know what would the punishment could look like. She cant lock me for a longer time since we are looking for the correct size although she can make the period till next orgasm longer, but that still does not suffice. Could you think of any punishment that would not be "extreme". She's still new to all this so things like kicking balls etc are way too much for her. She doesn't like the idea of pegging () and even tho we explore things like a riding crop or a flogger that she gave me for our wedding anniversary, she does not use them that much so far. We discussed that last time and she is open to use them, she just need to conquer the initial fear of using them. Thanks for any suggestion.
to make you aware of your fault, she could keep you in Pantyhose and a restrictive girdle day and night for a prolonged period of time without teasing.
It would not be punishment if you relish it to be dished out so much so you might intentionally break the rule to be punished.. and i believe most suggestions will be erotic in nature from many who want them being inflicted onto themselves.. im keeping an eye too..
Thanks for the suggestion, we are not into cross dressing tho. Also we have two young kids so it needs to stay hidden from prying eyes.
Good suggestion, I was thinking about that one myself, gag in on the way already so now we only need to try that.
What about you having to have a large dildo in your ass for as long as she wants. You'll walk a little slower and feel it.
You can’t force a ‘punishment’. Everything she will do will probably be erotic in nature and ultimately you’ll enjoy it. It has to come from her. She has to be annoyed and she has to want to teach you a lesson. You don’t want her to allow you to cum, she may not see that as a problem, more a bit of fun. My wife has just started with punishments to correct behaviour. So far I’ve received two. The first was my inability to stop ‘topping from the bottom’ as it seems to be known as these days. I made suggestions, Told her what I wanted etc. she used a ruler on my ass. We bought it knowing paddles and floggers don’t really hurt that much (she’s not that skilled) She’d told me that it would be in the same place so it really hurt… the second strike missed the first. I said “I thought you were doing them all in the same spot” Her reaction was incredible “are you kidding me right now? I’m punishing you for telling me what to do and now your telling me how to spank you!”. I honestly regretted what she had done when she had finished. She even asked why I didn’t tell her to stop… I replied that I was worried to say anything which was true. It even corrected the behaviour as I genuinely worried and thought twice about doing the same things. However, when she was done I realised I was dripping everywhere and my balls were painful from the excitement. I absolutely loved her attitude while doing it. It was genuine. The second time she did it was because we’d invested in a cane. She basically made up some reasons to cane me. More of a sex act than a punishment. It still hurt but it wasn’t like before. Her heart wasn’t in it as she didn’t have reason to be. Basically, my advice would be to establish what her rules actually are and don’t lead it. Then she’ll have genuine reason to punish you if you fuck up. When she has a genuine reason, she’ll have a genuine punishment. You’ll genuinely regret it.
I understand it and completely agree with you. The reason I am asking is not to tell her what to do when she wants to punish me, I just want to give her a list of posibilities or inspirations to choose from and to inspire her for creating her own ideas. She is still very vanilla since we are at the beginning and still exploring what works for us.
Then my advice would be… buy lots of punishment stuff. Kali’s teeth. Bondage candle Cane Clamps Lock in butt plug. Cock shaped ball gag. Put it all in a bag with anything else you have. Tell her it’s your gift to her and all you need in return is a list of rules to follow… she may never use them. But they’re options to keep you in line. Honestly, not sure how you get it out of your wife. This isn’t our first attempt at chastity by all means, my wife was pretty vanilla although she was adventurous in what I asked her. Chastity was her biggest dislike as she didn’t like to lead in the bedroom. From starting this period of chastity; to mean “no” took 17 days, within a month she’s changed to full control with punishments.
I like this idea a lot. I already ordered some (clamps, punish wheel, ...) but I may need to order a bit more. Thanks for the idea.
I wouldn't look at it as a time to punish someone if they made you orgasm. She could further amuse herself though and overstimulate you if that is her thing... but if she causes you to orgasm, I feel like that is on her. Now if you didn't give her warnings or signs that you were going to orgasm & she asked you to that's another story....
It's more like "I forbid you to cum and want to tease you (cause she can do whatever she wants) so you better contain yourself" type of game.
Yeah, same thing man. At some point it is like telling someone not to breathe... they are gonna pass out and start breathing.
My question is kind of off topic but not too much. My wife and KH is trying to get over the fact that she feels guilty for punishing me. For example, I told her the other day that my sleep has been terrible lately because of the four to five erection I get every night. As many of you know erection are painful at night and wake you up. She doesn’t like the fact that her actions (keeping me caged) has led to my discomfort. I told her I enjoy the discomfort and not to worry. I want her to get over this feeling of guilt for causing me discomfort. Matter of fact I wouldn’t mind a little punishment now and then. What have you done in your journey of male chastity to overcome this obstacle?
Maybe you need to get over it... Where it is a decision that she is making. To explain more, maybe you should just let her unlock you at night and put the thing back on every morning. Do you know how much stress you are putting her under? Maybe you guys need to compromise here.
If you havent been accustomed to wearing overnite, remove it as per her concerns. Im not sure about the type of cage you are wearing, but you can opt for the hinged type of ring which you can remove it and replace with a strap over your waist during sleep only and reinstate the ring during day time. The pain is at the balls, not the penis. Erection is still being disabled with the cage on. However, if you must, remove the entire cage during sleep at the moment. I dont think wanking off on a spring bed beside her is a good idea.
Maybe I have led you down the wrong path. Forget about the painful erection thing at night. My KH likes the idea of male chastity and wants to go to the next level. She feels guilty about putting me in an uncomfortable situation. I tell her it is okay and I enjoy the discomfort, but she still feels bad. What have you done to help overcome this negative feeling in your relationship?
I would suggest that you don’t particularly focus on the discomfort during conversation. It’s a stage that you get through. Don’t complain to her about it. Instead of she says anything regarding it just tell her that it’s ok ‘I’ll get get used to this, it’s worth it because of…’ tell her some benefits to the situation. That way she’s not focusing on the negative aspects, rather the benefits. That can apply to anything, not just nocturnal wakenings.
My vanilla wife will probably never be comfortable doing any of these things but I’m living vicariously through these posts right now!