She recently granted me an orgasm. I enjoyed it - OBVIOUSLY - but I didn't get a wow factor and I worked out that it was because I knew that, under the terms of our agreement, she had to do so that day or the following and since she doesn't normally want sex two days running it was almost certainly that day. So there was no surprise and I guess the surprise element is quite important. After thinking about this for a week I proposed two days ago we change the agreement so there was no limit to how long she could deny me so it would always be a surprise for me. She didn't reply immediately. Then last night she intimated that she would prefer to go back to normal sex where I get an orgasm after her. It seems she didn't like the one-sidedness of the arrangement. I can understand that. I get pleasure from giving her an orgasm and she likewise gets pleasure from giving me one. I guess the idea of going for unlimited periods of denial made her realize that she was basically not happy with the arrangement. So we're back to normal except that she says she might from time to time tell me I'm not allowed to come after she has. I'm good with this. I think our short foray into chastity has resolved some of my problems and I guess if I slip back into old habits she might revert to chastity for a few weeks to put me in my place. Jimi123 I hope you are reading this - chastity doesn't always lead to sissification, submission and cuckolding, or anything else that you fear.
I suggest you simply ask her if you are allowed to orgasm after she is done with hers. She either says yes or no. Either way is satisfying. If she says yes, you express how incredibly happy you are that she allows you to. If she says no, you go insane for a few minutes trying to deal with the fact she denied you and then afterwards thank her even more by telling her how much you enjoy being denied sometimes. win-win
I don't know your full story (yet), but my wife needed to warm up to the idea. I'm quite sure she thought it was weird (might still ). Short periods of time are a good place to start, like a week with a known start and finish. You can always cheat and deny yourself by stopping just short and only ejaculating without a real orgasm. My wife's biggest thing was not having the pleasure of giving me pleasure. I told her that there is pleasure in it for me in denial. Knowing everything is temporary is key. Ramblings....
Sounds still promising, she wants her orgasm first, then yours. Like everyone keeps saying that baby steps are much safer. I would think that your orgasm would deeply depend on how well you satisfied me first. As time goes on, she may just warm up to her pleasure is way more important than yours. I agree that surprises are much more fun than knowing. Every game I come up with to control my going without, I don't want to know the time length. That keeps me on my best behaver. Boy thats a job in it's self. And I want to not knowing if today is the day, or tomorrow, and so on. Keep enjoying Chastity, then you too on day may be saying, Be Careful what you Ask For!!! Sincerely Missy Tanya
Thanks for the post. Yes, still very curious and thinking about some of this. I think your post is both refreshing and makes sense to me. My wife does like making me climax and I love her doing it. ;-) What spins my wheel is taking out the "automatic" aspect of things. Maybe in part sex is becoming a "routine" I make her climax, she makes me climax we both start snoring. It is "bad"? No, but our romantic life is pretty close to zilch. I've tried to change things up in some ways. Me "first" then her but (Sorry cream pie fans) I'm not all that keen on tasting myself. I'll do it but its not my dream job. Plus I will admit that post orgasm I am not as interested in her pleasure as pre climax. I thought more about cuckolding because thats been part of this that I have never quite put a finger on. I think a lot of people (Almost everyone I can think of) "cheat" At least in my experience. I've certainly been cheated on and while its pretty ancient history (Pre This relationship anyway) I'm no saint either. So, what I think is part of this is people are more concerned with loosing their relationship then they are having their ego banged up by some extra relationship sex. Spike's Bitch said that it was "ego" that made cuckolding either unacceptable or not. The sex only relationship seems to mesh with the way human being are wired to procreate. Men want to spread the seed and women the legs. Ok, crude, Sorry, but it seems... True. Submissive men seem to be better able to handle this? Maybe its a self worth thing? Or its just about being so controlled or? I dunno. Given a choice I would prefer to be the one doing the fucking but I also don't want to screw up my relationship. I would hate to have to test my own ego issues by finding out my SO had decided (or already) had cucked me. Would I let my ego ruin my relationship? THAT is a very difficult question to answer...