Me and my wife (keyholder) are new to the whole FLR and chastity thing. I’ve read tons on FLR while she has looked into it very little. I know the whole idea is to have the woman in charge and I love that, but there is very little tease/denial and giving her orgasms which has me feeling pretty useless as a sexual slave. For the most part I'm just locked in a cage and cook and clean. What I would give to just eat her out and then be pushed away and told thank you or good-night. When I bring this up it’s obviously a turn off for her as it comes across as a guilt trip rather than trying to check in on our feelings with this new kink. Am i topping from the bottom, or do we as a couple have to put in a little more effort and research into the roles we play in an FLR to make it work long term? Any advice or direction would be helpful. I just want to be the best sub I can be. thanks
It is good you were being honest, but it is also good she is being honest too. My wife doesn't want me to sexually please her as much as I would like... She likes it when I am romantically intimate with her... give her back rubs, foot rub, massages.... brush her hair... tell her how she makes me feel... Most of the sexual intimacy comes about from humor, but it helps break the ice with her about it. She loves seeing how aroused I can her from next to nothing, her stroking with with a single finger, to how arouse I can get from just massaging her. Let's face it, I am the average guy that wants it everyday & she would be fine with it every 6 weeks most likely. I feel privileged she will give me the "time of day" when it comes to a quick nightly tease... Be honest with her about what she wants and feel great about what she wants you to do with her. Odds are she might give you the privilege of living out one of your "kinks" once or twice year... because it was probably more frequent than what you were getting before. Once my wife found out "how easy" it was too keep me happy with one finger and just telling me... "All I can do is give you a tease tonight while you massage me to sleep". I feel and you should feel entitled to share intimate moments with your wife, but it is something you guys need to talk about or this will never work as a married couple introducing male chastity to your relationship. If you ever need someone to talk to shoot me a message, hang in there pal!
It's important to give her time to find out what's her role in the flr. You can tell her your dreams but she decides if she wants to do it. From vanilla to keyholder is a big step. You can write you fantasies down so she can read in her own time. Give it time and most importantly talk, talk, talk.