Before the beginning - The Long Part

Hello everyone,

I have posted other threads asking for advice on how to get my girlfriend/future wife to start keyholding me. I have devised a plan and am putting it into action, for the short haul or the long one, I will be here posting updates!

Some Background
I met my girlfriend in high school. We are both in our twenties now, after 5 1/2 years together, my girlfriend is very vanilla and we usually only have sex 1-2 a month, but lately it has definitely been more like once a month. We don't have any kids, I have an extremely high sex drive and she just does not. When we were in college we would have sex more frequently. But I have come to accept the infrequency of it and it has not been a problem recently.

My girlfriend is the dominant one in the relationship, I am the dominate one in the bed, but she controls the frequency that we have sex. All aspects of our relationship and our life are pretty much run by her. I know that she would absolutely die for a chastity style lifestyle from me. If she knew how much better of boyfriend I would become she would have locked me ages ago.

My girlfriend has a full time job, and I am an entrepreneur. I have two streams of income so I do fairly well, but I have a lot of free time at home, which I used to spend watching porn and masturbating. I only had a plastic HT v3 knockoff that was pretty uncomfortable so it was pretty ineffective in preventing me from masturbating when I would just take it off. However I ordered a new metal cage that fits perfect and I am in love with, its a bird cage design so I would hypothetically never really need to take it off for cleanings or anything.

I received my new cage in the mail, put it on and was instantly flooded with the overwhelming urge to ask my girlfriend to lock me (again, she denied me the first time, which was also when I unveiled my chastity cage to her) since she already knew of my previous cage. I thought better of myself and decided to do more research and go about it more carefully, because I knew after asking her once, if I wanted it again, this was something I really wanted. Thats when I came across this forum, which has given me the ideas, and motivation necessary to move forward with this possibly, and most likely long journey.

The Plan
I am currently locked every day while my girlfriend is gone at work. I used to take the cage off and masturbate before she came home, but for the past 3 days I have made a commitment to stay locked and not cum. Letting the powerful emotions to provide my girlfriend with happiness, affection, attention, and relaxation take over my brain. I can say this part has been working. I wake up and put on the cage before I head to the gym, seeing my girlfriend only in passing as she gets ready for work, and then wearing it until she is scheduled home and removing it with no stimulation.

Yesterday I cleaned our bedroom and did our laundry, which is completely unheard of. I gave her more attention and affection via back rubs and foot rubs. She fell asleep last night to me rubbing her back, with no demands of sex from me in return for what I have done. I took her dog out for her in the middle of the night last night. Today I sent her a small message to let her know have a good day and I love her. I think we are both enjoying this, even if she doesn't know what "this" is.

I know that soon she will settle into this lifestyle, it is just the beginning of our relationship on repeat. After it is clear she is used to this, I am just going to mention that I am locked during the days when she leaves and abstaining from any kind of stimulation aside from with her, I will see what she says and decide my next steps from there down the road.

I will keep you all updated day to day on this thread!

 

Update #1:
She called me on her way home from work, which is when I offered to make the dinner she said she was going to cook for everyone. She said she just wanted my help.

She arrived home and we were both excited to see eachother. She changed and we immediately went to the kitchen and began cooking. Because she is very particular I watched for a while, and then after I was sure I knew how she wanted everything I offered for her to relax on the couch while I finish cooking.

She turned to me and said “Why are you being so nice to me lately?!?”
I said “I just feel like I haven’t been appreciating you like I should be”
She said “Well you’re doing a really good job of making up for it” while moving in for a long hug.

It is clear to both of us there is a difference in my behavior. I don’t plan to tell her about the cage again yet, I want to give it a lot more time. Maybe until she starts expecting me to be so amazing and starts asking me to do small things (but basically telling me with her tone) and expecting me to oblige. I feel like she feels power when she starts acting this way. It is how the first 2 years of our relationship played out.

What do you think? How long would you wait to mention you have been locked while she’s away?

 

Update #2:
We had dinner together and sat on the couch. Nothing too extraordinary, we were both extra cuddly with eachother.

Fast forward to bedtime, we are laying in bed. She starts playing with me through my shorts, she only ever does this when she wants it, but it’s super super rare she does. After about 20 minutes of her rubbing me she asked me to play with her bet which I said “of course.” I knew that from this point on I could just focus on her only. I gave her the best slow finger massage I have ever given her. She wanted to 69 and I offered to just eat her out instead and she said it’s up to you, and I said I didn’t want her to be pressured and I wanted to focus on her and she still wanted to. I immediately grabbed her toy (which is bigger than me only by 1” and a little bit in girth) which I am usually reluctant to use, for now that I think of no real reason. She gave me the best blowjob she had ever given me and I performed to say the least with the dildo and my tongue, I gave her the one O she always has during sex this way. After she could not focus anymore she wanted me and not the dildo. She got into position and I just kept eating her, she was in complete ecstasy. She eventually pulled me with all of the strength she could, which wasn’t much. I lasted for an extremely long time, I was genuinely surprised that I did but I think I was just so focused on her that I didn’t feel the need to. I went on for another 10 minutes or so and did not finish.

We both went to the bathroom and regrouped in the bedroom. She said “well I’m sad you didn’t finish” and I told her I really didn’t mind, I just wanted to focus on her. I confessed that since the last time we had sex, I hadn’t came, which isn’t far from the truth with the exception of one ruined O self stimulating before I decided to take on this journey.

We went back and forth on the benefits of me not masturbating, she told me “You were a lot bigger, at first I didn’t know if it was you or the toy or not” this was honestly the best thing that I ever heard being compared to a 7” and thick dildo. She also really enjoys the way that I am focused on her. I told her I wanted to go back to the start of our relationship where I did not masturbate, which is all true. It really does feel like the honeymoon phase all over again and just in a matter of days.

We cuddled until she fell asleep, where I now write this update. Reading this now, I think we are definitely headed in the right direction. I’m just going to let my behavior continue and let what has happened marinate with her. I will see how I feel about telling her I lock up during the day in the coming weeks.

Any insight? I feel now is just a waiting game to see if her curiosity peaks about the cage and me not masturbating, but I doubt she will make the connection on her own.

 

Update #3:
My girlfriend called me on her way home from her self employed job, and told me that she has felt really good and happy the last three days all because of me. She said all of the little things that I have been doing she really appreciates. I told her she didn’t need to thank me and that I just wanted to make her happy and that’s all I cared about. Then I said “I really like this whole not masturbating when you’re not around thing” and she was like “yea, if that’s really what you did, it’s crazy how good it works, I wonder if it has something to do with your hormones…it’s just so interesting.” I told her it did have to do with my hormones, and that I have done a tiny bit of research on it but not a lot. I’m hoping that I can get her to do a little bit of research along side me.

It still feels way too early to tell her I lock up daily, but it’s starting to feel like the right conversation might come along sooner than expected.

Either way, I am even surprised with my mood change and how far I have come as a boyfriend in the past days. This is a very enjoyable experience for both of us.

If you all could provide some links to some vanilla friendly readings on full orgasms and how they impact us that would be great!! Maybe even some on ruined orgasms or denial that would be good for a first time reader!

 

Update #4:
She arrived home and we were in bed shortly after. I told her that I had been doing some research and explained a little bit of what goes on hormonally. After that I explained to her the way it makes me feel after I have an orgasm whether it’s with her or by myself. She told me she would still like to focus on me sometimes, and I said “of course, I’m not complaining about cumming, but I really enjoy riding emotions when I don’t, it would be totally ok to focus on me in a different way”

I told her “Not to make it like weird or anything, but it would be really hot if sometimes you didn’t allow me to cum” (I really put emphasis on the allow) To my surprise, my super vanilla gf agreed.

I said after that “This way is cool too, because If you ever want to give me a blowjob or anything, you don’t have to focus on making me cum unless you really want to. That way you don’t feel pressured in any way.” I can’t remember what she said after this but the whole conversation was positive.

I said “I really really enjoy this, I want to focus on you more and I want to do whatever you want me to, I just want to do anything I can to make you happy, I really like it”
She said “I really like it too” and hugged me tight.

Definitely on the right path. Guess I’m waiting for her to deny me a couple orgasms. I know that next time we do anything she will want me to finish since I didn’t this time. I’m excited for her to start taking control, we will see how it plays out next time we do something.

Any comments are greatly appreciated, would love to hear from you all what you think may happen next based off your experience!

 

Wow! This is incredible reading, I pasted it to my notes so I could show her some day along this journey when she’s ready.

 

Update #5:
Last night was somewhat special. After she got home from work she said “I’m hungry but idk what to eat” and I told her “I know I want to eat you” and she looked up with a big smile, and said “ok!” And was genuinely excited. I told her I would give her a massage as well, and she said “with a happy ending?”
(Me jokingly saying “I would eat you” or anything else, has rarely ever led to any form of sex, but this time it only took me saying it once and I knew she wanted it)

I gave her about a 30-45 minute back massage with lotion, it’s been years since I’ve done this. I slowly started mixing in kisses and focusing more on her butt than her back. I told her I was going to wash the lotion off my hands to which she replied with getting completely naked and waiting for me to come back.

After I get back I give her oral pleasure for 10-15 minutes and then she says she wants me. She pulls me up to her, I pull my shorts down and she asks “what’s that?” Pointing to some razor rash on my inner thigh “it’s from shaving” and we continued. I lasted for about 10 minutes where she had a strong O and told me she wanted me to cum. I continued in various positions for another 10 minutes or so, until I came a massive 7+ day load on her.

I can definitely feel the effects of the mood drop, I feel less motivated to shower her in attention and affection. I am going to try and make it a slightly basic weekend when it comes to my attitude. Hopefully she can really see that cumming does effect as intensely as we talked about.

After we finished I said “what did you think this was?” Pointing to my inner thigh, she said “it looked like the beginning of a Hickey or a bruise, I wasn’t sure what it was” which leads to a question.

Whether my gf thought maybe I had been with another girl, or that I had been doing some weird stuff to myself to cause this change in my behavior, libido, and stamina. I feel that it is beneficial she has some form of skepticism on the whole thing, she still is unsure what caused this fast change. My thoughts is hopefully when I come to her about my chastity, she will be more like “oh so that’s what caused the change so fast” which would be a good thing right? That she sees the chastity as a big part of the equation when I unveil to her I wear it throughout the day, rather than just thinking it’s something that is minor in maintaining this “different me.”

Now we wait for our next session, where I hope she denies me an orgasm like we talked about.

What do you all think? How did you handle the mood drop and the less intense feelings towards your SO before they were introduced to the idea of chastity?

 

With an orgasm I feel somewhat lost in this, what should my next steps be for the next 3-4 days?

 

Update #6:
Well, this weekend wasn’t too hard. She let me cum during PIV on Friday, I had a fairly lazy Saturday due to the mood drop. Sunday morning I offered to give her a booty rub before she woke up. She said “I kinda just want my coffee” and I said “I’ll make your coffee if you let me give you a massage rn” she smiled and said yes. Afterwards I thanked her for letting me make her feel good, and she was helping me get my hormones up so I could better cherish her. She loved that.

I was busy with self employment stuff so I was gone for a good part of Sunday. After we got into bed I realized she is starting to change, for the better.

We laid in bed for 5-10 minutes before she pulled me into a spooning position (I’m the big spoon) without asking or telling me or giving me any option. Normally she would ask.

She grabbed my hand and put it on her breast, which is another rare occurrence. I was gently squeezing when I let out a small breath when my erection twitched. She asked me “why did you go *gasp*” I said “because you make my dick so hard it feels good” she said “mmmm, why is it SOO hard??” In a very teasing voice. I said “your ass is right there” in a weak kinda voice.

This was the best part, I asked her
“Is there anything I can do for you right now? Give you a massage, play with your hair, rub your butt, eat you out, give you a foot massage, bring you a snack?”
She looked at me with the biggest smile
“Nnnoooo, that’s ok, you can rest today, I’ll make you do it tomorrow” (we both knew she wanted to be eaten, I could see the choice in her eyes)
I said “oh my god that’s so hot you said make me”
She looked at me and smiled like she knew what she was doing.

Either she is getting used to my behavior really fast, and her spoiled bratty side is coming back (which I think would be a benefit for this) or I’m becoming more submissive and she is becoming more dominant to fill the space.

Another thing she said was “I also feel like I’m mean to you, you spoil me and it gets in my head and I think I’m the shit”
I said “don’t worry about being nice to me, I was mean to you for a long time in our relationship”
She said “now that your super nice to me I need to be the mean one, to maintain the meanness in our relationship.” She pretty much concluded she would eventually become more mean because I’m sooo nice to her. I didn’t want to go as far as saying “idk I think it would be hot if I was doing everything for you and you were mean to me” but it kinda would. I get a little turned on every time I do something and she doesn’t say thank you. Which has been happening more and more.

I also told her she didn’t have to be like “thank you baby. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you babe!” And to just stop thanking me, she doesn’t need to thank me or be extra nice because I’m doing things for her. She said “good! Because I don’t want to be that way.”
After these conversations I was trying hard not to have the biggest smile as we laid and watched YouTube videos before sleep.

Waiting to see what she “makes” me do tonight. Hopefully she lets me PIV or she teases me and denies me an orgasm. Fingers crossed!

Love where this is going!

 

Update #7:
“The First Titled Update - Shes Settling In”

The other night she just “made me” give her a back massage. I asked if I could see her butt while I massaged and she told me no, I immediately obliged, which caught her off guard a bit. Not sure if she didn’t want her butt touched or she didn’t trust me to take it further, either way I respected her wishes.

She has been settling into this new life very well, she has been asking me for more small things, those little nuance things that she always has me to, like grab her a tissue, grab her water bottle, take her dog outside. She has started expecting me to do these things, and some times she doesn’t even notice or say thank you, which turns me on a bit.

I have still been doing every chore I can, and even doing extra like making her lunch before work. Which was an idea I came up with. I have done every single thing I can, big or small to make her life easier. She can feel it too, she has been far more blissful and relaxed than normal.

I am just waiting for another conversation about the “new me” and then I am going to tell her I have been wearing the cage while she’s away. I feel prepared for the conversation and I think that she may take well to it at this point. Things have been slowing down in terms of new and exciting stuff, but I will keep you all updated here!

 

Update #8: She took it well
The past few days have been great. I could definitely see the increase in my mood and my heightened emotions over the past few days. I last had a full orgasm on Friday, it has been 7 days since.

My gf woke up this morning with me cuddling her, she eventually initiated sex (which she has done about 7-10 times our whole 5 year relationship) starting with long and slow head. I told her “I want to taste you” and she said “no, I just want to focus on you today”

She continued for an outstanding amount of time before riding me for about 5 minutes. I was extremely sensitive (I’m more sensitive in the morning, idk about you all) from abstaining for so long. She thoroughly enjoyed every second of watching me in intense pleasure.

I told her I wanted to do the work, which she obliged and asked how I wanted her. I told her “however you want” and she got into doggystyle position. She would normally tell me to choose the position again. It was a difficult 5 minutes before I flipped her on her back and made her finish, which was even more difficult.

Afterwards this was our conversation while I continued slowly, both out of breath:
Her: “I want you to finish”
Me: “I want to finish too, but I really love how much I want to cherish you and love you when I don’t”
Her: “I love it too, I love it so much, but this is me giving you a break from that, you’ve been good to me all week”
*continues for a few minutes*
Me: “Don’t touch me when I finish okay?”
Her: “Ok”

I pulled out and had a semi ruined orgasm, I still came about 70% of the normal volume. I’m not a pro at them, but I’ve had my fair share. I would have to say it was a 5/10 if 10 is a perfect ruined orgasm.

I said “I’ve been doing some reading about the hormones and orgasms and stuff, I read about ruined orgasms-which, idk, that felt really good. But basically when you have one like that you don’t experience a hormone drop.”
She said “ohhh ok”
I said “also, do you remember that cage I showed you?”
She said “Yess” (very inquisitively, or seductively, I’m not sure, it caught me off guard, I wish I could hear it again to interpret it better, but it was positive)
I said “Well, I think part of the reason I have been able to last so long is because I have been wearing it when you’re gone-well, not that cage but another one I got. The plastic one was good but it was uncomfortable after a while, I wore it when you were on vacation. I got a new metal one and I really like it, it’s super comfortable”
She said “ohhh ok, I see I see”

I apologized for not telling her about it sooner, and reminded her she said she didn’t want anything to do with it.

She understood and didn’t mind the delay in me telling her.

 

What’s next?
Should I warn her of what’s on the internet? I think I am going to tonight, if it feels right to provide her reading I am going to provide her the link below.

I plan to just keep up the behavior and keep wearing the cage (which makes things oh so easy) and hope that maybe one day soon her curiosity peaks and she asks about it.

Any thoughts? Insight?

 

The link I want to show her

https://www.independent.co.uk/voice...ge-relationship-sexuality-penis-a8600906.html