My Journey, in fits and spurts

I'm a little bored this morning (I'm I'm trying to avoid work) so I thought I'd write a little this morning.

Area on my scrotum looks better, but my KH still doesn't want me to put the cage on yet. She wants it healed fully. While out I haven't been fully chaste like I should. (Self-control is hard sometimes.). Heading out of town today, and I'm taking the cage with me. Not sure when I'll start wearing again. Locktober isn't going as strong as I'd like for me.

Other thing I thought I'd mention is the cross dressing. I posted a few photos of me dressed up as a maid. I have had several outfits, and I enjoy wearing them. My KH tolerates it, but gives me good feedback when I wear them, but she has never once asked me to put something on. I'm mentioned several times that she could ask me to do some cleaning, and to be dressed up while doing it, but she's never once done that. reading another entry, @HusbandX talked about being locked as a "gift" from his wife to him since it's not her thing. I'd like to think my wife is trying to enjoy being an active key holder, but it is a gift to me. Apparently getting her to fully embrace all my kinks (like the crossdressing) isn't as easy. But any acceptance is a gift, and I treasure whatever gifts she gives me.

I'm also not 100% sure why I posted the photos. I've never shared (even anonymously) photos of me dressed up before. There are people that know about it (it came up in a custody evaluation, so it's in some court records) and I think I'd be stupid to think that my female family members couldn't have guessed some of it when I was growing up. I still think I'd be terrified of most of the people I know found out. (Especially since there are a fair number I know from church.). So why take any risk in sharing? I'm confused as to why I did it. I'm still trying to sort out that aspect of me. What I normally internally think is that Gender expression is a spectrum, and I'm not fully pegged to the masculine side. Some things I do now I've done for years. I wear panties as much as I wear normal underwear and have for a couple of years now. (The wife doesn't mind that.). Working from home I'm in leggings and tall Bearpaw boots when the weather hits much more often than not. (That's my normal footwear in the winter at home.).

I guess I don't know why I do a lot of the things I do. Apparently I feel safe enough with this community to share something that I haven't before. The writing maybe helps with that comfort. I'm not sharing pictures because I want to hook up with other sissies. My kinks are for me and my wife (when she tolerated them) only, so why did I share? I have no idea.

(The crossdressing and the home BDSM thing didn't negatively impact when I went for custody of kids from my ex. if you are curious. It never occurred in front of the kids, and the ex was screwed up enough this wasn't enough of a negative. It might not have been any of a negative. I know perceptions of that are changing.)

 

Thank you for this.

 

I called this journal "fits and spurts" for a couple of different reasons. One of the main ones is that I've started and stopped chastity so many times. (And I thought it was a clever play on when I do get an orgasm, which could be the "spurts." But the overall movement I've had for even this first real longer lock-up has had a lot of starts/stops. That's the challenge I'm dealing with today.

I was feeling like my sore had healed sufficiently to wear the cage yesterday, so I wore it all day and until about 4 AM this morning. I took it off due to some burning that I probably could have prevented had I slept a little warmer. I'm at my folks house for a few days so it's a little tougher to find a blanket in the middle of the night and the temp fluctuates quite a bit. Ones the balls retracted the burning stopped immediately and I could have put it back on but I didn't.

I did talk to my KH this morning as she was driving to work. I mentioned I was wearing the cage yesterday, and she told me I better be sure it's healed. I think her exact words were "you need to take advantage of the break while you can." I'm assuming that to mean that once we are both back home we will be full game-on until the end of the current contract, which ends (today) mid-November. I think the current plan is I'll be out until I drive home Saturday, and then I'll lock-up and stay locked until she comes home on Monday (and likely a lot longer, although being let out to clean I suspect will still happen.). I am excited that she put it the way she did, as I think she really does want to please me by doing a good job as a key holder.

SO why do I keep getting back into the device sooner than maybe I should? It's not because I feel "naked" without it (yet). I've worn it enough now that I'm seeing skin changes and overall toughening up of the area so that it's becoming more comfortable to wear for extended periods of time. I don't want to have it off so long that I lose the gains that I've had in that area. So I need to heal, but not totally go back to where I was when we started playing more seriously middle of September. Where's the right place to put that balance? I'm not sure yet, but I worry that if it looks worrisome at all when my KH gets home come Monday she'll be inclined to call the whole thing off for a while. It's a fine line I'm ridding right now.

So I'm out of the device, and at my parents house for a few more days. Although I have masterbated here several times in the past, I'm doing my best to be good this trip. (And it's easier to be good here than at home by myself). I have been told that once I get back home and lock myself up I'm more than welcome to try and attempt an orgasm in the cage. I bought a few toys last night that I look forward to trying to put to good use once I am home to attempt that. I have no idea how successful I'll be. I might also dress up some and take some pictures. We'll see.

 

A few quick updates. First, I'm back home now. I was out of the cage for the majority of the time at my parent's place. Initially I thought my Goddess wouldn't be home this weekend. As it ends up she postponed her trip to her parents for a few weeks, so she is home this weekend. (So my thought about trying to get an orgasm in the cage with self play is much less likely to happen.). She asked to inspect me when I got home to see how the sore area was doing. (It's much better now). I asked if I should put the cage on, but she had me wait until after dinner.

Not only did I pick a few toys up an an adult store near my parents place I also ordered a bullet vibe on Amazon for the wife. She's never used anything like that before. I had mentioned I thought she could wear it while pegging me so that she could get some enjoyment of that as well. She was game, and after dinner she slipped it in (she was worried about the size a little as she worked it in, but afterwards told me it wasn't an issue at all, and if it wasn't vibrating she wouldn't hardly notice it in.). She then put on the strap on and proceeded to peg me well. (I was still out of the cage at this point.). She didn't really play with her property while she was pegging me, and once she finished I was commanded to lock-up. She didn't have an orgasm even with the vibrator going, but it wasn't unpleasant for her and she's game to try again.

Pegging is still a little hit or miss with the KH. She doesn't mind it most times, but there have been a few times she's gotten a little lightheaded while doing it. (She's fainted while giving blood before as well, so she can be prone to it.). Tonight wasn't that way, but time before last she for whatever reason got lightheaded and had to stop. Tonight she shagged me rotten and I loved it!

So now I'm back in the cage, and will be (with breaks for cleaning or teasing) for the next nearly two weeks. I'll be out of the cage Halloween weekend for an event I'm going to, but then back in after that for a few more weeks (according to the current plan).

So for my first Locktober I've been out almost as long as I've been in, and certainly had a few orgasms that were amazing. I suspect there won't be a lot of those for the next few weeks for me, but I do hope to get her several. She's still working on her teasing game, and she's have lots of opportunities for that the next 2 weeks. (Well the rest of our lives, but we'll start with the next two weeks.)

During this lock-up, the main thing we are doing is the chastity play. We have no desire for a full-fledged FLR, but we are playing with the roles a little this time around. I've taken to calling her Goddess more often than not, and when we are in "play" mode she calls me her little pup. She says some mildly degrading things to me when she's pegging me, but she knows I like it. So it's like the chastity is serious, but the rest is much more of a game we are playing, and (near as I can tell) she's enjoying it as well. But the rest of the game isn't on 24/7, even if the chastity (mostly) is supposed to be.

 

Today I’m having serious thoughts about telling the wife I’m no longer interested in long term chastity play. I don’t feel exactly like I’ve been “locked and forgot” because my wife is being an active-ish keyholder. I just don’t think my wife is interested enough in the kind of active engagement it would take for me to sustain in chastity for a long period of time.

My wife and I are compatible in so many ways. We had a strong relationship coming into chastity play. I just don’t think the amount of time and effort she is willing to put into it balances out the frustrations/inconveniences of it for me at this point. Maybe it’s the stress of work or other things, but I think we may need to put the chastity away for a while.

the hard part is figuring out how to approach this with my wife. We signed a contract with an end date in mid November, but I don’t know how strongly she feels about that. I guess one outcome of the discussion may be that she starts being a bit more “active” in the game. She had done very well in some spurts. But if it isn’t sustainable for her then maybe we do need to take a break. I’ve told her I’d like to discuss it tomorrow. We are more or less at the half way point of the 6 weeks we were planning. I’ll see what she thinks tomorrow and if she pushes to continue than we will.

only other bit of news is that I had to size down the space between the ring and the cage today since I had a ball slip through. I didn’t think it was possible! It was the largest spacer, so I have room to go down. I used to think it was important to have the smallest space possible, but now that I’m wearing it for days on end comfort is much more important!

 

I do feel a little different about it this morning. Once thing I read over and over on this forum is the need for open communication between partners. That's the plan for this evening. I know where the back-up key so if I *really* wanted to get out now I could.

I've seen the chastity caption more than once that says "It's not real chastity until you want to get out." Maybe I finally arrived at that spot!

 

So I just had a first and I figure I should document it. When I came home from a trip this last weekend my KH said I could try and get an orgasm in the cage. I tried using anal stimulation, but it didn't happen. Well I'm working from home today and got desperate and wanted to try again. We recently picked up a magic wand vibrator and it's too strong for my KH to enjoy. (Even on the lowest setting it's a bit strong for her). But I used it on the cage and fairly quickly had an orgasm while locked. I'm still horny as hell, so it didn't give me the kind of relief I would have if I had a normal orgasm. But it was a little bit of relief that I hadn't experienced before.

I've seen others mention that caged orgasms don't provide relief and cause more frustration/mess than benefit. I'm not 100% sure I feel the same way, but it clearly isn't a full orgasm and didn't give the same warm/fuzzy that one of those gives me. But I don't think I'll necessarily attempt these regularly. (It's been almost two weeks since I last emptied, so I was due to have some sort of clearing.).

Now I'll need to fess up to my KH that I did this and see what she says about it. I might get in trouble for attempting it today. We'll see. But she'll know she can do this to me in the future should she want to.

 

Well the wife and I had a talk this evening, and we've decided that we are going to stop the chastity play for a bit. She feels guilty for not doing "more" as the key holder, and that was feeding into a negative cycle where she was doing less and less related to it. It added a level of stress that she doesn't need ATM, so we've decided to put the device away for a bit.

I know there are people on this forum that self lock, and others that are locked for the long term even with KH's that don't necessarily "do" a lot day to day related to it. Each person's expectations and experience is different, and this wasn't meeting her needs right now in a way that was negative for us.

We have had some wonderful experiences during the lock-ups we've done over the last 6 weeks or so. Several of those I'd like to do more of even if I'm not in chastity. And my wife is willing to play as well, but just a bit more spread out. She's even said she's willing to put me in chastity again, but she'll do it when she feels like she can do the job she thinks she needs to do. It also won't be a contract thing like we were doing. It will be "lock yourself up" and it goes for as long as it goes, but probably for shorter periods of time. (Basically extended foreplay, which could last for days/weeks, which is not a bad thing.). And who knows, when the job situation (which is the main part of her stress and saps her energy at home) changes, maybe we'll go for a longer period again.

During the last month and half (roughly) I've really cut down on the porn, and clearly the masterbating as well. My wife says she doesn't care how much I maturate, but cares a lot if I look at porn to do it. I hope to continue that trend of greatly decreased porn watching. I also started referring to her as "goddess" over the last month, and I will continue to use that as a term of endearment. I hope it makes her feel more powerful. One thing that probably will change is that I won't be looking at this website nearly as often. Reading the journals of people who's experiences are so vastly different than mine flavors my expectations of what my experience "should" be, when in reality it should be what works for my wife and I. And a *lot* of what I read would never work for the wife and I, so I need to avoid some of that to "reset" my mindset.

So tonight my dick is now my property again and is free. Tomorrow I continue to treat my wife well because she still has the key to my heart, and will always.

 

So it's been a few months, without much play time going on. We had a long weekend at one point where I was in chastity, but not much else. My son was also home for a week which makes it much less likely for us to have play time. (I did get pegged in the last month and I feel like I was closer to getting a rectal-only orgasm than I've ever been before, which was so awesome. And she was wearing a new latex catsuit which I'm sure contributed to me thinking she's the hottest thing ever!).

Well my son is now back out of the house, and I have time off for the holidays but the wife is working most of it. I asked her to hold the key, and she's again game for it. Last night was night #3 in chastity, and for whatever reason I'm able to go back asleep after waking up due to the morning wood a lot easier this time. There hasn't been much tease, but that's OK. That becomes more important for me a little longer into chastity. But I did get her to put me into my straightjacket for an hour yesterday, which I really enjoyed. (It's one of the few toys I have that requires her to participate. I can't get myself into it at all in a satisfactory way, and once buckled in there is no getting out of it without her).

She did ask "how long do you want me to keep you locked up?" and the response was "through the holidays when I'm off and you aren't." That means two weeks, and I'm really hoping that at the end of that time she's willing to keep going as an active key holder. We will be at my brother's house a few days over Christmas, and we'll see if she wants me to be locked during that time or not. (We are staying at a hotel at night so I don't need to worry about waking people up by needing to pee multiple times at night.).

So what do I hope happens the next few weeks? Well, I hope that she's willing to peg me at least once if not multiple times. And I hope that she's willing to tease me a little more often than she has in the past. I hope she's willing to wear the latex outfit for me as well. (It's a tight fit on her, so work to get it on. Last time she wore it I tied her up, which she really enjoyed. We are both switches, even though I think we are both primarily subs rather than natural doms.). I am more than happy to tie her up again while she's wearing latex and using the magic wand on her till she can't stand it anymore (if she doesn't unlock me for it.). I worry about wearing my new latex catsuit while in chastity. (I'd hate for it to rip!). I also hope that I get a little more desperate than I have in times past. It's not chastity until you want out, and I really want her to make me want out!

The other thing that's interesting in the relationship right now is that my KH/Wife is trying to figure out where she's at in the menopause process. She went a little over 50 days this last time between periods, and this period is lasting longer than normal. She's not as interested in sex when she's on her period, so having irregular timing makes it hard to plan! I know there are several post-menopausal couples on these boards. Just curious how that specific transition phase impacted your chastity play time.

Last thing to mention. I'm still working from home, which has lasted a lot longer than I ever expected it to. I'm actually dressed up right now (while in chastity) and took a few pictures that I've posted. I also tried epilization on my legs/arms, which makes it more fun to dress up. I think I've got sexy legs I might pick a different outfit each day and post a photo or two. My KH doesn't ever order me to dress up (I've asked her to, but it's not her thing. She doesn't mind if I do it, but it doesn't do it for her) but I enjoy it a lot. I've known I loved CDing since I was in elementary school, which was a much younger age then when I discovered chastity. So I've got a new album and I'll populate it the next week with more photos than people probably want to see

 

Well last night was night 5 back in chastity (I think). Still wearing the Vice. I will say that since I started using the waterproof bandaids around the hinge of the ring it has been much more comfortable at night. (I want to be frustrated, not in pain!) I was let out today for a good cleaning. I think 5 days is the longest I've gone without being let out for cleaning, and I don't think I could go much longer. I tore up one of my knees several months ago, and ever since then I've been a lot less active. I was in general showering every other day, but I've been showering every day since I was locked back up to try and keep it clean. I'm in the Vice mini, so it's not that hard to get water in there to get it clean. And using a hair drier to make sure it's not sitting wet afterwards. I don't want my KH's property to get funky, as that's one sure way for her to want to stop being the KH!

Frustration level isn't too bad yet wearing this again full time. I don't remember when the frustration started to mold me last time. I guess I could look through this journal and see. I just know I'm not there yet. I have asked my KH to try and tease me a little bit more, and she has agreed to try. We both just got our booster shots, and it's not like either one of us is feeling like having sexy time with sore shoulders! That and the house is difficult to keep warm, and the KH would much rather feel like doing something when it's warm. (It's easy to boil us out of some rooms and have other rooms be too cold - this was easier in the summer when the house was a more consistent temperature.). But I have hopes that we'll enjoy having me in chastity enough that it keeps going after the next two weeks that are (more or less) planned for right now.

 

I always find it interesting to go back and look at these entries. I don't think I stayed in chastity all that long at the end of December. I think with the Vice I had pinched my skin in an awful way and had to keep the device off for almost a week to heal. And then we never got back into it. (Life got in the way). I locked up again this last Monday, so now I'm 5 days in (which was when I also journaled last time!). The wife and I are heading out on vacation on Sunday, and I told her she didn't need to bring the key. (Well, I told her to tell me if I ask that she didn't bring it, but I have said it's her choice if I orgasm so having the key allows her control still).

Last night was only the second time I made love to her wearing a strap on while caged. I think this experience for her was better than the first time we tried, and she seemed game to try again. Mt belt isn't the most comfortable to wear with the cage on, but seeing her score a great orgasm is worth the discomfort! I might try to modify the harness to work a little better with the vice.

I did buy a new chastity cage, and a metal one this time. However, I could easily escape it, which is always a bummer. (I could fit my finger in easily to push my dick back through the ring. Couldn't get the balls out, but if I wanted to maturate it would be trivial.). I was from Etsy, and wasn't that expensive, so at least it's not a lot of money wasted (this time). I have certainly wasted a lot of money on cages over the years! I just ordered a Black Mamba Pro V3.0, which I am looking forward to trying when I get back from vacation.

One thing I discovered with the metal cage when I was wearing it is that I can fairly easily get an orgasm with the vibrator on the cage. It's not exactly like a full one, but still enjoyable. (This was when I was playing and the wife wasn't holding the keys so I didn't feel bad having an orgasm.). My wife doesn't really mind me masterbating when I'm not locked up. She really dislikes however if I look at porn to do it. Using the vibrator with a silicone sleeve over my shaft can get me from 0 to orgasm in a few minutes at the most, so that's how I was doing most of my masterbation the last few months. But now that I'm locked and the wife has the keys I can only do that if she allows it.

Back when we first tried the longer term chastity my wife was feeling really down for work. She is doing better now, so I hope she's more willing to engage in the teasing in addition to the denying part. I try to not push her too much that way, but I do it enjoy it. I hope that work stays good for her over the next few weeks to months so that I can hopefully keep this going for some time.

I mentioned in the past that knees were previously injured. I've now had my meniscus fixed, but I'm over a month out from the procedure and I still can't put any pressure on my knees by kneeling on them. I used to love kneeling before my wife and worshiping her, but now I can't get down on both knees. (I can on one, but the pressure on the other still bugs it fairly quickly.). I also can't even think about doing missionary position sex (either real or with the strap on) with me on top without significant pain. When we did make love last night she was on the edge of the bed so I could stand. Getting injured (and too many birthdays) makes it harder to do things I used to take for granted.

So heading on vacation in two days, and will probably get to take the cage off for a good cleaning before we leave. And then we'll see if she brings the key when we go. We are bringing all of the toys, so we will have fun! I'll try to update a little more often for this painfully real and quite boring journal compared to some of the others on here.

 

So we are now on day 4 of the vacation. The Vice was taken off for a good cleaning on Sunday before we left, and I was locked in it until last night. With the current lock on the Vice my wife doesn't like to cuddle much. (The lock has really sharp corners) so we took it off last night to cuddle, and ended up having amazing sex. The orgasim is aways so nice after time being locked up. (I think it was 10 days locked and a little longer before that since the last time we made love.). I'm still out of chastity this morning, but we plan on locking it back up before lunch. And then who knows how long that lock-up will last. I do think we need a better lock so that she doesn't mind bumping up agains it. I have a new one with the cylinder lock waiting for me when I get home that should be much better in that regard, as long as it's secure on me.

Night before last we had bough a new dildo for the wife that I could use on her. Unfortunately with the lube we had it still got very dry quickly, and was painful for her every time I tried to thrust. (More pain pulling out than in pushing forward.). We tried it without a condom on it, and I think with a condom on the dildo it will be better. We plan on trying that again this week at some point while we are away on vacation. She does enjoy sex, and if we can't find a good substitute for mine then I'll have to be unlocked regularly for sex. (She usually doesn't deny me the chance to orgasm when we do have sex.). I know some people have talked about some higher priced options that work for them. I'll need to look into those.

First two days of vacation I worked during the day, so not as much play time as I hope to have the rest of the vacation. It's supposed to rain a lot of tomorrow, so the only plans were to work on a puzzle together with frequent "sexy time" breaks.

 

I actually have a resin one with a cylinder lock arriving today. Hopefully that will be more tolerable for both of us.

 

Well I had a little bit of a first this last week. While wearing the chastity device my wife pegged me and used a vibrator on the cage. Oh my god I came so hard while she was doing that. It was amazing! I wore the chastity cage until the next morning, but have actually been out since then. We did make love once since then, with her being tied down to the bed (we brought some under the bed restraints with us on vacation) and she enjoyed that quite a bit. (I made her come first with the vibrator, but then had an orgasm inside her as well.). No masterbation since then, which until 6 months ago would have been a long streak for me. I just don't have the same compulsion to do that as I used to. Maybe the longer periods of chastity have helped rewire me some.

So new device today. I'll put it on and have access to the key for a few days while making sure that it's OK, then I plan to hand the keys off to the wife again. (This is a very busy week for work for her, so she'd rather not play key holder until the week is over anyways.). I'll post some updates on how the new cage works.

 

It's been a while since I posted. The last update was really the last time I had spent any significant time in chastity. I've self-locked for short periods since then (under a day usually at a time), but am now locked back up again for the last 4 days. Holding the key myself for now since I’m trying to get trained back up again to wearing for longer periods of time. (I’m not wearing it 24/7, but I’m wearing it for longer periods of time, to include overnight.). I’ve spoken with the wife/KH and she is amenable to enforcing my chastity again. (Sometimes due to work/life she’s not as willing to play along. That was an issue earlier this year, but has mostly cleared up.). I’ve missed this, and look forward to what’s to come!

Last year I was using the Vice, but earlier this year I decided to get the Black Mamba Pro V3 cage. It’s not perfect. (I feel like I have a harder time lining up the urethra with an opening, so I’ll have to be much more diligent about cleaning.). It also isn’t totally inescapable. The vice was the only one I’ve tried so far that made escape more difficult, but even that could be escaped if I wanted. I am unwilling to get a piercing, so I understand the limitations i have to deal with. I did just order a new metal one from Amazon with a hinged ring to see if that makes it more secure for me.

I also bought aa much nicer dildo that I can wear to try and pleasure my wife with. The last one wasn’t comfortable at all for her, so I broke down and bought a Vixskin. Wow that thing is nice! I might need to get my own she can use on me!

The only serious complication is that we went from empty-nesters to having one of my kids back home for (hopefully) a short time. I can’t imagine my wife being willing to peg me or to do some of the kinkier things we sometimes do when he’s in the house. (I also don’t get to work from home while cross-dressed, which is a little disappointing but I only do that in spurts anyways.).

We’ll see how the week goes, and I’ll try to post updates. Sorry this blog isn’t as salacious as some of them are. That’s not my wife and mine’s relationship. But it’s real, and hopefully helpful to somebody!

 

More boring update this evening. It's taking some time to get my scrotal skin to not be so sensitive this time. I've been about half time (or a little more) in the Black Mamba this week, but this morning the burning was a little too much and I got up around 5AM to remove the device, which of course instantly fixed that burning. (It's the balls wanting to retract in the cold that does it to me. Why do I seem to want to always do chastity during the colder months???). I left it off as I went to work today (I normally telework), and the scrotum skin is still sensitive enough I think I'll leave it off until tomorrow morning. I do hope that in the next several days I'll get to where I can wear it 24/7, and give the keys to the wife. I just worry about handing over the keys too soon, and if I come back complaining she'll not want to hold them anymore.

Come to think about it, it's kind of like trying to launch kids from the house. I recently had one of my adult sons need to move back in for a bit. I thought he had successfully launched, but after a break-up with the fiancé and a job loss he needed to come back home for a while. I don't mind him living here for the most part, but it does make it much harder to play certain aspects of my life the way I'd like. The goal is for him to leave and be successful and not bounce back. He bounced back for a bit, but hopefully he'll launch again before long.

Long term chastity is kind of the same way. If I give the keys up too soon, I'll need to ask for release due to health reasons and she'll complain that it's too much work for her. I want her to deny me if I want to be unlocked because I'm just really horny or don't want to play anymore, but not if I'm having real issues. Until I'm relatively certain I won't have real issues, it's better for me to keep the keys. Once I'm "ready to launch" (which hopefully won't take more than a week or two) I'll lock up, hand over the keys and start the journey again.

I have noticed that after nearly a week of attempting lock-up that I am more sensitive (in a good way) down below. It is tempting to "rub one out" right now, but I'm trying to be chaste even if it isn't being enforced by the wife right now. It does remind me of why I do this - the effects of remaining chaste but aroused are so enjoyable! I think I'll remain unlocked tonight (let the skin continue to heal up a little more) and lock up tomorrow morning. Then hopefully I can start locked up several days in a row. I've done up to 36 hours or so in this stretch, but want to make sure once locked I can stay locked as long as the KH desires.

Going back to having adult kid back in the house, that really does make it a little harder to play hard. When the wife is in the mood we do more serious play of things I like (bondage, latex, strap on, etc.). Those are much harder to do when someone else is home. But luckily he's got plans for this weekend that will allow us to play some more, even if I'm still just self-locking at that point. I have the Vixskin that I want to use on her while caged, and even broke down to get the Lovense sex machine that can be used on me. (I have dreamed about being violated by one of those for a long time, and finally broke down and got one). I've never cum in the cage when my wife pegs me, but have while the strap on was in me when she used a vibrator on the cage. I hope to one day experience an orgasm in the cage strictly from anal stimulation, and the machine should make that easier. (I don't want my wife to have to work that hard!). So we'll try that this weekend (If she's up for it) and I'll report what happens.

Speaking of the vibrator on the cage, I can get an orgasm fairly easily with the vibrator on the cage. It throws me over the edge with only a few minutes of contact (usually near the lock works best for me). I suspect I'll need to have the wife hide the magic wand once I hand over the keys, and potentially earlier so that I'm not tempted to get one. (Sometimes I tell myself I'll just ruin one, but I'm not good at sticking to that once I get close.). I do hope I can get a contact free one with the sex machine too. Life-long fantasy!

I guess that's enough for one evening. The journey (in fits and spurts) continues . . .