Hello there, i am a newbie here. I bought a first cage 1 week ago (Holy Trainer knock-off) - knock-off because i wanted to try the lifestyle first and the cage itself before spending too much money on it. But felt a bit too tight and i couldn't keep the ring close to my belly. Then just yesterday i received a CB6000 knock-off, but that one was a hassle to put on. So decided to go back to the Holy trainer and got quickly used to it again. I wore the cage a few hours a day and just slept my first night with it. That was pretty confronting since the midnight/morning boners did not subside and pulled the cage even further away from my belly. But i didn't want to give up. No real pain, just the agonizing feeling of a dick that wants to fully stretch but cannot. First toughts after a few days? Well, i get extremely horny, all the time. Pre-cum dripping going on. So horny i want to touch my wife all the time. I was never spending that much time on foreplay things in a way. Now I want to tongue kiss constantly, touch her body, lick/suck.... Now my question. I showed it to her last week. She said whaaat? Why would i do that, hurt myself, deny orgasms, prevent masturbation (which i normally do a lot)? I told her i wanted to experiment with (temporary) chastity and being submissive with her being in control of my orgasms. Thing is, she is not yet on board. So my question is how can i convince my wife to take on the dominant role? Important to know as well is that we had 2 hotwife/cuckold style dates in the past and we (me) are working on a new one in the next few months. Basically i want her to cuckold me (which she also considers a bit weird but she might be willing), and i think chastity for the coming weeks might give her an idea of the dominance she could have over me, with positive side effects as more cuddling and kissing. And it would also prepare her and me for the more exclusive role she would have versus a new lover whereby i could be denied of sex. Appreciate all feedbacks on chastity start up, how to get my wife in it, how to link it/use it for future cuckolding. Many thanks.
Well, that's quite a lot of information there! It's very much a case of take your time and talk but without being obsessive about it. Some women just aren't into the chastity thing at all!
Welcome to CM, be sure to go make an Introduction. You've jumped in quickly with both feet. Slow down. You've been thinking about this for years, but it's new to her. If you really want to be submissive and worship her, show her. Let her get used to it. Tell her how you feel but dont bug her. By the way. Your back ring is too large, and you won't be able to stay locked in those closed plastic cages. Go smaller in metal.
Thanks for the tip. Yes, i will take it easy, not being pushy. The cuckolding and chastity wish is new but the fact that i like to see her getting to enjoy herself with others is not new.
Thanks Okay, well understood. I think i will be able to do that. The cage choice bothers me. Thought metal would be too hard, cold, too dangerous also in case of emergency... i am also a bit afraid of metal rings as these tend to be thinner so fear of restriction of blood flow.... Which metal model would you recommend for a beginner?
Honestly and communication go a long way, but there is no sense forcing this if she isn't interested.
I do think you are rushing headlong into this a bit. It seems all natural to you because you've been thinking of it for a long time. But it's no surprise that it sounds foreign and makes little sense to your wife. I'd suggest you focus on a few things to get a better start. First, talk more with her about not only what you want but what kind of sexual fantasies, desires she might have. Also, identify those things you can do for her, as a demonstration of your submission. So far, you've only mentioned sexual interactions, is that going to be the extent of your submission and her dominance? Or do you (or more importantly her) want to extend it to other parts of your relationships. For example, how are chores handled in your marriage? Does she want more help with those? How about other decisions or needs? Either way is okay, you just have to determine with her, what is wanted. There is no standard way to do this, as each couple can find their own choice. Second, find a cage that works better. Selection might depend on how much you intend to stay locked, days, weeks, or longer. Most men on here have gone through several designs and sizes to find what works. It can take a while. Overall just be more open and honest with her as you experiment with chastity. Good luck and enjoy.
Sure. I started communicating more openly, but indeed it might be too much all at once. I think she might be interested as she is willing to listen to my fantasies and has done things in the past.
Thank you for the tips. Appreciate all the avdvice. Also from other people on this forum. Nice to see people are interested and want to give advice. Indeed, i know i have to talk more, be more clear what i want and definitely in advance. My submission can go further than the pure sexual part, but i didnt want to spoil her yet So yes, i need to make some things more clear. With regards to her fantasies and needs, i do ask her a lot and tell her she can tell me anything but she is, being an asian rather shy and conservative. As for chastity cage tips are welcome. Brands, styles... Even if she is not immediately into this, i can still lock myself for the time being. I dont need to wait for her to become the keyholder. I knowbtje effects already. Incredible how in 1wk time, my attention shifted from my orgasm and dick to her.
Hi there and welcome. Chastity for a vanilla wife is a really a tough pill to swallow. You need to slow your shit down. You have likely overwhelmed her and in doing so run the risk of completely turning her off to the idea. Communication is important but timing is equally important. Feed her a little information at a time so as she is not completely weirded out by a husband she feels she doesn't even know and maybe is afraid to know. Women need to experience the magic of chastity before they can embrace. You can talk until you are blue in the face she won't buy it until she sees it. Try presenting as a little fun to spice up your sex life. This is something a woman can wrap her head around. Suggest wearing the cage during the week while she holds the key possibly unlocking for weekend play, or of course whenever she wants. Controlling your orgasm and pleasure is a fun way to get her on board. Present tidbits of your other fantasies as she becomes more engaged. Freaking her out in the beginning can be very difficult to recover from. Best wishes ❤️
Ok thanks, do you any suggestion? I am medium sized. I think i preferred the plastics because they seemed more closed while as metal cages often are pretty open. To be in chastity i would prefer to have as little openess as possible, if that makes sense. So i want to lock my penis rather in a tube with no posdibility to stimulate from the outside.
The boys will have to chime in with the specifics. I understand the plastic prevents all stimulation however they are not appealing to the ladies. If you want to appeal to your wife choose metal, this isn't all about you is it?
You are trying to push 2 new things on her at once and that can set you up for failure. Not only are you trying to introduce chastity, you are also trying to get her to change roles and be dominant. If she gets hung up one one of the two, you fail. Many women enjoy the role they already have. A naturally dominant woman will take the power rather than you give it so that is a much harder thing for you to manipulate. Start with chastity and keep it simple without her having to put much energy into it. Keep it light and simple. If she is ok with you wearing it 24/7, the only thing she has to do is unlock when she wants it unlocked. Or maybe she keeps the key on her key ring and you can only access it when she is home. Let her get used to it and don’t be a pest about it.
This right here is important. As a guy you might get all in your head about how much more denied you are in the plastic ones because you can't get any touch vs the open metal bars. Lesson 1. this isn't about you, not if it's going to work. I started with a CB6000s and it wasn't until I switched to metal that the Mrs engagement increased. I learned that this is all about paying attention to her cues. So your lady may prefer the plastic or she may prefer the steel but you better make sure it's her choice and not yours. If I had to gamble I'd start with steel. And like @MrsBR_Saiph said...slow down. If you haven't already ruined it, your on track to.
Thank you for all the helpful tips. Yes i noticed the chastity cage shocked her. Also the fact that i wanted it. It was defintely a desire that suddenly came up within me, out of the blue, and which i acted upon. Meaning i just bought acage and presented it to my wife. I will take it easy from now. I can play by myself now with it but i will involve her gradually. Amazing how such a sextoy, if i can call it like that, suddenly awakens a lot in me.
Ok indeed, it should be about her. Newbie here I'll try to show my wife some pics/models later on to see what she prefers.
Indeed, that makes sense. She is rather passive, calm , sweet caring and loving. No the dominant person i would like her to be. Thanks for the tips.
Ok that would depend on the kind of chastity she would in the end want to put me in. For the time being, since i am still in control, i take it off daily to clean and i take good care of my genitals. So closed plastics is not an issue right now.
Two things you need to consider. First and foremost is that it is about her and not you. She has to see the benefits of you being caged. It took my wife about 2 years to fully get on board. She puts up with it because she likes how much attention she gets from me when I'm caged. Second is to find a cage that you can wear for long periods. Everyone is different so it takes a lot of trial and error to find the right one. I ended up with one from Male Chastity Now. You could also try the 3d printed cages like the cherry keeper. The 3d printed ones are plastic but are open for cleaning. You can also choose different sizes without spending too much. Good luck. My wife nearly kicked me out of the house when I first told her.
Thanks for your feedback. It is indeed about her, i agree that through the chastity i can put my pleasure aside, be submissive to her and focus on her pleasure and feelings first. But in the end i think it should be beneficial and enjoyable to both of us. At least that would be my expectation. It is not a shame to enjoy the cage and orgasm denial i hope. I decided also not to push it on to her but like you and a few others said, i should behave differently by giving her much more attention and not focus on the chastity cage or lifestyle. I also ordered a new open metal cage. I hope this one will fit even better. To find the right one, it is by trial and error i undersand now. And since she is not yet into it that much, i will need to do it by myself first.