Hello folks, I and my wife have been playing with chastity since 2016. She was reluctant initially, but after a while got an idea to a certain degree. I think she wouldn't have played a Key Holder role if not the pressure from my side. She keeps the key now, but I am sure if there would be a chance for my right behaviour toward her without me beeing locked, whe would have prefered to have me unlocked. So, things are evolving, withot any passion from her side. I was trying different devices. Chineese (many), holy trainer, Steelworxx and finally Custom Chastity. I am travelling a lot and may have to fly somewhere on a short notice, so a steel cage is anacceptable because of airport security. Plastic Custom Chastity does not attracts any interest in an airport, so this is the way for me. If not travelling, I would have preferred to use a metal cage. Maximum perion of lock up for me was 11 days so far. I don't think I would like to go longer than this now, but I was dreaming in the beginning of long lock-ups - for one month. My wife also tends to keep me less locked - she likes my natural organ. So, here I am - sorry for poor English - I have never learnt or stayed long in English speaking country.
hi and welcome to the mansion it seems you and your wife have found a happy balance to suit you both. Enjoy.
Welcome, Your situation is very similar to mine. My suggestion is to go very slowly with her and when you are locked give her extra attention. I also think it is very important for her to know she can take it off whenever she wants and have access to you. Never try and stop her from taking it off. When she does take it off and wants sex make sure you take care of all her needs and make it feel as special to her as you can. After a while when she gets used to the special attention, access to your penis and great sex whenever she wants she will eventually start to see a benefit of the cage and hopefully be more interested in locking you up. That is what happened with me. I think you should also let her know that it helps you focus more on her and that makes you happy. I have the same issue with airports but usually have a day notice before traveling. Currently I just go unlocked because that is what she wants. I have a custom steel cage which is great but hoping eventually to get a plastic cage to change when I fly but still waiting for my wife to agree.
hello and please there is another man on here from Russia. I have forgot his name but I rember him cos he was in the chatroom once and he told me that it was -40 C and it was very very cold and I was wonder why he cud live there cos it was so cold. I dont know if he has writ in here tho.
Thank you Drews, I agree with every word of your text. Still I have (or my wife has) a problem. After being unlocked, I can't get hard for some time. When I caress my wife, she comes to the top of arousal, and if she then unlocks me, I got immediately flaccid. Even if I was dreaming of sex, was horny, haven't come for a week, was very hard in my cage, I still will immediately became flaccid after the cage was removed. I don't know why. It happens always in this way, even if it was me to beg her for the key. After say 10-20 minutes of being freed I can get hard and have sex, but not immediately. I think, that the fact that my wife can't have proper PIV sex when she is on the top of excitement - that frustrates her and killing all the game. I don't know what to do with this.
That is very strange about getting flaccid removing the cage. When my wife removes the cage I get immediately hard similar to when we just met when we were in our early twenties. I think that is why she embraced chastity. It was not that hard or intense before I was locked. I agree that your flaccid penis is her issue. Not to get too personal but does this happen if you were not locked? Just wondering if you are experiencing any type of anxiety? Hopefully someone else can give you some helpful advice. Good luck and hopefully you can make this work out so that you can both enjoy being locked up.
Possible (likely) it doesn't have anything (physical) to do with the cage. You're on the young side, but symptoms sound like it could be early stages of impotence -- have you had your cholesterol checked recently? It clogs and restricts blood flow to the penis as well as the heart. If so, this is also a warning sign for heart health -- either way you might want to consult your doctor.
I am not strong. Two-three times a week – that is my norm, when not caged. Normally I am not getting hard immediately, but only after some foreplaying. Still I think that my problem is mental. I am locked since Sunday (yesterday) and started blog here. There was an attempt to lock me the day before. My wife agreed. I put on the base ring allowing my wife to put on the cage, but after getting the ring on I became utmost hard. Trying to put the cage on turns me and I am getting rock hard. So we can't put the cage on and she asked for normal sex. I removed the base ring and... no erection at all, flaccid!!! My wife said, then go back into your cage, which I did, sort of. After I tried to put on the base ring just on testicles I became rock hard again - no chance to put a cage. So I quickly removed the base ring from testicles (no penis inside) and we had PIV sex. So, yes, I probably have a mental problem. The cage turns me on and I am getting hard instantly. My wife not that way, after 20 years together. That is probably what offends her. But what to do?
Unfortunately it sounds like the cage is giving you the complete opposite results of what is desired. Maybe on the weekend or a time you usually have sex have your wife leave the keys available to you. Remove the cage before you initiate sex with your wife that way it might take away your anxiety to perform instantly after the cage is removed. Ask her if she will put the cage back on as soon as you are finished and think that the way to get locked up again is to totally satisfy her and the cage will be back on soon. Make sure you ask her this with the full intent that you want this to make you a better husband and lover for her. Let her know you want to make her happy not satisfy your needs. Let her know that it upsets you knowing you can satisfy her more and ask her to help you become better. I hope something like this might help.
Yep. Actually my wife, knowing that I can't have an erection immediately after being uncaged, give me keys somewhat before sex. She may text me a message, when she is out of the house, where is the key. So I remove the cage and when she comes back hours later I can be ready for sex. Interestingly, I never mastrubate, no matter caged or not. That works for us.
I think getting her all excited and ready for sex and then you having to remove the cage and be ready for her immediately is putting a lot of stress on you and possibly causing the issue. What if you just simply ask her to remove the cage and hold her for a while then start getting her ready. The biggest thing I learned is it really needs to be what makes her the happiest. My wife was strongly against the cage for a long time. We worked it out for her to get what made her happy and now she loves it. Mostly me not masturbating and focusing my attention on her. That is what I really wanted also. I hope you guys find what works for you best.
There are quite a lot of people who despite having english as their first language are not as adept as yourself. So there is no need to apologise for yours