I could have called this Chapter Two… but the Hangover seemed more appropriate. When I first signed up for CM, I was a complete newbie and blessed with an amazing (virtual) keyholder. She and I met via FetLife and became immediate iFriends. Over the years we exchanged thousands of emails, texts, videos and pics. We knew enough about one another’s sexuality as two people can know from this type of communication. When she discovered my newly found interest in chastity, she graciously offer to be my virtual keyholder and Domme. Of course I agreed. She told me: “I am going to take you down the road to ruin. I will ruin your orgasms. I will ruin your cock. I will ruin your masculinity. I will ruin you for any other woman. You will submit to me. I will make you a submissive, cock craving sissy.” And she did. Lines were crossed, boundaries blurred and limits were pushed and they evolved. I experienced sub-space and sub-drop and, in time, became truly submissive to her. Pleasing her meant the world to me. And failing her? It broke my heart. I had a taste and I was addicted. Then, after six months, she abruptly ended our dynamic. She had fallen in love with her best friend growing up and felt as though she was cheating on him. I wished her well. It hurt, a lot. I was angry. I was lost. I was a mess. Depression and a little too much drinking followed. Attempting to self-lock was a disaster. It took time. A couple of months. But I eventually pulled my head out of my ass and got on with my journey and managed a 40 day lock-up to celebrate my one year anniversary of first being caged. It’s been six months since we split and it still aches a little bit. I still use her regiment while self-locking, and do think of her more than I should. But on the upside, I’m more in touch with my feminine side and more accepting of not only my bi-sexuality, but my submissiveness as well. I’m curious as to what the next chapter of my story will be.
I guess you take what learning and life experiences you can from every situation. And move on. Be grateful for what you had and what she taught you and how far you have advanced. And look to the next stage in your adventure. good luck
An update: My former Domme/keyholder and I have had a couple of long discussions about what went wrong and why. I think it’s always good to clear the air. Turns out she has missed our dynamic/relationship as much as I have and the things that were previously of concern have been resolved. We agreed to try again. So, no longer “former” Domme/keyholder. I’m both thrilled and nervous about this development. Stay tuned...
Glad to hear that you have reestablished some rapport with her. However, She may be interested in cucking you with Her new lover. Has she given you any ideas as to what will be happening ? Has she been strictly an online KH ? Perhaps she is ready to take another step with you in Her journey. Hope things continue to improve.
@JiL She and I have had sexual contact in the past, before the KH/sub dynamic developed. So far as keyholding goes, it’s been strictly online. Due to our real life sexual history, she was concerned about the temptation of it happening again under the new dynamic, hence our temporary separation. I don’t think she is willing to take the next step. I am okay with this.