It seems like most key holders are dommes. Are there any submissive key holders out there? If so how is the experience for the chastity person when their key holder is submissive? Is there any hope on changing a submissive KH to a domme KH?
I am a submissive. I am also a Keyholder (in-training) I'm looking for some insight too. I don't think there's a way to change one from a sub to a Domme, but that doesn't mean it can't work out.
In my BDSM experience there is no way to change a true submissive to a Dominant. You have a desire and a feel for it or not. This is not a value judgment, it is simple what I have seen and felt. There are, of course, many switches, so that is always something that some people discover when they try, However, if you have a partner who want to make it work they can accommodate some aspects of the role. The locked partner has to make clear what they enjoy and want and the KH has to adopt some that she can. Typically, this involves having the locked male perform services. Domestic, simply being required to be leashed and on the floor, or oral service as required. The key is to have a locked art er that will comply with requests that make the KH's life easier. Hope that helps some!
My wife is submissive in bed; but has a Dom personality when at work or making decisions. There are times she does very well with chastity n there r times I can go awhile with no play or domination or added chores.... It's a up and down playing field. The best I can explain it is be happy when the little Dom comes out!!!!
Interesting question. I was quite submissive when the boyfriend and I first started dating and he was quite Dom. When we discovered chastity about a year into our relationship, the whole dynamic slowly flipped. Now, although I have a very mild personality, I would not consider myself as sexually submissive as I once was. Whereas I used to absolutely LOVE getting spanked very hard, now he barely grazes my bottom and I'm telling him "NO!" So yes, I do believe that a submissive can turn into a Dominant, but only if she truly enjoys it and wants it, otherwise it seems like the chastised man is topping from the bottom so to speak since his KH truly isn't into it. When we first started chastity, it was VERY hard for me to keep him in his cage - he'd start whining at about day 2 and I'd inevitably give in because I love sex just as much as any guy does. As time went on, I felt more comfortable with him using various toys on me and letting him out less and less. Our longest lockup time was 10 days. We would have sex and then I'd lock him right back up. There was rarely anytime between sex and lockups. We were just about to start a two week lockup when we went and got him a PA piercing. So now, he has been uncaged for 6 weeks. It's definitely going to be interesting to see how he really acts once he is securely in his new custom PA cage, since it is essentially inescapable.
Indeed ma'am, knowing us men, I'm sure he was occasionally pulling out and sneaking in a quick jerk, but now when you say 2 weeks, he will have no choice but to go 2 weeks, like it or not. It was very smart of you to get him pierced. It's been great to follow along and witness you getting more and more serious about his chastity and achieving the full benefits as a woman. Please keep us posted.
I definitely will post updates once he is actually able to wear his cage. His PA is still healing and is in the "maturing" phase now - He's had it for 7 weeks now, so we still have a bit to go. I have been using the KTB on him more and more...he hates it ;-)
I am soooo looking forward to your updates @Thatgirl when he is finally locked up again! My Wife is truly finding her dominant side the more we get into this. In 11 months she has gone from locking me up for a few days, to a few weeks, to four or five weeks, to a few months. She hasn't said much about this current period but she has hinted that it is again going to be longer. Before this she was never dominant but she is getting more and more assertive as time passes. The simple fact is she has needed a lot of constant verification that I am enjoying what she is doing and this has helped her confidence. I have no idea how far this will go and I am not rushing it. It will be what it will be.
O yes. Once in the new device, and it's settled, IMO you'll be into a whole new dimension. Key well inaccessible, and you can keep him secured as long as you like. The sky's the limit.