First Time

I have just started day 5 of my first real lockup. So far there have been no issues, my device fits well with only some morning wood discomfort.

I don't think there has been a moment when I'm awake that I am not thinking about it, I really enjoy the weight, but it never lets me forget I am wearing it. I find myself dripping all the time, and I really want sex!

My KH is really enjoying it too. She has made sure I am aware of how much control she has over me and is thriving with that power.

The plan was for me to be released this weekend, but she said this morning that since I am doing so well in the device that she wants to take that off the table, extend the lockup without letting me know when my release date will be!

While I am really enjoying being locked up, knowing a release date has made this somewhat easy so far. Now that that has changed and I find myself very turned on by the idea, yet also worried...lol

I can't deny when she said that I immediately got an erection (not that it takes much now) so I know I would only be fooling myself if I said no and this is what I signed up for to begin with. It will be interesting to see what happens in the coming days or weeks.

 

I made it through my first 7 days of chastity, I was allowed release last night but I came away feeling somewhat "neglected" if that's the right term. Unfortunatly my KH had a migraine during the day from pushing herself to hard, even though I told her to hold off on what she was doing and I would come down to help, when she arrived she was understandably out of sorts.

Since this was our first week, I was expecting a very wild night. Instead I was unlocked for vanilla sex and that was it. Now we rarely have vanilla sex to begin with, we are pretty heavy into BDSM so this was a real shock. She could tell I was upset, I was very frustrated thinking it would have been better off if she had just stayed home and recovered from the migraine instead of that. I had my hopes and expectations set very high and was rather pissed about the whole thing. Afterwords she just fell asleep and I went out to watch tv, when I finally did go to bed I had trouble sleeping and woke up rather early.

I was sitting having coffee reflecting on what had happened, if this as such a good idea to begin with, was I expecting to much, a host of other things.......pure frustration! I realized it was very selfish of me to be thinking that way, she went out of her way, not feeling well to make sure I had some attention. Needless to say, I felt VERY guilty for the way I acted.

When she got up this morning I wasn't sure how she was going to be about the whole situation. Since we don't live together full time, when she goes off to work this morning we won't see each other until the middle of the week. We both were going through our normal routines, not even talking about what happened. I was still unlocked and I decided not to bring it up, just before she was getting ready to leave, she said its time to lock you back up!

I didn't know what to say, I just agreed, she helped me get it on as I was very arroused, clicked the lock with an evil smlie on her face and put the key around her neck. I told her how sorry I was about the way I had acted and she apologized to me for for pushing herself to hard and not feeling well last night as she knew how important this first week was. She never ceases to amaze me at times!

We gave each other a big hug feeling good about our situation and she went off to work. I am still feeling guilty and will make it up to her this week. I know we will have many ups and downs on this journey, being a typical man my mindset is I want what I want, when I want it, the truth is I willingly gave her the keys because I wanted this, I can't try to top from the bottom or this will never work and I need to be more understanding.

One of the biggest reasons I wanted to start chastity is from reading about how much better it makes the chaste male treat his KH. I want to be a better partner and not be so selfish in my actions. We both have to find our way with this and the fact is I am lucky to have her!

 

I'm now a couple weeks into this being locked 24/7 with only about 6 hours of release during that time. Last night we were together, we had a nice dinner and headed to the bedroom. She was very horny, so she asked me to give some serious attention to her nipples and then several rounds of oral. She had multiple orgasms and was felling very good.

I remained locked up, I was straining against my cage, felt like morning wood! I was sure she would let me out for sex, but instead she got an angled bullet vibrator and began to work my prostate. Now I'm no stranger to anal play, we both enjoy it, I have had strapon's, dildo's, estim plugs, you name it, but never without any penile stimulation.

This was intense! She was working me over pretty good with the vibrator as well as giving my balls a lot of attention, after about 15 min or so I felt like I was going to cum and told her, she kept at it and to be honest I'm not sure what happened. I know I didn't cum, it felt like an orgasm, but it wasn't. All I know is it left me like a puddle of mud...lol. Something totally different in the absence of penile stimulation.

We woke up this morning, I gave her more oral and we both went off to work. Funny thing is I am even more horny today then I was the night before, I have been dripping all day, can't seem to stay focused and have nothing but sex on the brain. Not sure what to make of all this but we are both loving it!

 

We are heading into week 3 of me being locked up, I must say my mood has been great as well as my K/H and I am pretty amazed at how my focus is beginning to change. All I seem to want to do is please her, not worried about myself....not normal for me!


We spent Sunday and Monday together as she had the day off, both nights were wild. Sunday evening she didn't unlock me, was teasing me a lot, she had me get her off several times orally and with my hands. She then had me on my back, knees up with my hands cuffed to my ankles, then she used the prostate massager on me while playing with herself, it felt so good, I wanted to cum so bad, she kept edging me right to the point of cumming but would stop just short.

I still can't believe how different it feels when locked up with no penile stimulation. I was leaking precum like I've never seen before. This went on for almost an hour, then she stopped and called it a night. She said if I was good I would be able to have sex the next night. What was surprising is I really felt good, didn't feel cheated by any means and fixed my sights on the next evening.

All I could think about the next day was having sex and cumming, as much as I tried I couldn't get it out of my mind for more then a few minutes. I was straining against my cage many times throughout the day with precum dripping down my leg often. We had a nice dinner, showered, watched some tv and went into the bedroom.

I was so horny, couldn't wait to get my hands on her. She unlocked me and started giving me oral, teasing me about how bad I wanted to cum. She climbed on top and stated to ride me as I played with her nipples. We rolled over and I entered her, what a rush.

As I start to really get into it she tells me she doesn't want me to cum! I was floored to say the least but since I asked for this I did as I was told. I had to stop many times to let things cool down and I wanted it to last as long as I possibly could, she had several orgasms and after one really good one told me to stop. She had me to put my cage back on and if I was good for the rest of the evening we could have sex in the morning before work. I really didn't want to stop but I did.

Reluctantly I put the cage back on, no easy task at that time! It was a rough night trying to sleep, I had what felt like an erection all night, I couldn't keep my hands off her in bed and I have never been a "cuddly" type person. Morning couldn't come fast enough and when it finally did, true to her word she unlocked me.

I immediately climbed on her and I can't describe how good it felt. I just started getting into it when she looked at me and said you're not allowed to cum! I was floored! I reminded her it had been over a week since my last orgasm, we wouldn't be seeing each other at all next week until late Sunday evening and that we would both be exhausted from traveling when we do. She informed me she was well aware of that and it didn't matter.

I once again tried to make it last as long as I could stopping several times to avoid cumming. Once she had her third orgasm she said that was enough, got up to go in the shower and told me to have the cage back on, lock in yet still unlocked when she came out.

I did as she asked, she came out of the shower, looked me over and snapped the lock shut. She got dressed for work and left. Now I really thought I would be totally disappointed but I wasn't, I was really happy about how much she is getting into being the keyholder. She seems to be getting off on it herself. I once again didn't feel cheated, I felt and still do feel good.

I haven't gone this long without an orgasm since I learned to masturbate as a kid except when I was going through chemo and radiation. I am entering new waters and yet I feel really good about it. What truly keeps amazing me at this point is how much I enjoy not being able to cum! Vey strange!!!

We won't see each other again until Sunday night, that will be a full 2 weeks for me without an orgasm. At this point I'm not sure I will be allowed an orgasm then. I know it's not that much time for many, but at this point and time it is for me..... It going to be a long week!

 

Round 2

After the first month went so well we decided we wanted to continue with chastity and that we needed to make a few changes.

We didn't like the fact I could slip out the back of the cage, I had a frenulum piercing that I had to remove a year and a half ago because of medical reasons. I decided I would pierce it again and as I started looking where I had the old one, I noticed that the hole was still there! I was able to get an 8G in with no issues.

We then got a Bon4, I liked the look and weight of it and figured that design would work well with a small stainless wire rope that goes through a solid ring on the piercing, and attaches to the lock so there is no way I can pull out. I made a new base ring for it as I prefer a solid ring, I need a non standard size opening and there was no way to adjust the ring gap with the stock setup. I got the gap to the 3/8 that works best for me. I tumbled the cage and gave it a good polishing to remove any edges that could pinch.

I have been testing out the new setup and everything works great, I was even able to ride my motorcycle on a very long trip with no issues at all. I am now locked up again and she has the key. At first she was looking at it as more of a punishment type thing for BDSM play, now she see's it as a symbol and tool of my willingness for a better relationship. She is thrilled about it.

We now have a device that there is no possible way for me to have access to my penis without her letting me out or cutting the lock off. I gave her all my lock picking tools, I learned to pick locks years ago for a business I had and can get in or out of almost anything.

Last night we had some great oral and piv where I was not allowed to cum, we were both spent at the end of it. This round will be a minimum of 2 months. We are very excited about it, to be honest I am amazed at how much my attitude changes when I am locked up and really like how much it improves our relationship, she is as well and I can tell will be taking full advantage of it.

We will see what happens in the upcoming weeks

 

Thanks everyone for the support.
Yes it's been interesting to say the least. We had a wonderful weekend, I gave her oral for 3 nights in a row and had PIV 3 nights in a row without cumming. I am surprised I was able to hold out myself, she is really starting to get into this and I am really enjoying how much it has improved my attitude and demeanor towards her.

I hope it's not just because all this is "new" and things keep getting better, I don't know when I will be allowed to cum, we decided not to set any dates or timeline for it. While part of me really wants to cum, the other part really enjoys not cumming! I never would have guessed that in my wildest dreams.

So far we are both glad we have started this journey.

 

This was a very interesting weekend, first my K/H informed me I would not be having a full orgasm for 3 months. I was both excited but also a bit worried as this was not really what we had discussed when starting this. She informed me it was something she had read in a link I sent, she liked the idea and since I gave her control and wanted to do this, I would have to deal with it. There wasn't much I could say, she was right.

On Saturday night she edged me for literally 2 hours with a dildo and hand job tied to the bed, I was beside myself I wanted to cum so bad. I figured she would eventually have me give her PIV with orders not to cum since she normally enjoys that, instead she stopped abruptly and locked my cage back on before untying me. I was frustrated to say the least!

The next day we were taking a motorcycle ride out to one of our favorite places with a friend of ours who is not kinky in any way, had a hard day's ride in the heat, big dinner, everything was great. We took our showers and got ready for bed. I didn't think anything was going to happen since we were both tired and you can hear everything in this place, but she told me to start playing with and sucking on her nipples. I was happy to do that! She began getting very turned on, removed the necklace with the key and unlocked me. She told me to fuck her and I jumped right in, now it's pretty much a standing order now I am not to cum unless told to. Considering what she had said the day before I figured I would be getting her off and then get locked up again.

Now we are trying not to make any noise as the walls are thin and we didn't want our friend in the other room to hear, I had to keep stopping from time to time to prevent myself from cumming and she kept telling me how good I was to stop and not cum without permission. I had to stop yet again when she was close to cumming herself when she said the magic words "you can cum" I didn't need to be told twice! It was amazing how much my mindset changed knowing I could cum, I really went to town yet had to be as silent as possible, she knew this and played into it, whispering all kinds of things to me, driving me crazy and then started with "cum in me now".

I had the most amazing multiple orgasm of my life she came at the same time, it was incredible! After 18 days (I know not much to many on here) it really was indescribable he good it felt! We lay there for a few minutes talking about it, she told me to clean myself off and immediate locked me back up. She was saying how happy she was for me having such a great orgasm and to just think how good the next one will be as the days in between will only go up from here, I didn't even protest this time, it was so worth the wait.

I did notice my post orgasm drop was not as bad with waiting so long, I think being locked right back up helped a lot as well. I also had incredible erections all night long for some reason, not just morning wood.

We rode back home Monday, we were both very tired and she just rubbed my balls and cage a bit before we went to bed. This morning she told me how happy she is we started with chastity, she loves how much "kinder, gentler and affectionate" I am. I couldn't argue, it's true. That's one of the main reasons I wanted to start chastity, to treat her better. So far it's all working well and I am a bit worried at just how fast she has embraced the K/H role...that old be careful what you wish for thing....lol. I have always been the alpha in the relationship and for the most part that hasn't changed except when it comes to my orgasms. I gave her control over them, we both like the results we are getting from it and I am content to let her have that control.

 

I think once the light bulb goes on as to how much better the relationship is for our key holders, they really begin to embrace the lifestyle. I know at first mine looked at chastity itself, the cage, tease and denial as more of a punishment, it took reassuring from me that it wasn't and now she knows that it's not. Once she understood that and saw the results first hand, she really started to enjoy it. I will be traveling soon and we won't be seeing each other for about ten days, last time she was concerned about me going away while wearing the cage, now the conversation was about managing the emergency key. No way she was letting me go without wearing it!

 

I haven't updated this in a few weeks as life has been very busy and we have both been traveling often. With that said we are really enjoying chastity, she is totally into the role as K/H now, much more then I thought she ever would. While we had a good relationship and sex life before we started, it is getting even better. I don't think either one of us expected things to change as much as they have in such a short time. We have discussed all this and she has made it ubundantly clear she wants to keep me locked up full time, as of this point I'm fine with that.

I will be going away for a week to 10 days tomorrow and the only discussion we had about me being in the device was once again managing the emergency key, I now have a realtors lock box with a spare key I carry with me. What started as some kinky fun has now turned into a lifestyle choice that neither one of us is willing to give up.

 

I am getting close to being locked for 2 months solid it this point, I haven't had an orgasm in over three weeks or been out of my cage, it will be at least another week before that may happen. I say may as my K/H stated last night that "wait I will", both a huge turn on and frightening at the same time!

Our relationship is really going well, we did have a bump last week that was caused by me. I was stressed, tired and felt neglected and that I was doing this alone. After we discussed it, we got it all worked out with no hard feelings. She has been teasing the hell out of me even thought we're apart and I love it!

All and all we are both really enjoying this, we had set an end date for this "beta" run, it was supposed to end on 8/3/16, but that's now off the table and we no longer set any dates for anything, it's all in her hands.

I did make a new cage that incorporated my frenulum piercing, it is really working well. Due to an unforeseen accident, I will be on the road longer then I thought, I have had to use public restrooms for over 2000 miles of travel and have used the urinal in every one with no problems. There is also no possible way to cheat or escape without her knowing, I really needed this for my own mindset and it has had a tremendous impact on me.

I can't wait to get home and see her again, I miss her more then I ever have and want her so badly I can't even describe it. This is all due to chastity, I am so happy we started this lifestyle!

 

I agree that our previous BDSM lifestyle really helped with this. We were both into BDSM long before we even met, it has lead to a great sex life these last 10 years.

I can't figure out why it excites me either when I'm told I can't cum, but it does and I'm okay wth that. As far as PIV without cumming, when I was young I read about basically edging yourself over and over to learn how to control when you cum, I had been doing it since I was a kid and now it's paying off in spades! My guess is if you practice some, you will find you can go longer and longer each time. I am at the point now that it seems I can't cum without her telling me I can! I am still struggling with this and how quickly it happened.

 

Last night I finally saw my K/H after a couple weeks traveling, I was so happy and excited to see her. Since we started chastity my feelings towards her have really intensified, we had a great time catching up on things and then she decided it was time for some play. I was told to get naked and go upstairs where we have all our BDSM gear so I knew this was going to be good.

She teased me for awhile, whispering all kinds of things in my ear while placing a collar and blindfold on, applied the wrist cuffs, then had me bend over and inserted an anal hook with a ball on the end. She tied them all together to the ceiling hook in some fashion with my hands behind my back so every time I moved it would pull up on the hook. I was dripping uncontrollably and she laughed and came up behind me so my hands could feel how much she was dripping herself. Now she always gets pretty wet, but this was different, she was really turned on and that in turn, turned me on even more!

She worked on my nipples, began flogging me and playing with my still caged cock, now it's been awhile since I had any kind of orgasm and I haven't been out of the cage in almost a month, it was crazy! She was taking her hand, wiping up her juices and smearing them across my face and mouth, she knows how much I love the smell and taste of her and she was working me up into a frenzy, telling me how she knew how badly I wanted to please her orally and she wasn't sure if she would let me. Then I heard the buzz of the hitachi wand, I was hoping she was going to use it on me against the cage, but instead she asked if I could hear it and preceded to get herself off with it, there was no doubt when she had an orgasm, she was loud. All I could do was stand there and listen while the ball end on the hook rubbed against my prostate, it was intense. I then felt her start to untie me, she placed me on my knees, laid down in front of me and said I could now give her oral.

I dove right in, she was so wet, tasted so good I loved it, now she is a squirter and it didn't take long until I felt her tense up and release all over my face. I swallowed down as much as I could and kept going. This continued for quite awhile, I lost track of how many orgasms she had but I was drenched and felt like I could go on forever. She told me to stop and get back on my knees. I could then feel something clanking against my cage, she asked if I knew what it was , I said I'm hoping the key! She laughed and said that's right, since I had done such a good job she was going to let me out.

I could feel her open the lock, remove the frenium piercing bar/cable that keeps me honest, then remove the cage. I can't even put into words how good her hands felt rubbing my now, finally, fully erect cock! I almost had an orgasm at that moment. She then told me she wanted to feel me inside her, I was thinking great, after a month I'm going to get to cum! Then she uttered the words, but don't you dare cum!!! I have to say, as badly as I wanted to cum, this turned me on even more. I made love to her like I was a teenager again, it was very difficult not to cum, I had to slow down and stop several times to prevent it. She had several orgasms and then told me it was time to stop, I really thought she would change her mind and allow me to cum once we started as she loves feeling me cum inside her, I was wrong. I tried to continue for a little while, but she put a stop to that, removed the blindfold and told me to get back on my knees, grabbed the cage and said I was going right back in.

Now I am very erect, it didn't want to go down at all, she asked me how we were going to get it back in and I said just push it slow and it will eventually go in. I'm a big time grower so my cage is very small, I think she was afraid of hurting me by pushing it on and exclaimed this isn't going to work, she was going to get some ice! I said to wait and I will show you how, I did NOT want the ice. I began pushing it on and reassuring her it wasn't painful so she won't have any fear of doing it in the future. It took awhile but I finally got it in and she applied the lock saying how much she enjoyed the sound of it clicking shut. There I was, still horny as hell, still not allowed to orgasm and I love her for for it.

We have only been doing this chastity thing a few months now, I am astounded by how much she has taken the lead role as K/H, she really loves what it's done for our relationship as do I. The fact she is so turned on and excited about all of it makes it very easy for me to continue with it. I love the way I treat her on a daily basis now, even though we've been together and kinky for 10 years now this is different. I wouldn't trade it for anything and hope it continues to improve.

 

Yesterday was a great day, we got caught up on things around the house and went out for a nice dinner. Got ready for bed and she took out the key right away and unlocked me. Next thing I know she was giving me a wonderful blow job, I was really fighting the urge to cum since she hadn't given me permission and she doesn't inform me what her plans are.

She stopped and asked me if I would like sex, silly question....I enthusiastically replied yes, that wasn't good enough. She said I didn't sound like I really waned sex and would have to do better then that. At that point I really started begging, she kept telling me not good enough and laughing as was I. Finally she said okay and I proceeded to climb on when once again she tells me just remember, I don't want you to cum! I really was shocked, I thought for sure tonight would be my night. We began having sex and I really had a hard time not cumming, usually I can control it very well but it's been a long time, I was very worked up and found it very difficult. She was enjoying my dilemma, and told me so as she dug her nails into my ass and once again whispered don't you dare cum. I had to stop to avoid it and she said that's enough and pushed me off.

I was lying on my back and she teased me about how she knew how badly I wanted to cum while playing with my cock. She began stroking me and palming the head, I was squirming all over the place. She said to tell her when I was close to cumming, over and over she edged me right to the brink, stopping and squeezing hard, it was amazing! After I don't know how many times, it happened.....my first ever ruined orgasm. My cum flowed out, she said she could feel it work its way up the shaft, I don't think I ever had that much come out before.

Since neither of us had ever done this before we really weren't sure if it was a true ruined orgasm or I just went over the edge. She was really happy with her results, I remained rock hard and horny. It seems she got it perfect, now I have to say I find the term "ruined" a bit misleading. There is no question that it's frustrating at the moment of orgasm to have stimulation stopped, it's just not natural, however all the teasing and stopping leading up to it is incredible. I have to admit I really enjoyed it and feel like nothing was "ruined". She was happy, I felt great and had no drop and in a strange way felt very satisfied. I was happy for her as well since she really seemed to enjoy it and told me so.

We really had to struggle to get me right back in the cage, we were laughing about how hard I remained and that this would not be an issue had I had a full real orgasm, once again when the lock clicked shut she had a big smile and told me how much she loves the sound and meaning of it. We had a kiss goodnight, snuggled up to one another and went to sleep.

I just can't say how much this is doing for our relationship, ours was pretty good before we started chastity. When we first started we read about people who were locked all the time and denied orgasms for long periods of time. Both of us were not turned on at all about the idea of keeping me locked all the time and not having full orgasms. She loves getting me off, as many women do with their men. But as we continue to explore and learn it's becoming obvious that instead of feeling deprived or missing anything, we are growing even closer together with an absolutely amazing sex life......who knew!

 

Last night we went to bed and she started to play with me and unlocked me. She had mentioned erlier in the day how she was going to give me another ruined orgasm for practice reasons..lol. She was teasing me for a long time, edging me over and over. It got to the point I wasn't able to hold back and told her so, that she had better slow down or stop or I was going to cum. She said I could cum......it had been a month so after she said that it was just a matter of seconds and I exploded! I don't think I have shot a load of cum that big, or that far since my younger days.

As usual after we cleaned up she immediately locked me back up, I was shot and just rolled over and went to sleep. This morning we talked about how I felt, I told her I felt OK but there is a definite change. I feel the drop, not horny at all, normally in the mornings now I like to cuddle up to her before we get out of bed yet she had to ask me to do it. Chastity is really becoming a double edged sword for me, as badly as I want to cum, afterwords I wish I hadn't. Not really sure what to make of it yet, just thought I would write it down while it's still fresh.

 

No question about it! She was really working me over, I tried to hold off as long as I could but with her telling me to cum it was hopeless. Luckily for me she really enjoys getting me off so I was surprised she went a month without doing it. Since she gets all the sex she wants from me anyway, I have to be really careful my drop isn't so obvious that she prolongs it if I turn crabby now...lol

 

Last night me and my K/H got together as its the last time we would be able to see each other for at least a couple weeks. It was really a great night, what really made it good was how much she is enjoying the role of K/H now. At first she wasn't sure what to do, it almost seemed as if she was just doing it to appease me even though she said she wasn't. But last night proved to me she is getting off on it in more ways than one.

I am leaving on a trip Sunday and she is leaving for one tomorrow, I will be crossing the border a couple times, we discussed options for me wearing my device but in the end decided it just wasn't worth the risk. She asked me what I expected and wanted for the evening and I told her, PIV with me being allowed to cum. I figured it was a slam dunk because I know she wants it before I go, and this is our last chance.

She told me she's not so sure I deserve it and I need to make my case! I started to laugh, and explain the situation and why this is a perfect time. She started to ask me all kinds of questions, as in "when was the last time we had sex and you were allowed to cum?" "When was the last time you came?" "I think you need to beg for it if you want it" Things of that nature. Now I know she's not good with keeping track of dates, just the way she is, so I proceeded to tell her when and how MY last orgasms occurred, there had only been two in the last two months so it wasn't hard for me to remember. She has had plenty, and claimed she couldn't keep track of mine.

I was really laughing while answering these and she told me I don't sound like I am really that desperate, that I'm not really begging, if I was I wouldn't be laughing about it. I told her I can't help it, the begging part felt kind of embarrassing to me and I told her so. She said that's to bad, I would have to do better.

She then told me to start playing with her nipples and breasts, she can have an orgasm just from breast play. I did what I was told and while I'm doing it she starts to remind me to think about when she is going to let me top her and have my way. We're both switches so it's nothing new although I haven't played the top role in months. She says one day I'm going to say it's your turn and you better be ready, I told her I have been thinking about it and am just waiting for that day, hoping it was that night!

She then had me reach down to feel how wet she was and told me to go down on her, she laid back spreading her lips and I just dove in. I brought her to several orgasms and she asked if I would like to have sex. What an insane question! Of course I do, she says, "that doesn't sound like begging to me" then it happened, I begged....I begged, pleaded there was no laughing just me begging to fuck her. She said that's what I wanted to hear, reached over, got the key and proceeded to unlock me.


Now we've been together a long time, we have always had a great sex life filled with kink. When I say this was some of the best sex either of us have had I'm not exaggerating. She had many orgasms and mine was mind blowing. When we were done we were both spent, the bed was drenched, we were drenched in sweat, it was incredible.

I can't emphasize enough how much chastity has enhanced our relationship. It obvious this is going to be a lifestyle for us, we discussed it last night afterwords and we both agreed. She loves the role of K/H and "all the guilt free oral she wants", it seems very natural for her now. I try very hard not to top from the bottom and let her find her own way and she has, even when I'm not happy about the outcome......lol

I know this is already long but I just have to say that at the moment I'm out of my device and will be for a couple weeks or more. I feel very naked without it and it's not just physical, it's mental as well. I almost feel like I'm cheating or something when I know it's not the case. She asked me if I would be able to refrain from getting myself off while I'm away, I laughed again. I told her I really doubt it, she said she understood and it was okay, just to think about her when I do and tell her.

As I was leaving this morning I asked her if I should take the device home with me, I didn't see it on the nightstand. She said no, she was keeping it with a big smile on her face. I didn't say another word.