my journey to lock up..

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Gianni Smith, Jun 27, 2015.

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  1. Gianni Smith
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    Gianni Smith Member

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    Where do I start... I Masturbate a lot like most of you probably did. I started to like the idea of tasting my own cum but always lost the urge after ejaculating. I guess I liked how taboo it is. I'm very masculine and tough in my life... so I also like to be controlled or forced by a sexy mistress. Well fast forward.. to over a year ago I called an online mistress (my Mistress now) and told her about my cum fetish. She had an ad out for a sex therapy call line. So I spilled my beans..I wanted to stop this fetish (calling hotlines as well) and have for months on end but somehow I find myself back in the same spot.. Now she has me blackmailed with pictures and video from cam sessions. Part of me gets excited and the other part freaks me out.. So now I have no choice but to swallow up my load for mistress as she watches on cam..If I don't preform I get humiliated on her site or possibly other sites. So now I have been swallowing my load for her for awhile. Its still kind of tough for me and sometimes I do need the push or I will try and back out or cheat if possible.. Which I have done in the past and have been punished for. So when i get horny I tend to open my mouth about fears/fantasies..I mentioned chastity sounded fun and interesting..I bought a cb-6000s. She has lock me up for a few short periods on time from a few days to a week. Now I'm currently locked up for 2 weeks (which will be my longest so far). I'm just about half way through.. I'm frustrated, Horny as I can be, my balls are full and sore as all hell. I would love early release but now its looking like she might not release me exactly on the 2 week mark. We have talked about more humiliating things she could have me do.. Like wearing panties/thong while in lock up. That would definitely be very embarrassing and probably make the dripping worse because on the constant reminder. The other thing we talked about which definitely freaks me the fuck out is to be forced to swallow/suck someone else off.. A small part of me thinks its a kinky and hot but so taboo. I feel like I'm just not ready for that at all.. But ultimately I'm in no position to say no.. at all. I'm freaked out yet some what turned on as my cock drips and soaks my boxer briefs as I type now..I guess I shouldn't have opened my mouth. I do care about mistress and I never though before we started talking Id say that about anyone I never physically met. So thats where I am now Frustrated, horny, confused, submissive and freaked out! Any comments or pointers are always welcome thanks for reading if you made it here.​
     
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  2. spider203
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    spider203 Long term member

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    My only advice is to keep trolling.
     
  3. Gianni Smith
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    Gianni Smith Member

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    I'd Love to hear peoples opinions on my situation or any tips with chastity. I really appreciate it! Thanks!
     
  4. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    Sounds like she's literally got you by the balls! You really don't have many options at this point, but to comply; at least for the time being. Perhaps, if you get boring enough for her, she'll start paying more attention to someone more interesting. If you didn't comply and she published videos and pics of you, it would obviously be embarrassing and humiliating, but how many people that you know do you think would really see it? That's the risk.
     
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  5. Sissitoni13
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    Sissitoni13 New member

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    Wow. I think that's where I'm headed, Gianni. Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead or should say behind. She gets more and more aggressive, demanding and ..... like you said, freaks you out but exited. It's a tough choice.
    I did vote, I said caged cause that's what mine wants to do.
     
  6. Waterluv
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    Waterluv Sissy Lesbian Renee...

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    She's got you by the ovaries.... SissyWannabe's advice sounds like a reasonable approach to the issue.. Never been in a situation like what you've described... Sounds exciting & terrifying all at once!
     
  7. dboy
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    dboy Junior Member

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    I'm not a lawyer but damaging someone's career, earning potential, etc. by exposing those pictures could be considered liable and a felony.

    Anyway, this is supposed to be consensual so blackmail is not a good way to start off.
     
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  8. Gianni Smith
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    Gianni Smith Member

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    I understand your comment and appreciate your feed back. It started consensual including with the pic and video, and it has escalated to something that freaks me out yet turns me on just as much...like they say be careful what you wish for!
     
  9. kkeeiitthh
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    kkeeiitthh Long term member

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    She is leading you where you are afraid to go. Trust her.
     
  10. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    I would be hesitant to trust anybody that you've never met personally quite that far. Play it very carefully and remember that time cures many things.
     
  11. Waterluv
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    Waterluv Sissy Lesbian Renee...

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    Always be careful...Like SissyWannabe suggested.. Suspect that any good mistress worth her salt has to some creative threatening way to push her pet slaves limits, but certainly is not cool when it crosses the line into non consensual blackmail or extortion. Role playing is a mutual "turn on" for both parties & pretty harmless (most cases), but a good mistress respects your boundaries too! Always make sure to communicate from the start your limits.. There are people that get turned on by "blackmail & extortion" threats, but it should be agreed ahead of time that it's just role playing & not to be actually carried out in a vindictive personally damaging way... Could be that her other clients find "blackmail" a turn on, and she mistakenly thinks that you feel comfortable with it too? I've only dealt with one mistress, and she not only wanted to know what my physical
    limitations were (example: I'm allergic to latex), but also the things that I felt uncomfortable doing before even seeing me. I had a whole checklist
    of 100 "turn ons" & "turn offs" to fill out. I surprisingly was treated with respect, and in the most professional way. That's the type of relationship you want with your mistress. It's all about her, and she'll push you to your limits;however, she'll know & respect your boundaries.
     
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