my new chastity journey.

Last sunday I got locked up (2/2/14).
This will be a mini blog of my journey.

I left my Mistresses home after being locked and went straight to work for a 12 hour night shift.
Had no problems apart from the usual getting used to having something "alien" around my penis and balls.

On monday I had a major sleep day due to lack of sleep during the weekend (sorting car for MOT on Saturday daytime and working Saturday night then seeing my Mistress sunday daytime then working sunday night ).

Woke up on tuesday morning and was a little uncomfortable and tried adjusting the device which helped a little bit, however, at lunchtime when I sat down I had a "ball pull through" which was a bit painful, to say the least.

I took the device off and replaced it again, this time it felt more comfortable for some reason, and wore It the rest of the day with no problems.

Had a bit of an issue yesterday but that's due to me getting "hot " down there and managed to adjust the device while still locked to help sort this out and when I got home after being out with friends a nice cool wash helped immensely.

These are just teething problems with me wearing a new device and so far things are going well and i'm looking forward to this journey in chastity under the control of my new Mistress.

Back at work today and things are good with the device today and no problems last night so all is well .

 

@starflyer thank you, from previous attempts at self locking (previous devices didn't work outeither) I was expecting some early teething problems and, like you said, I know things will get easier over time.
It feels nice to be out of control of when my next orgasm will be as well now also

 

I've now been locked for 7 days ,
Teething problems seem to be over now and yesterday (saturday) the little soreness kind of issues suddenly stopped, just like when breaking in a pair of new shoes and they stop being sore after a few days, it just clicked and feels great not having the little problems anymore.
I had got back in to the habit of having daily orgasms again before this and they didn't feel special and I was so used to just having my hands do it and the way i was used to doing it, and of course my imagination, if i'm being totally honest with myself the orgasms weren't special or fulfilling.
I'm starting to get life back into my penis now and now getting them nicer feelings of being hard without imagining a big fantasy scenerio which feels strangley good because I can't orgasm it out of my system.

While I have spoken with my keyholder and she checked to make sure I was comfortable etc I haven't asked her when my next orgasm will be(i don't want to bug her and i'm trying to prove that it's her as a person i'm trying to please and not just kink relationship with her and hopefully she will become more confident in her role as Mistress and we can see where this journey takes us together.

 

Yesterday was day 7 and I went to see my Mistress after work, she asked me if I wanted to be unlocked for the night (I was spending the night with her) .
I said best not to because I would be tempted to touch myself and i wanted her to enjoy the evening without me asking her for an orgasm (I would have been very tempted and I want to show her what fun she can have teasing me while i'm inside my cage).
Without going into too much detail Mistress had plenty of orgasms last night and boy did she tease her cock and she thoroughly enjoyed doing it and wow it was so mind blowing (I knew if I had been free I would have begged her for an orgasm and I want her to take control of when and how I orgasm).
Mistress did mention about cock rings the said about she had heard that too much build up is bad for man's health.
I said I didn't think there is much danger, however most people on forums like this do it once a month and she smiled and said oh a few weeks left then .
I have asked her for an orgasm on the1st of March though (that's my birthday weekend and Mistress has agreed to that so now i'm on acountdown to then.

I'm trying not to bottom from the top on the chastity side of our relationship and slowly Mistress is "getting the hang of it" and will be in full control soon.

Last night was amazing and ii was frustrated and happy all at the same time.

 

Latest update:-
Been locked for 16days now
Still topping from the bottom and sent Mistress a long message explaining about chastity and benefits to her and how more it makes me want to please her etc (she asked for it to help her understand aa bit more).
Mistress enjoys teasing me inside my cage, however, she still new and I had the chance of an orgasm this last weekend and I told her that I would rather wait until the 1st of March because it will be more special.
I'm still not sure she getting it, however, i'm not bugging her about it and will see how the future goes (I don't want to come across as a "do me" sub because I genuinly want to help and serve her.
We had a lovely vanilla weekend last weekend and while I was hoping for some play I didn't ask her because I want her to play when she is happy and comfortable and not because "I suppose i'd better to shut him up " or "sympathy play".
It was nice spending time snuggling and cuddling together and finding out more about our outside of kink interests.
Only time will tell as to whether we morph into a mainly vanilla relationship with a little kink or we progress into the type of relationship we both talked about at the beginning and i'm treading carefully trying not to bug her about it.
She is so lovely and I hope in the near future I won't have to top from the bottom when it comes to chastity and or Mistress/Sub and I can build my pain threshold up to please her and she gives me the punishment strokes she said I had accrued (which I wasn't looking forward to but willing to take and never happend the last weekend) and seeing as Mistress is new to being a Domme outside if the odd play session etc i've got to be patient and see where this goes.

I'm hoping it doesn't turn into another "i'm too comfortable with you I don't want to hurt you " relationships but only time will tell.

 

I had a "ball pull through "earlier in the week while I was at work and I had to use the emergency key to discreetly unlock and remove the device when I got back to the control room (I was a 3 min walk from my key at the time after taking samples to our lab for testing the product we make).
When I went to put the device on again later on my balls kept hiding away (I posted a thread on this) not while I was putting it on (I was given great tips on how to do this last year) but when the ring was on my balls started hiding away.
One of the responses on the thread was about the cold weather and how that can affect the balls and I realised that when i was trying to put the device on i was rushing it and my flat was still cold.
I waited a day or two to calm my brain because I was panicking a bit because I want this so much and hopefully Mistress will be more comfortable with it and take full control in the future and also I felt disappointed that I had failed in some way.
When my head was cleared (no orgasm though I was getting tempted) I put the device back on and it feels more comfortable now.
I may have to order a smaller ring in the near future (my body adjusting and I should have taken this into account when I order the device in the first place) but for the moment i'll stick with this one and thankfully things are back on track in my new journey.
Counting down the days now for my next orgasm which will either be next friday night or Saturday, which will be just under a month since my last one .

 

It's just past midnight here in the U.K and tonight is the night that Mistress will give me my first orgasm under her total control.
It has been just under a month since my last orgasm and all I know is that Mistress will make me suffer for my orgasm.
I'm totally shattered but my mind is racing and i'm so excited about this evening I can't describe.
Rewinding back acouple of days when I was round Mistresses house I had to use a strap in on her to bring her to multiple. Orgasms and it felt really great to give her lots of pleasure even though it felt a bit strange because I couldn't feel anything.
I love pleasing her so much xxxx

 

It's just past midnight here in the U.K and tonight is the night that Mistress will give me my first orgasm under her total control.
It has been just under a month since my last orgasm and all I know is that Mistress will make me suffer for my orgasm.
I'm totally shattered but my mind is racing and i'm so excited about this evening I can't describe.
Rewinding back acouple of days when I was round Mistresses house I had to use a strap in on her to bring her to multiple. Orgasms and it felt really great to give her lots of pleasure even though it felt a bit strange because I couldn't feel anything.
I love pleasing her so much xxxx

 

Wow what a magical and wonderful long birthday weekend that was .
My Mistress came down on friday evening and I treated her to a Chinese meal at a Chinese restaurant (funny that eh? Lol).
We did a bit of shopping afterwards so Mistress could choose her wine of choice for the rest of the evening and we went back to my flat .
We shared wonderful hours just chatting, drinking and snuggling/cuddling together .
In the early hours we finally made it to bed and Mistress took the device off and tied my hands behind my head. (we had spent a little time a bit earlier having a little play but not much because our relationship is based on mutual love for each other rather than just kink and even though i would love more playtime it is so lovely just spending time with her and being in her arms).
I had built this moment up so very much when it actually came to it her cock wouldn't perform for her (my fault for spending years pleasuring myself and putting so much pressure on myself for this moment because I was then one who was pushing for it and also I was very tired as well after a long day for both of us.
Mistress untied me and I did it myself and I had my orgasm .
Wasn't how I would have likes it but i'm grateful that Mistress understood and allowed me to have an orgasm (though secretly I was hoping she would have said that I wasn't allowed till it was totally under her control but that will come in the future i hope) .
We both drifted off into a long sleep after a chat afterwards about what just happend.
We had a great weekend saturday and sunday spending time cuddling together and just being a soppy couple and I was unlocked.
We spent saturday night down the pub with other friends we know from the scene and Sunday we went to LAM and Mistress tied me up a few times showing off her excellent ropework skills.
Monday (yesterday) we spent another magical day together just cuddling and me making her coffees etc and in the afternoon we went to The bedroom and I gave my Mistress several orgasms which was really great because I love giving her orgasm and making her. happy .
Mistress was blissfully laying next to me afterwards and seeing as it was my actual birthday I asked if I was allowed an orgasm. Mistress said yes.
While it was a bit better than friday night, because i'm so used to doing it myself, while I was hard i wasn't getting anywhere near orgasm and Mistress told me to get myself near and she would take over at the end, which she didand wow wow it was so magical to finally have someone else control my orgasm and Mistress carried on making sure I was totally drained ( I would have stopped sooner had i been in control).

I'm hoping that now I can put myself and orgasms under her total control though i will need Conditioning to her touch and control and that's something i'm hoping Mistress will start working on with me in the near future ,however I won't keep pushing the subject just yet as I want to keep making sure that she knows I love her as a person and not a vehicle for my kinks .

 

Apologies for lack of updates to this blog/journal.
Two main reasons really, the first is because our work schedules and secondly we are still finding our way in our kink relationship and slowly building Mistresses confidence up to take more control ( she had been more of a sub in previous years and not used to being in control so I have had to be very patient and take things slowly.

We still are taking things slowly, and while a small part of me is worried that she will never be comfortable with being in charge and taking control we are slowly getting there.

I had to have a chat with her a few days ago because she only went into Mistress mode and wanted to play with me after a couple of bottles of wine. (she was never drunk and the first few times I had to allow it in the hope that it was just a confidence things for her) and normally I would never advocate playing after lots of alcohol I was hoping that after the first few times her confidence would build and when she was "sober"she would play with me.

The last time was the final straw and I feigned my safe word because wasn't comfortable at all with this situation.
I quietly and gently explained to herthat I was worried about her health and while I'd love her to play with me more and be in charge I couldn't do that if it took 2 bottles of wine in order for her confidence to be built up in order to do it, as her sub it is my duty to care for her and look out forher and that includes her health and well being .

She didn't take it as a criticism and acknowledged that I must feel really bad that it took loads of wine before she played with me (I did start to feel like that, however, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to upset her anymore or make her feel guilty because like I said earlier I'm assuming it's a confidence issue).

I have had to start kind of topping from the bottom now (I hate doing that) and I asked for and received a nice flogging this weekend (like I keep repeating she is my
girlfriend she is a real person with real feelings and she is not just a vehicle for my kinks) .anyway before the flogging I asked if I was allowed an orgasm and Mistress said I could as long as I got
myself to the edge and she could take over.
I got myself to the edge and Mistresses hand took over and OH MY GOD just as I orgasmed Mistress held her thumb over the hole and held it there till long after the orgasm subsided.

Wow wow and double wow I was in total shock as I wasn't expecting that, my mind was all over the place and I was still very very horny afterwards and I begged for a flogging to try and take my mind off of being so horny .

That was my very first ruined orgasm that I hadn't done to myself and it felt great because it wasn't my suggestion
Or idea (I did tell Mistress about ruined orgasms a few weeks ago) and wow I was so so happy that Mistress did this off of her own back.

Here's hoping for the future where Mistress builds her confidence and I can get rid of the little niggling feelings oof "she is only doing this for me and giving me ' this'll keep him quiet' play ,if that makes sense because I know in vanilla she loves me so very much.

 

Just to clarify my last posting Mistress has plenty of orgasms and it's not all about my orgasms and in order to be allowed an orgasm myself I must make sure Mistress is satisfied first with at least one orgasm and it's usually multiple orgasms for Mistress which I love giving her

 

I use my hands my tongue and other toys so Mistress has her orgasms.
I have only managed it successfully once with her cock, this is due to me spending too many years pleasuring myself so the cock is used to and conditioned to the way I have been doing it for so long ‎also Mistress goes into "sub type " mode and wants it rough and wants me to "grab her hair " and other things which is just not me and I loose my hardness, which then I get embarrassed and ashamed.
I apologise if these details seem too personal, however, by being able to write freely here i'm helping myself and hopefully, over time, I can overcome these psychological issues of mine and be able to please her in that way as well. ‎

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

 

Not updated this for a while.
My girlfriend whom I love very much just isn't into chastity or being "Domme" at all apart from the very rare titbit of play when she is 'in the mood' and saying the right things, if that makes sense,.
During our time together she has shown me that her sub side is bigger than she realised and to make her happy so I don't lose her because her needs aren't being met (she hasn't actually said them words but during our chats and communication I know that my needs for being a sub are preventing her from the things she enjoys and it will only be a matter of time before she is feeling frustrated. Like I have said before she is my girlfriend first andd foremost i'll do virtually anything I can to make her happy andd this relationship. Continue)

As an experiment the other week (after a chat about me seeing how she wasn't really Domme and more sub and it was noticeable) later on I "ordered her " to lay face down on the bed, then I took a deep breath and got the nylon cane I bought ages ago and gave her a whack on her bum with it (not a light tap a hard whack) and after rubbing itandsoothing it I saw just how happy she was, she had the biggest smile and I could see how happy in her eyes as well .

I hated it but did it because I know what she needs to be happy and content and she knows how much I hate doing it but also knows that i'll do it for her to make her happy and not lose her in the future

Maybe over time I won't feel so sick inside when i do it but want to show her how much I want to make her happy and content and then over time she might want to start chastity or other Domme related activities in the future.

I love her with all my heart and vanilla side of things are perfect especially our cuddles watching telly and in bed when we both drift off to sleep together.

Just to add that me caning her is only occasionally and not something regular and only a couple of hits as well