My wife has been after me about computer pornography masturbation addiction for a long time and complains about how I do not give her (sexual) attention. She brought me to her sex therapist and the sex therapist set up a treatment plan that would use a medical device called an anti-porn aide which I found out is usually called a "chastity device." Though this video is humorous, this is kind of how I felt at the therapist office. The steps I was told to follow were: 1. My wife would put on the anti-porn aide. (Break-In) She would then leave me at home and return sometime later in the day to remove. 2. A porn filter would be put on the computer, she would have the password. 3. If I want the filter unblocked, I would have to go to my wife, unless she would go away for more than a day, then it would remain unblocked regardless. 4. If my wife is not interested in sex, she would just unblock the site. However, if she wanted sex, I would have to perform a sex act she wanted and I would have to have an orgasm. If I do not feel like sex, then my wife would put on the anti-porn aide. The aide would remain on until my wife turns the porn filter off, or have sex with my wife. 5. The aide would only be on if my wife wants sex, I refuse, and I want the filter off. She would not have to orgasm to get to the porn if I just screw her and I orgasm myself. 6. My wife can never say no to sex with me. 7. The therapist would act as doctor (psychologist) and my wife would have the role to nursing assistant. She would take care of me but follow the doctors orders. My wife's job is to protect me from the websites. 8. If I want to see porn, she has to drop everything and unblock the filter (or sex.) Same with asking for the removal of the aide. The first problem I ran into was I got afraid and would not let my wife put the aide on, I got scared because of not being able to orgasm. The therapist was very smart and already knew the reason said that not to worry, the whole idea is to be afraid of the aide. My wife said the therapist told her in a prior session that men would do anything to get out of the aide. The therapist said that I needed to be in the breaking period for 1 time only to transfer the power of the porn site owners to my wife. I would have a huge impulse to masturbate to orgasm and become fixated on my wife instead of the porn. Since I would not let my wife put on the aide in the private area of the office, the next session the therapist will help me with my phobia about putting it on. After we left I decided to pretend to be wearing the aide and it would be impossible to masturbate. I definitely felt a huge amount of anxiety and wanted to masturbate. On one hand pretending to have the aide on got me horny, on the other hand the thought of me not be able to masturbate actually got me physically nauseous. In the night I press my thing against a pillow and orgasm-ed, something that is normally impossible for me, but I wanted to not use my hands. The therapist was not kidding when she said most men would do anything to have it taken off. I need to know my wife's power is stronger than the porn power. The therapistcompared it to wild animal trainers that will introduce himself to an animal by immediately showing who is boss. The next session will be overcoming my phobia. The plan is for my wife to put on the aide in the private area at the office so if I have any anxieties I can get help from the therapist. Then my wife would drop me off at home but keep her cell phone on if I can't take it. There is a certain amount of time I need to be on it, but I cannot know. The therapist said that like a dog will love whoever feeds it, a man will obsess over whoever controls and supplies the orgasm. Because I have to go through my wife to see porn, remove the aide, and orgasm, my focus will be on her. My thinking will change. The immediate goal is not to get me to stop seeing porn, the goal is to get me to screw a real woman again. I was told that years ago there were no hot cheerleader lesbian cheerleader porn so there was nothing to compete with the wife. Internet technology is working against the wife, the porn filter and the anti-porn aide is a way to counter the website owners. The problem, as I was told, was not that I had a masturbation problem per se. My problem is not being able to handle technology that humans did not evolve to be able to handle. When I was alone with the therapist I was told that I had a good wife that cares for me but sometimes wives will go off the deep end power hungry by being manipulative when the husband asks for the aide to be removed. For example, a wife might say "OK, as soon as I get this done, if I had help it would go faster." It is considered unethical behavior to take advantage of vulnerable persons. Some wives delay taking off the aide becasue they are insecure and do not like the loss of infatuation after orgasm or to make the husband hornier. A warning sign is if she says "I'm afraid to take it off because you will lose my love for me." She said if my wife evers does this immediately call her office. If I do not demands will grow. I am also to use only plastic aides, no titanium. My wife was told all of this also, when she was without me. I was warned that although she hopes we continue going to her, if we in the future change therapists, be careful of unethical sex therapists, especially ones with low credentials. The unethical sex therapist actually works for the wife, because she is the one who pays and will help her manipulate the husband. If I run into this I would need to get documentation and report to the licensing board, because in her words "This is not a game." If I do wear the aide I would need to be monitored by a urologist for safety. The therapist said the psychologists test she did on me said that if I do wear the device to see porn instead of sex with my wife, I would be literally begging my wife to take off the aide. Aide off, porn re-blocked until after sex. She said 99.999% of men would do anything to get out of the aide after 5 minutes of porn, so being regularly monitored by an urologist would not be likely. One alternative to this this porn addiction plan would be Viagra. I know the porn is affecting my mental health because having a problem getting it up for a real sex as opposed to masturbation is a sign of a problem. I will ask if I can just skip the breaking in and do the rest. What do should I do? What was your experiences with therapy like? Is her advice accurate?
I've personally not had therapy like this but one of the initial attractions of chastity for me was to control masturbation (there are certainly many other on this site with a similar experience). However, it does sound like the steps laid out above are a good way to recondition yourself to associate your sexual desire with your wife and not porn. If your wife genuinely cares for you as you say she does then I personally recommend you should give this therapy a try. Wearing the aide will not be bad unless you try to access porn. Hope that helps.
It doesn't stop you accessing porn. It just changes the way you feel about it ;-) Like contraband, I find the attraction control in a way that actually allows me to focus on other things that are basically more valuable time investments than porn......
Is the sex therapist a quack? Is everything she is telling me accurate? The goal is not to get me to stop looking at porn or even stop masturbating, but to get my wife in control of the porn and trap me to have sex with her, "trap" is my word.
It doesn't sound like she the therapist is a quack. It sounds accurate and the aide as you call it will help you curb masturbation and use of porn in favour of sex with your wife.
I will be able to view porn anytime if my wife puts the device on me. Do you have any direct experience of someone that was in a horny mood, put on the device, then watched porn? I was told after a few minutes I will be begging to be let out. Is that true?
Well watching porn in the aide will certainly leave you extremely horny but unable to attend your needs unless you are let out. My experience of watching porn whilst wearing one is I get pretty desperate to get any stimulation that I can around the aide. So I would say the description you've been given is accurate.
Sounds like a good plan to get you off of porn. And she is not a quack from the sounds of it. Porn is very destructive to relationships and even your brain. I would suggest that if you love your wife will give this an earnest try. I would also look at www.yourbrainonporn.com and read up.
I heard that the user has to masturbate before putting it on? True or false? This was not mentioned when I was there. Perhaps that was meant to be done? How important is the wife in helping the husband control and stop masturbation and porn addiction?
Masturbating before wearing the aide would serve one of two purposes; A: a clean slate by allowing completion. This also ensures you stay soft when the device goes on, it can occasionally be difficult to fit the device as you may naturally start to get hard as your wife handles you. B: if not allowed to complete it serves to build frustration making you more willing to have the device removed. Your wife's help will be essential in attempting to redirect your sexual focus towards her and away from porn and masturbation. It will rely on her performing her role correctly and not allowing you to get away with cheating the system. However from everything you have said so far I fully you encourage you to try this therapy; I in no way think the therapist is a quack.