Hello everyone! As the title suggests, it is an unusual topic, that I have a few questions about. Recently I developed an interest in chastity and bought a CB6000. I've trained myself to wear it, starting with short bursts, followed by wearing it for a week. I decided finally I'm accustomed to the device and gave the key to my girlfriend. She's never had any experience with any types of relationships, different from vanilla, but she embraced and loved the idea of me being in chastity for her. Here comes the problem. The longest I've been in chastity is just a week, because my girlfriend, logically, wants to play. However I would like to be kept locked up for longer periods of time and have her deny me orgasms for longer. I've talked countless times with her and told her what my vision for the future is - that I want her to have total control over my member, to use it only for her pleasure and allow ejaculation only when earned and if it pleases her. I've told her countless times Her pleasure is more important and I want her to be more strict when it comes to releasing me or giving me relief. However, seeing how she never had any experience with anything more than just vanilla, it's quite difficult for her to act more dominant. She's used to being passive. I've talked with her on any and all topics, as to incite her dominant side to come out. I've started calling her Mistress from time to time, I started asking for permission before I ejaculate, I even wrote a chastity contract, which I've sent to her to review and edit. Having in mind she loves the idea of me being in chastity, being teased and denied, while I bring her pleasure, she doesn't act very dominant. I would like to hear any suggestions from other dominant ladies and keyholders as to how I might be able to 'release the beast within her', or other guys in chastity as to what actions provoke your keyholders and/or Mistresses to be more dominant. Thank you!
@Zero-Blade Hi, there are numerous book on amazon on this subject - including how to get your partner interested. If you google the name Sarah Jameson , she wrote a book which will probably be useful in introducing it - if you are in a more vanilla type of relationship. There is also a letter , called a letter to your beloved which I think I might have somewhere if you want it PM me and I will see what I can find. If you try and force this situation it will never work. Good Luck! Hugs Lucy x
I definitely don't want to force her to do anything she doesn't want. I just want some feedback as to what actions might provoke her to be more dominant and strict.
I'd be more careful about the terminology. If you really wanting to "train" a mistress, who would really be in charge? Sounds a little like topping from the bottom. But, in reading your message further, I don't think that this is really what you want. Aristotle said that "you cannot teach a person anything, but only help them discover it within themselves". The suggested reading material would probably be a good start. Also, if you have a fetish group in your area, perhaps going to a munch together might let her meet some other Mistresses and learn more about what dominance is about, from a female perspective. But, of course if she is accustomed to and demanding of frequent sex, then perhaps locking you up for extended periods might not be in the cards. My wife/Mistress, for example, locks me up when she's at work or away for long, but unlocks me when she gets home so that she can have her way. (I have to tie a pink ribbon and bow around it to remind me of my sissihood, though!) It's all about her, as it should be!
The title is just to give an idea as to what I'm trying to achieve. Not to top from the bottom, but to persuade (maybe not exactly the right word) her to be more dominating. She loves the ideas of being dominant, the only problem is she is very timid and uneasy. I've reassured her a million times there is nothing to worry about, and that I really want this. She has embraced it and loves it. The only problem is she doesn't act on it, unless I provoke her. She wants to dominate, but simply doesn't allow herself to do it. I'm just trying to find a way to provoke her to act on her desires, without discomfort. She wants to do it, just stops herself from doing it.
I understand what your situation is and did not mean to suggest that you were actually topping from the bottom - just that the title made it sound that way. I think a gradual approach, with lots of reading material and suggestions will be the way to go. She'll likely come around to thinking more dominantly! Just be careful not to push too hard.