you all have at one point or the other i am sure, watched Star Trek. imagine Mr. Spock and you will get a rather good idea of just who it is that i am sleeping with. that's not to say we have not had adventures, but on the whole, those times are well-tempered with my digital minded lover going on about logic and rules and what is honorable. i came from a wholly different culture, one with plenty of chaos and fighting...knock down drag out back alley fighting. my family is a mix of euro and native americans. his family is serene as a buddhist monestary, no one ever yells or gets angry. when i first dated him, bf (we'll call him by his netname, Obsidian), was 19 and i was just turned 16. he was a virgin. i was, shall we say, most assuredly not. he was much the same as he is now, only with more hair and more energy and he was very eager to try out all of the things he had seen in porn mags. hooray for me! still, i was more adventurous than him. we lost track of eachother for 20 years. then i ran into him at my favorite nightclub, the Castle. he was dark and gothic in his black leather trenchcoat. i tried to make him dance, he had no rythym and stood there smiling as i flitted about him. he bought me drink, he bought me two, (okay he bought me a ton...i am a hedonist and never have understood the word 'moderation')...and we ended up in the alley. for me, this was no great deal, having found myself in similar situations before and much much more. driving me home, he said to me, "i have waited twenty years to marry you.". i can't imagine what possessed me to blurt out, "ask me in five years, then." because i had been divorced from my ex 11 years before and had vowed never to go down that particular road again. just to make it hard for him, i then said, "i want a Hildago engagement band and a Takhol wedding band, though. nothing else will do....and no diamonds. i HATE diamonds!" i figure by the time he saves up the money for those items, i will have reconciled myself with the idea of being a wife again. within two months he had moved me into his home. i worked briefly, but when i got laid off, he said not to worry and i have kept house for him ever since. it's been two years. i cannot find a way to interest him, now, besides the Sub fiasco that went on for two days just this last week. he really got into it. i wasnot so happy when i realised that there were rules...lots of rules...and very little foreplay. foreplay is my friend. after some googling, i found out that the sites on the net which had prompted me to suggest him being a Dom and me being a Sub were actually BDSM sites. ohhhhh...well, try telling your lover (after writing explicit love notes, no less encouraging him) that what you've been up to in bed has been a misunderstanding! yeah, so. as a male all he heard was, "our sex life is bad." way to go, rue! now Obsidian is back to assembling his Franken-Computers...(he's working on four simultaneously) and acting as if i am out of my mind to want to try the BDSM. (here's a snippet of that conversation... "okay, my dear, tell me what it is you THINK you want." "nonsense. i won't tell you what i THINK i want. i will tell you what i KNOW i want.") well, you can see how miserable i've made my Vulcan now. sometimes he plays these video games from Japan called hentai. when he does, he gets aroused, of course. the graphics are very good...lol i am planning to incorporate them into our routine (i've always wondered what he might think if i were to close the computer room door and perform oral sex on him while he played. would he push me away? would he enjoy it? i know that i would enjoy it.). i'm fairly pushing them on him now..."Honey, i have an idea of how you can destress...why don't you play 'Artificial Girl' tonight?". so far, no dice. i'm starting to feel like a nun. it's been like two days since i've gotten some!