The Vulcan in my bedroom

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  1. Goddess of Discord
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    Goddess of Discord Obsidian's property

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    you all have at one point or the other i am sure, watched Star Trek. imagine Mr. Spock and you will get a rather good idea of just who it is that i am sleeping with. that's not to say we have not had adventures, but on the whole, those times are well-tempered with my digital minded lover going on about logic and rules and what is honorable. i came from a wholly different culture, one with plenty of chaos and fighting...knock down drag out back alley fighting. my family is a mix of euro and native americans. his family is serene as a buddhist monestary, no one ever yells or gets angry.

    when i first dated him, bf (we'll call him by his netname, Obsidian), was 19 and i was just turned 16. he was a virgin. i was, shall we say, most assuredly not. he was much the same as he is now, only with more hair and more energy and he was very eager to try out all of the things he had seen in porn mags. hooray for me! still, i was more adventurous than him.

    we lost track of eachother for 20 years. then i ran into him at my favorite nightclub, the Castle. he was dark and gothic in his black leather trenchcoat. i tried to make him dance, he had no rythym and stood there smiling as i flitted about him. he bought me drink, he bought me two, (okay he bought me a ton...i am a hedonist and never have understood the word 'moderation')...and we ended up in the alley. for me, this was no great deal, having found myself in similar situations before and much much more. driving me home, he said to me, "i have waited twenty years to marry you.". i can't imagine what possessed me to blurt out, "ask me in five years, then." because i had been divorced from my ex 11 years before and had vowed never to go down that particular road again. just to make it hard for him, i then said, "i want a Hildago engagement band and a Takhol wedding band, though. nothing else will do....and no diamonds. i HATE diamonds!" i figure by the time he saves up the money for those items, i will have reconciled myself with the idea of being a wife again.

    within two months he had moved me into his home. i worked briefly, but when i got laid off, he said not to worry and i have kept house for him ever since. it's been two years. i cannot find a way to interest him, now, besides the Sub fiasco that went on for two days just this last week. he really got into it. i wasnot so happy when i realised that there were rules...lots of rules...and very little foreplay. foreplay is my friend.

    after some googling, i found out that the sites on the net which had prompted me to suggest him being a Dom and me being a Sub were actually BDSM sites. ohhhhh...well, try telling your lover (after writing explicit love notes, no less encouraging him) that what you've been up to in bed has been a misunderstanding!

    yeah, so.

    as a male all he heard was, "our sex life is bad."

    way to go, rue!

    now Obsidian is back to assembling his Franken-Computers...(he's working on four simultaneously) and acting as if i am out of my mind to want to try the BDSM. (here's a snippet of that conversation... "okay, my dear, tell me what it is you THINK you want." "nonsense. i won't tell you what i THINK i want. i will tell you what i KNOW i want.") well, you can see how miserable i've made my Vulcan now.


    sometimes he plays these video games from Japan called hentai. when he does, he gets aroused, of course. the graphics are very good...lol i am planning to incorporate them into our routine (i've always wondered what he might think if i were to close the computer room door and perform oral sex on him while he played. would he push me away? would he enjoy it? i know that i would enjoy it.). i'm fairly pushing them on him now..."Honey, i have an idea of how you can destress...why don't you play 'Artificial Girl' tonight?".

    so far, no dice.

    i'm starting to feel like a nun.

    it's been like two days since i've gotten some!
     
  2. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Wow! What a great introduction to your journal.

    I won't try and offer you any advice at this moment in time. The only rule really is "communicate".

    Do you have any idea on the loss of sexual interest on his side? Depression? Insecurity? It's not an easy one to answer.

    Hope you get your wicked way sooner rather than later!
     
  3. Goddess of Discord
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    Goddess of Discord Obsidian's property

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    SubRoutine:

    (i think i'll end up using that for a title for one of my poems, sooner or later...)

    so it's all based on the imprecision of words. i asked him for it. but i'll have to chalk that one up under the 'Oopsie!' heading...

    i have a monstrous sex drive. i always want and want and want. immediately after orgasm, i have been known to tell him, "Again!". so when i finally had resorted to the porn sites he'd favorited for me in my computer, i saw a new shiny thing that i wanted. told him (in typical Rue Jacobs fashion, through written media) that i would like very much to try out being a Sub...

    and here's the results:

    hey sexy...just thought i'd tell you i would like to try more experimenting in bed...i was looking at some stuff on the net and haven't ever tried it but it looked like fun. how are you at playing Dom?

    (be nice, and don't laugh at me, either...)

    (you can stop laughing now.)

    (seriously...stop laughing.)

    ohhh...now you think i'm a freak.

    took me days to even send this, too.

    (if you don't stop laughing, you will not be able to reply)

    he replied in the affirmative said we should talk about it, not message eachother
    so i said:


    and if you say a word to ANYONE about it then i will only say that it is YOU who are the sub...lol

    after all, i do have a reputation to maintain.

    i like the jewelery that they had on in the net stuff.

    and they didn't say a whole hell of alot, just the Dom.

    and i am only judgemental about guys who cry because of me or who trim their toenails in front of me...or get dull and boring...




    so he went over the rules in a sort of rudimentary way:
    RULE 1 (this is not the only rule 1): As a Sub you NEVER threaten the Dom, and you MUST do as told (with out taking offense) heh this is not going to be ease for you.
    (this will be fun tho)


    and he mentioned repurcussions.

    i wrote:


    kay then...but don't tell anyone...because i'm still your Goddess, right?

    i can be both if i want to, right?

    tell me more about repercussions...


    he did not.


    he went through some more messaging describing the cues we would use to prompt the games...what we might say to eachother. things like that.

    so i wrote:

    i'm more of an exhibitionist, i think, as long as i know i probley won't ever see the people we do this around again, or that if there are people we know they will more than likely be monstrously drunk and have no idea of what happened that night! which do you prefer, 'My Lord' or 'Master'? i hope it's not all talk, though. i am interested in the tying up bit and the lighter discipline aspects. i'd say spankings should not be off the table, properly and gently administered. i remember once when i was going down on you in the car and you were looking for a place to park that would be relatively isolated. i stopped for a second or two to look up and you looked down at me and scolded me,"i didn't tell you you could stop, now, did i?". i practically came that very instant. by the time we were parked, i had just about lost all semblence to sanity...i'd have finished sucking you off in broad daylight in the center of a police station if you told me to; i was so crazy for it by then.
    that was nice!


    the next day, we went to the Computer store to purchase all those parts he uses to amp up his Franken-Computers. i wore high heels, vintage Jordache jeans so tight you could see every curve and a tiny tiny t-shirt.
    the salesmen were very attentive...(but then that might just be because of the economy!)

    but i got barely a glance from him.

    so i wrote:

    did i displease you in some way, Master? i dressed attactively enough, i hope, when we went out and thought that you would play with me on the way there or back, but you didn't seem to notice me. granted i did not wear a thong...maybe if i did it would have been different and i would have caught your eye. i liked it when you held both my hands, though.

    i want sex NOW!!!

    his reply, (now that's more like it!):

    I did notice, I liked how you where dressed. You did not displease me. You can start (I was just in a one track mind, computer do that, as well as you) I know you want sex, (I do to) but you will have it when I say! I want your pussy nice and wet.


    and hours and hours later, he called me in (i thought to gloat over the laptop screen, as he had just saved this one from being just a giant 2000 dollar paperweight and now it was booting up as if nothing had ever happened). as i leaned dutifully over to share in his happiness, he surprised me by saying,
    "while you are here, strip off your clothes knee before me and suck my d**k"

    well that was specific enough...
    i thought, "okay, this is definately going to work! i absolutely love this!"
    ...


    hmmm...i better leave off the blogging for a bit. i need to get dressed to go shopping with him. he's just off from work.
     
  4. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    My Goodness my head is spinning :anim_39:
     
  5. Goddess of Discord
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    Goddess of Discord Obsidian's property

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    well, just as i began to get my rythym, so to speak, he cupped my chin and tilted my face up so i could see him. "That's enough for now. you may go." he said.

    i think i might have freaked a little bit, there...
    i thought, "What? there's much more to accomplish here.) and clawed at his clothing like a woman gone mad.

    he chuckled and pushed me firmly but gently back onto my heels.

    i pounced on him again, ignoring his hands tangling in my hair.

    i growled something like, "more!" and he pulled away and zipped his jeans up.

    i was ready to howl for his blood (or his cock, either would do at this point, i think)

    when he said, "remember the rules. i say when." and pointed me back to the computer room, "go play your video games, Dear...i'll call you when i want it again.".

    now how in the devil does one play a video game when she is going crazy for sex?"

    normally, i can't wait to get my hands on the mouse (at typical WoWhead position: left hand hovering over the 'W, A, S, D" keys and right hand restlessly right clicking before it even reaches the mouse...

    but my video games were the very last thing on my mind.
    in fact, i think i can be quite sure when i say to you that had the house been burning down i would not rise from the floor until i got what i wanted.

    no dice.

    so off i went grumbling to myself about not wanting to pwn noobs today, all i wanted was a piece!

    and waited
    and waited.

    from time to time he would come in and fondle me like a pet for approximately 30 seconds and then go back to the bedroom to finish loading new software on the laptop.


    he would step back when i reached for him.

    so i did time on the comp.

    and waited some more

    hours later, he came back in and announced he was going to bed

    over my dead body was he going to sleep!

    i tapped the power off to my comp button so hard, the walls reverberated like a shotgun blast.

    and went scurrying into the room with his hand encircling my waist.

    yay!


    i had ripped off my clothing before he even closed the door all the way.

    and i noticed the toy box...and a fluffy pillow on the floor by the loveseat.

    double yay!

    he removed my clothes this time.
    he crammed my p***y with a dildo and then sat down completely naked.
    for the next hour or two, i serviced his d**k in so many ways, orally, manually, and when he came into my c**t i thought i would tear the fabric from the bedsheet, i was clutching at so violently.

    but i was slightly disappointed...where, oh where had the foreplay gone?

    maybe, just maybe, my perfectly attentive lover had had some lapse in judgement. maybe he was distracted by the laptop, he was defragging the stubborn little thing.

    maybe tomorrow would be better...

    big exasperated sigh

    i would just have to be patient.

    like hell i would!

    i went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and combed out the tangles from my hair.

    i took a quick shower. and waited.

    finally i could hear that his breath had evened out and he had begun the snoring.

    and i crawled into bed and waited.

    listened to three songs on the radio...timing it.

    when i was absolutely certain that he would be ready again, i leapt on him like a tiger.

    i yanked the sheets off of him and tore his briefs from his body.

    i was merciless, because even though he wakes at four a.m., i wanted him and i almost always get what i want.
    sleepiness be damned.

    i rode that man like an olympian.

    and when he woke, sleep had lost alot of priority with him.

    he wasn't sleepy at all.

    i rode him until i could not breathe from exhaustion.

    and then it was his turn.

    he had me in his favorite position, on all fours...

    i just love a great big multiple orgasm!

    i trilled like a frikkin' opera singer.

    it was two in the morning...

    he and i snuggled down (he is a cuddler and pulls me into his arms every night, while i, squirm away little by little because i am not so cuddly after sex and want to stretch out and hog the covers. this silent battle takes place all night long) and went to sleep.

    that morning, while he was showering, i ransacked the home office for a pen that was not out of ink and wrote him a quick note:

    My Lord and Master,
    i could not begin to thank you enough for the proper f**king you gave me last night. i have been thinkingof the ways that i could show you my gratitude. perhaps when you come home this afternoon i could come to your room and undress you. i would kneel before you and take you in my mouth.
    i have always wanted you to conquer me in the way you did last night. if you like, i could massage you for an hour instead. or, if you would rather tie my wrists to the bed and my ankles to my wrists, i think i would findsuch restraints pleasant. in this way, you yourself could choose which wet hole you would like most to f**k. and i will be very wet, i am your eager toy to use as you desire and completely subject to your whim. whether it is my p**y or my a** i will thank you for the pleasure you havechosen to give to me...and if it is my mouth you want to f**k,then i will be sure to find some way to express my gratitude.



    i folded the mote and when he came into the room all steamy from the hot water, (boy was he surprised to see his lazy girl, who hardly ever rises before noon wide awake and waiting) i slipped it into his front pocket, carressing it there.

    i knew even a quickie would be off the table, so i kissed him and told him to drive careful on his way to work (i am super paranoid that he might get into an accident and always say that) and that i loved him and i hoped his work day would be good.

    he called me on his lunch break to say that he had gotten hard reading the note...

    i was so happy i felt like putting on a flight suit and posing in front a giant banner that read "Mission Accomplished"!!!

    instead i concentrated on my pedicure, carefully smoothing the polish on.
    "i'm glad." i told him.
     
  6. Goddess of Discord
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    Goddess of Discord Obsidian's property

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    (oooo...this will make a nice title for a poem, too...if only my muse would visit me, i would crank out a nice little erotic series for him to peruse!)


    where was i? oh, yes. the second day...

    let's see, here's the list of what i needed to do: sweep and scrub the floors, tidy the bedroom, do the laundry, dust the computer room, things like that.

    here is what i did: slept in the nice warm bed until he came home (three or four hours early...:SURPRISE, HONEY! wakey wakey...")

    i groaned and buried my head further under the mound of pillows. then sat bolt upright. he brought me a glass of Mountain Spew (i won't drink coffee if i can help it. Mountain Spew is my morning, and afternoon, and evening beverage of choice) and the newspaper. "i have to reformat again. it froze up while defragmenting and lost some files." he said. this did not bode well. i crossed my arms and said, "but i want sex.". he chuckled at me and said, "we'll see.". argh.

    "i didn't even clean up the room, or make the bed. i wanted to greet you at the door! it's not fair!" i grumbled, "i wanted to be all sexy when you got home.". "you are all sexy." he laughed, "now get up and get your shower and read your paper. then we'll eat and i will begin work on the laptop". i pouted about not having the time to set things up the way i wanted them before he got home, but he shrugged it off. he said i had gone to bed very late and needed my sleep. he can be very indulgent with me.

    so i didn't get to clean (he hates me to tidy up when he is working, because i might accidentally trip over a cable or a cord and then all his hard work will go crashing down.), not even make the bed. well, some Sub i was turning out to be. i thought for a second or two that he might incorporate this into our lovemaking, though and so mentioned it a fewmore times. he did not get the hint. there was no reference to the messy room or the lazy girl blissfully sleeping in his bed, hair uncombed, no make up...

    i thought if i were him i would have hit the roof, and devised lots of ways for my sub to make it up to me...

    but he petted me and said nothing more than the usual computer jargon that i half understand by now...there was talk of hard drives and compartmentalising my computer in order to isolate the problemic SecuROM program that had infiltrated the 'kernal' of my computer and from there wiped out my precious disc drive.

    oh, i'll spare you the details.

    needless to say my ADHD (yes i was diagnosed ADHD when i was four and literally climbed the walls) kicked in and his lovely mouth kept opening and closing while his words blurred together in an effect not unlike Charlie Brown's teacher, "Wah, wah, wah-wah, defrag, wah-wah, wah, sex."

    just a minute, did i hear 'sex?'

    oh now he had my attention...but what had he been saying?

    dammit!

    "okay, Hon?" he asked.
    i nodded in confusion...trying to reply the Charlie-Brown-teacher speech in my head, but it was no use.

    so he said, "are you going to make the corndogs, then?"

    "Sure" ...but what about the sex part?!

    Dammit!

    we ate dinner together and he started on the laptop, idly fondling me as he had the night before.

    he sent me to play on my computer.

    and i waited.
    and i waited.

    there seemed to be a great deal of this waiting.

    i wished that my Hentai games were still on my computer.
    i wished that the demonic laptop would just burst into flame and then he would have to pay attention to me.
    i cursed the friend who owned the laptop and had carried it, weeping over it's broken battered body to him asking in a pitiful voice if he could resurrect her beloved "Kindred" (she is my best friend and named her computer, too).
    i cursed her fiance who had broken the laptop.
    i wished the inventor of the laptop had never been conceived.
    and cursed the inventor and his mother roundly and thoroughly.

    i felt like a stray cat in the hallway, the one that is in heat and rubs up against your leg...

    i wished i had a little leather collar with a tiny silver bell on it to wear.

    i window shopped for the collars online.

    and waited.

    those thirty second intervals when he came in and stroked me were fine, but...

    Dammit...what had he said about sex?

    did he say we could have it tonight?
    had he said we couldn't?

    finally, as he had the night before, he came in and announced it was time to log off my comp and entertain him.

    my god, yes.


    i cannot stress the 'yes' enough.

    my god.
    oh my god.
    oh god, yes.

    i did not just see god that night, i saw god and satan and the entirety of the cosmos in a vast panoramic array and in surround f**king sound.

    i might have whispered at one point,
    "my god, it's full of stars."
    like that guy in 2001 Space Oedyssy.

    he f**ked me six ways to sunday.
    and i loved every inch of his flawless godlike body.

    he started with the dildo, of course.
    but this time he wanted to have me make good on my promises for anal sex.

    now the very thought of anal is terrifying to me.
    i had tried it once with my ex-lover and it did not go very far before i was shreiking like a hellcat from the excruciating pain and trying to emasculate him in a most determined fashion.

    but my Obsidian adores it, and i want so much to please hm that i have read the book he handed me on this subject and studied it quite a bit.

    things never really got too far in this endeavor, though.

    so now he was going to take me like the b**ch i am, and in the very way that i hoped/feared he would.

    i knew it would not be gentle.

    i had let the genie out of the lamp, i had tap danced on the mine field...

    and he was saying something....but i had not been paying attention at all.

    "wah, wah, wah-wah..."
    he waited for my response.
    i nodded numbly, eyeing the dildo which had seemed when we bought it to be perfectly acceptable in length and girth (even dainty) but now seemed positively Priapian in size now. it must have been switched by gremlins for the hellish atrocity he was presently holding out to me.

    he positioned me, bending me over the loveseat and began.

    i thought that i would die from humiliation.

    and then, something feral took over me.

    i discovered how his complete control over my actions and body only fueled my desire for him.

    i came even when he stopped touching me.

    when i couldn't stand it anymore, i turned to face him and he was more than ready.

    he stuffed his c**k into my mouth and instructed me to suck it clean.

    i was paying attention now.

    he was my god.

    my god, yes.

    afterwards, he finished me off by giving me more multiple oral orgasms than i could count.




    but still, what happened to the foreplay?

    i knew i would need a little more information.
    and a whole lot of advice!

    that night, while he slept, i crawled from the bed and wrote him another note to slip into his pocket...



    "My Lord and Master,
    words could not express my gratitude for the glorious fucking you gave me. the pain was exquisite. just thinking about the orgasms i endured at your hands and your of your magnificent cock buried halfway inside my ass makes me want more. my pussy is fairly soaked with the possibilities of what is to come.

    i still would like to greet you at the bedroom door and service your majestic dick with every part of my body. i want to express my thankfullness for being allowed to cum in so many ways. i am yours to use and command as you wish. i will be your eager slut, performing any service you command. i want to anticipate your instructions and serve you flawlessly as your slave.

    please take pictures often; i should like it very much to function as your souvenir, and i want so badly to make you as aroused as you keep me. i would be unspeakably turned on by the thought of my Master keeping such souvenirs...i will pose in any way you direct me to pose. i will be shameless and do as you tell me to do.

    i want to always be your sex toy to use (or abuse) as you see fit. i wish that i could feel your cock inside my mouth, in my ass and in my pussy all the time, fucking me, reminding me just who is in control. make me beg for it, yes, there is nothing that drives my desire more than what you hold to give to me or deny me at your fancy. i would beg for it every hour of the day, if you did not tire of hearing my pleas for your cock. tease me, also, i enjoy the lessons you mete out to me on patience and service. i want to make of myself your favorite fuck toy, the one servant you are most pleased with above any. the one you punish with cruel precision and the breathtaking power of your dick driving into me in forceful thrusts. tear me apart in your lust, i need to feel your mastery over my body and my soul.

    let me lay displayed before you as you choose which warm wet hole you will ram deep into tonight. everytime you touch me now, i hear your voice commanding me, bidding me to spread my legs for you, commanding me to drive the dildo further up inside my ass while you watch and stroke the dick that I crave to be buried deep in my throat choking me as you cum, i feel your fingers pressing against my wet cunt as i try to squirm into a position that will allow me the release of cumming, hear you direct me not to cum until you have given me permission. i cannot stand it, and i want more. it is both excruciating and the most delightful sensation i have ever experienced.

    all i want is to be filled with your dick, to have your cum dripping from every orifice in my body. to be your fuck toy to be used in any way that satisfies you. be cruel to me and i will love you with every cell in my body every beat of my heart. you have always owned me, it is singularly the most fulfilling sensation to know that you will from now on use me as i was intended to be used, in the way i was born to be, as your complete and unrepentant and loving slut."
     
  7. curious44
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    curious44 Member

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    Well, Rue,
    You certainly have my attention.
     
  8. Goddess of Discord
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    Goddess of Discord Obsidian's property

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    he called me from work on his break to tell me that he had gotten a hard on from reading my note. he said, "it does make it hard to concentrate." and laughed.
    i occupied myself with cleaning the house, bathing and scenting myself (i decided on morrocan frankincense and myrhh bath oils, violet water after bath splash, and cherry vanilla cologne...i always layer my scents). i worked the frankincense and myrhh oil into the roots of my hair and the base of my spine. when he got home, he was distracted. the evil laptop was prooving to be difficult and petulant. it shut itself off in the middle of booting up. i imagined it was distacting him on purpose. i sat on the edge of his bed wearing nothing but my thong. pretended to need something on the bottom shelf and bent way over...i shook my (admittedly tiny) breasts...he only had eyes for the laptop. i kissed him and he absently kissed me back, all the while eyeing the laptop's screen. i caressed him, he smiled and went back to tapping the keyboard. he spoke computer jargon to me. but we all know how i respond to that...

    finally i came out and asked him when we were going to have sex. he looked up and said, "maybe later, Hon.". when he calls me Hon, i have noticed, sex is the last thing on his mind. i gave up and went to the computer room. i answered emails, myspaced, and played some video games. night fell, and he got an unpleasant phone call involving personal business. that did it. system crash. fatal error at libido files.

    i wanted to tear my hair out from lust and now he just wanted to hold me in his arms. i have always sucked so at sympathy. privately, it terrifies me to see a man in emotional pain. i have no idea why. i just freeze up like a deer in the headlights. that night was no exception. i offered to slit the throat of the person who had made him angry. this provoked a smile from him (he knows i wouldn't but it amused him to picture me doing it, just the same). i lay in his arms. but soon enough he was snoring and i felt as unattractive as an orthopedic shoe. i lay half the night staring at the ceiling. the other half was spent at the kitchen door, smoking tons of cigarettes and blowing the smoke outside.

    why does reality have to intrude at all?!

    finally i got to sleep around 4 in the morning, just before he was due to wake up.

    when he woke, instead of turning over and going back to sleep, i showered and dressed and went to the computer. i decided to actually research the subject of Doms and Subs. it was then that i found this site. i clearly had not much of an idea of the difference between BDSM and Doms and Subs. to my unschooled mind, the terms were one and the same in definition.

    wow. so much to learn, then.

    two days without sex and i was a basket case!

    when he called me on break, i told him that i needed to talk to him. he immediately was anxious. he knows that when i say things of this sort, that i am liable to become emotional in a bad way. i told him, "oh, no, it's not so heavy, nothing to sweat over, i just made a mistake and needed to talk to you about it." .

    yeah. right.

    it took another day for the smoke to clear.
    reading over the site, i realised that roles did not need to stamped in stone.

    i had thought at first that in order to be a Sub, i had to derive pleasure solely from satisfying my Dom. but now i saw that these rules could be flexible. yes, i love, love, love satisfying my Obsidian...but i did not have to forgo the foreplay...i could compromise with him...but this would require actual talking and not my usual form of communication (over private messages, poems, and notes). i had to cowboy up and tell him what i needed.

    he was still a little pissed about the way our conversation had gone. he made it clear that i would need to put more effort into communication so that we could avoid more misunderstandings. and i told him unequivicably what i wanted. of course, because he was still working on my computer and my friend's laptop, we decided to wait until he had finished to really go over the porn sites together and point out what turns us on. we would have a better idea of what to incorporate and what to leave alone, that way.

    he warned me about what a freak he is, and said i would probabley be disgusted by his porn...but i keep thinking that he will no doubt be shocked at what i find arousing. the reason that we aren't really familiar with eachother's favorite porn is because of something i said early in our relationship. he was all enthusiastic about showing me some of the movies he enjoyed: one movie had a girl masturbating with a make-up brush.

    without thinking, i impulsively blurted out, "good heavens... that can't be hygenic!". click, hard shut down. 404 libido file not found. i didn't realise what i was even saying (oh, i never do...i almost always will say the most inappropriate thing and end up regretting it.). and to cover for the fact that i worried my own sex drive was excessive, i began pretending that the very things that really turn me on were 'silly' or 'gross'...well, my Obsidian just assumed that i had suddenly turned into a prude. he remains fairly certain that i am a prude, and might be going through some kind of phase.

    i suspect though, that he and i have been watching the same porn all along, just never together.

    the things he says in bed to me, the things he mentions he wants to do to me, those are the things i've been seeking out on the net to watch and fantasize about all along. oh, i know i'm far from politically correct...rape fantasies and all...and i come from a long line of Matriarchs.

    the women in my family rule their men with iron fists. the men stay silent on the couch, 'yes dearing' and stuffing their bellies with cheese puffs while they watch season after season of sports. the women control the finances and all decisions regarding the family is made by them...and here i am : the aberrant, wanting a man who will conquer and control me in every way. one who will not crawl before me, one who only strikes out in order to inflict pleasure; who would die before he strikes me in anger. where is the Inner Dom i wielded on all those men i broke and threw away? Hah! she isn't coming back, Dumplings...i belong to the man who can both Worship and Master me.

    i am tired of the long string of men whose spirits i could break. i am glad my Obsidian is unbreakable (believe me, ever since we first dated i tested him in so many ways!). he doesn't flinch or give way. he does not change. i want to serve Obsidian, because he worshipped me all along. he never pushed, he never broke, he never cried, no matter what hell i put him through. he only waited and said, "See, my Goddess, see, my Beloved; i kiss your foot.". he deserves a slave-girl in attendance fulfilling his every fantasy, acting on his every whim. here is a man i can sink my teeth into and come up with a mouthful of divinity.

    so, this is where i stand, now. i've already screwed up being an obedient little Sub so far. the stubborn streak of rebellion inside me fights against obesience.
    i am impatient and hedonistic and have a cruel tongue. i have discovered how much i actually love being his Sub, but i must work harder at convincing him that this is not a phase, and above all i need desperately to learn how to balance real life with being a Sub. is there a separation between Sub/Dom and real life, or is that a compromise subjective to the players involved, for instance?














    i
     
  9. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Wow I should have read all this much sooner-what an appetite?!!!

    I think I speak for all when I say welcome to the site but for God's sake woman remember some of us are in lockup!:sex021:
     
  10. maidmisty
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    maidmisty Senior Member

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    I have to agree with xcitex2 :smile: This sissy has been locked for four wks. i had to stop reading and come back 3 times. Keep up the good work i have to learn how to somehow control myself . If not i'm in for a long lockup .:kissass:
     
  11. Goddess of Discord
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    Goddess of Discord Obsidian's property

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    ooooo...my shoulders and biceps are aching nonstop today! last night, furious that i had lost my chance seducing him (my friend, a beautiful Dom with really luscious curves came over, she saw that i was wearing my little Tripp handcuffs attached to my belt and the leather collar was around my throat, and immediately knew i had switched. so she pumped me for details and we window-shopped on the net for pretty outfits. there was one that was nothing but leather straps with a chain crotch that i was dying to purchase. "but my Dear," she said, "you must never wear anything like a chain that close to your punani...it might hurt you." "well, that's the idea, isn't it? to be able to turn pain into pleasure...it's exquisite!" i said. she and i stayed up late in the computer room talking and laughing and trading fantasies. Obsidian worked on her laptop and stayed hidden in the other room. ) now it was late, and Obsidian was sleeping. and i would be damned if i did not get a nice fat 'O' out of him!! i climbed into bed and yanked his pajama pants down and sucked him off. by the time i had him good and ready, i leapt on his cock and rode him like a deranged slut. i might have bit him on the nipple a few times (i get a little vicious and love to scratch and bite. it really excites me if i draw blood.). then i decided i wanted him to take me like the whore i am, so i demanded that he drive himself deeper into me. i never can get the force i want when i am on top. i want him to bang me with no mercy.
    well.

    he just said, "no. if i get on top, i will only cum, and i want you to use my c**k until you can't cum anymore.".
    gauntlet down, no holds barred.
    when i had exhausted myself to the point that i could not longer even catch my breath (must quit smoking.), i took him by the shoulders and yanked him onto his knees. he barely had time to say the standard, "turn over i want to get you on all fours." before i had flipped onto my belly and drawn myself up on my hands and knees. he flipped on the light and pushed my head down onto the pillows. then he pressed the small of my back until my ass was higher than the rest of my body and grabbed my buttocks one hand on each side, and clenched them in his grip. i was to remain in this position, he said, because he loved to watch me being penetrated. but this position offered no release for me! he had me at just the right angle that every thrust was just a tease. occasionally i disobeyed and arched my back enough to get the full benefit of his dick...but he seemed to immediately know what i was up to and would push into the small of my back again saying, "i told you. stay like this. don't move.". it was agony...but so deeply satisfying at the same time.
    after a few minutes of this he reached up and grabbed my right hand, drew it between my legs and just as i had begun to really pleasure myself, stroking my clit and the outside of my pussy, he growled, "Work my balls. Now.".

    dammit!

    he pulled my hand even further between my legs and so, feeling awkward as hell, i gripped them and squeezed. my reasoning was, "this bastard is torturing me, keeping me from my ultimate favorite style of orgasm, so i don't care if i damage his balls beyond all repair! wouldn't you know it, he enjoyed the squeezing and encouraged me to continue. after some time, i thought i might have gone mad. i was already out of breath before these calithenics, and i felt like my shoulder bones were going to crack. i figured i must have resembled a contortionist from Cirque Du Soliel. my arm was getting tired, but when i switched to the other, my muscles were still screaming in rebellion. i gasped out that i couldn't breathe and he chuckled at that. i begged him to let me stop working his balls, but he just grabbed my hand and put it back on them saying, "you'll stop when i tell you to stop. now work them.".
    when he came it was so powerful i could feel it against my cervix.
    and my nice leisurely "O" was no where to be found.
    i collapsed on my stomach and lay there recovering while he cleaned himself and i up . i made no move to assist him, as i was pretty sure my arms would fall off if i made another move.

    and it took me a good hour and a half to find the energy to dress myself again.

    i sure learned my lesson, though:

    i know now not to wake the demon in the bed, unless i have ample energy to satisfy it!

    as usual, today i got none...
    he did come in at one point and tell me that he was going to kiss me, because he was hungry for a kiss.

    this man's very kisses can induce an orgasm in me (and god help me if he even brushes his lips against my neck, my knees literally give out!).

    but after kissing me, (so deliciously), he just said, "okay, that's all i wanted..." and left the room!

    my son called me right then, so i ended up arguing with my Spawn about not going into the military unless he wants me to show up there to maim him so that the army will reject him...(i always tell my Gnu, that's my son's family name, that i will chop off one of his toes, because you must have all ten toes to be accepted in the armed services...lol), and i lost my window of opportunity with Obsidian!

    after i got off the phone, Obsidian had forgotten all about teasing me and i ended up experimenting with the Windows Movie Maker program i wanted to learn how to use...(i made three video slideshows, two were of my eldest children set to music by Tori Amos and one was of me and Obsidian set to a song by the Kidney Thieves. then i uploaded them to youtube. but the fourth video made the program crash, so, i guess i'll do it later...that one will be a video slideshow of my youngest Spawn, the Squeak, that's her family name.).

    and now what am i doing blogging instead of raping my poor Obsidian again?!

    i must get my orgasm, or i will go insane!
     
  12. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Aaahhhhh yes that most needed orgasm that never seems to cum..oops come. LOL It definitely sounds like he is trying to take the dominate role as you wished. It also sounds like you are trying to top from the bottom as well.

    Either way I do enjoy your post. I can almost see myself in the scene in some way from your literary skills. Keep the post coming. I am sure I speak for many when I say I look forward to reading them.
     
  13. Goddess of Discord
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    Goddess of Discord Obsidian's property

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    oh, i'm in trouble today!!!
    last night, despite heavy whining on my part, Obsidian only groaned in exhaustion that he wanted his sleep (no sleep, no sleep, no sleep sex for ME...sex NOW!!!) he reminded me that he had told me to go to bed early and if i came in that late, clearly i did not need sex...so i gave up after an hour or two of pawing at him (while he blissfully slept. how does he do that?! how can he just turn it off like that?!)

    he went to work at 5 in the morning as usual, and when i woke up (at noon...i'm such a lazy girl!), i went to town with the Forbidden Toybox. around 2 pm, i finally crawled out of bed, placed the toybox back upon the shelf exactly at the same angle as he hed left it;and congratulating myself on my cleverness) and got to my duties around the house. i scrubbed the bathroom from top to bottom, swept the floors and such. and when he got home i went for my shower.

    i satisfied myself in the bathroom before my shower and then washed my hair and shaved all over (less hair, more oral sex. the razor is my friend). when i got out, i tossed all my shower gear onto the bed and left the room to turn on the computer. i was happily typing away when he appeared at my shoulder holding my panties in his hand. "so, Honey, have you been jerking off?" he said conversationally. i froze in horror, my fingers poised over the keyboard. "Ummmm...shut up...." (i've never been too clever at witty retorts).
    "we have a deal. you disobeyed me." he said. i could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. "La, la, la...i can't hear you..." i sang and stuck my fingers in my ears. he held my thong in front of my face, "Obviously you didn't think i would notice you were jerking off. if you jerk off without me, then i will do the same to you.". "but you didn't want to fuck me last night!" i protested, "it wasn't fair!". he laughed and said, "That pussy is MINE. it's for me alone. You've been bad." and then STUFFED THE PANTIES INTO HIS MOUTH AND CHEWED ON THEM!
    (wtf?)
    i chased him around the house squealing at him and trying to pry them from his teeth. he could barely keep a good grip on them from laughing at me.
    when i had finally retreived my poor mutilated thong (oh, yeah, i don't think i can repair it, now, i heard it tear when i got ahold of it at one point and they were my pretty little pink ones, too!), he swatted me several times on my ass and admonished me again. i couldn't believe that he was in there looking at my panties ("but of course, i do." he told me, "i'm a guy! just call me Inspector 12.").

    well, i suppose i will just have to make it up to him one way or the other!
     
  14. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Yep you are definitely at the right site, you just need to be locked up as well! LOL
     
  15. Goddess of Discord
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    Goddess of Discord Obsidian's property

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    i wouldn't put it past him to purchase one of those devices now...he was pretty well angry at me for my indulgence...

    i went to bed early (around 1:30 a.m.) and he was ready to have at me. when i asked him to go down on me, he said nothing, just gripped both my wrists in his hand and pulled them back above my head. with his other hand, he slowly masturbated me. after a while i began to squirm, trying to get a little penetration. this seemed to amuse him very much. he talked to me, purring in a low voice about how he should not allow me release. he said, "i should make you give me head... and when i cum in your mouth... then you will remember not to displease me again...how many times have you done this before?... i have noticed the toys were out of place before this... i'm going to tell you what i told you when you were a little girl: i get a freebie on this... you can say nothing... in fact, i think i will take two freebies...". he gripped the back of my neck and directed it to his cock, releasing my arms. "now suck my dick...i shouldn't let you cum at all tonight. ...i'll bet you've been jerking off in at the computer, too. ...i'll bet everytime you write those things on that site, you are in there jerking off.". he was mercilessly stroking my cunt which was sopping wet by now, talking slowly, stroking slowly, while i wiggled around to try to force him to penetrate me with his fingers. i tried to lift my head and straddle him, but he held my head down and i could not free myself. i continued sucking him off, desperate to please him and change his mind, to get the fucking i was aching for. he continued speaking, "...i should make you leave this room and go print out every word you have written concerning me...i should make you kneel before me and read them to me....and they had better make me hard, too...i should make you jerk me off while you read every one of those posts...and then i should make you watch as i cum all over the pages...you'd like that, wouldn't you...for me to cum all over your work...then i'd make you keep them all in a separate notebook...". i was just about frenzied with desire by this time. i was making small animal sounds (i'm noisy in bed) and begging him from time to time as i came up for air, and finally, he relented. he said, "that's enough....now i'll fuck you... you're lucky i am so generous...i think i'll let you ride my dick, first... and when you are done cumming, then i'll fuck you from behind..." he kept talking the whole time, chastizing me for what i had done and telling me how lucky i was. i kept thanking him and finally when i couldn't stand just riding him anymore (i love it when he fucks me, he has more power in his thrusts and can really bang me harder than i can fuck him) he said, "are you finished? ...good. ...now get on your hands and knees.". he fucked me brutally...mercilessly, the harder he slammed his cock into me, the harder i came and the harder i yelled. when i told him, "it hurts. i love it." he pounded me even harder. he, as they say, tore that pussy up. i was cumming so hard and so fast, that i gasped out, "i can't stop...i can't stop..." and he said "good.". i kept thanking him for the preternatural fucking he gave me. and when he came i couldn't stop cumming. wow.

    i told him later that if i had known he would do this to me, i would have jerked off much sooner!

    he stood over me and said, "no, i fucked you like this because you came to bed early. the next time i tell you to come to bed, you will come to bed."

    oh yes, yes i will.

    let there be no doubt that i will race him to the bedroom when he tells me it is bedtime!
     
  16. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    sounds like things are going well for you. Good to hear.
     
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