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Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Kepoke, Aug 3, 2021.

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  1. Kepoke
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    Kepoke Active member

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    So my Mistress has definitely gotten more in to her role as Keyholder and being in charge of our relationship. Currently she has me permanently locked up in a Lori 8C with a PA pin but has talked about letting me out next year as a reward for good behavior and in the meantime if I maintain good behavior we will have "play" sessions where she teases me.

    She had a big conversation with me today regarding ensuring that I stay in line and she would be conducting weekly maintenance sessions (which as of yet I do not know what they consist of and she hasn't defined them).

    Previously these did consist of her shackling me in the basement and whipping me - at that time it was mostly for fun.

    She's alluded that this will probably be a component of her maintenance sessions to ensure I stay in line and if I get out of line she will be more and more fierce.

    My question is in regards to this. Previously when it was mostly for play she was fairly light with the "punishment" she was doling out to me with the whip and would let off when she felt she was hurting me too much.

    I guess my issue is that I don't want her to let off, I want her to really make me suffer and really really really regret if I do act out of turn and upset her. I don't want her to even consider if she is hurting me and truly unleash herself and whip me until I understand that I should never disappoint or upset her again and absolutely obey her.

    I'm not sure how to have this conversation with her however. I don't want her to feel as though I'm topping from the bottom and upset her.

    Any advice? Thx!@
     
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  2. HusbandX
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    HusbandX Active member

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    There's the classic writer's counsel: show, don't tell.
     
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  3. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    I agree with @HusbandX if you show her you can handle how hard she whips you she will incrementally start going harder and harder. Remember, it’s about her comfort zone too.
     
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  4. Kepoke
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    Kepoke Active member

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    That's a great point!
     
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  5. cumslave_2002
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    cumslave_2002 Ms. Shauna's Hubby

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    I asked my wife to punish me however and how hard she felt like. It turned from a tolerable caning, to now days if I’m not crying, balling and begging her to stop. She will not stop or let up until she is satisfied. I used to look forward to our little punishment sessions. Now I fear them. So careful what you ask for. Over time she will get more comfortable punishing you, and you might not have much say in it anymore.
     
  6. MistressKTx
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    MistressKTx New member

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    From a female perspective - it depends on what you are trying to get from this relationship. If it’s a flr then you don’t say anything, and you let her assume her role naturally. If you talk to her or guide her you are interrupting her assuming her dominance. If this is more play and less of a lifestyle you just need to man up and say something. Speaking from experience, if a sub is whining or cringing and we don’t have that kind of relationship I will back off because a.) I don’t need the police to show up the next day and b.) I don’t personally enjoy whining or crying. My former sub loved to talk big and then start complaining within a minute of being bound and it was no longer fun for me, so I found someone else who wasn’t a bore.
     
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  7. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    I agree with @MistressK the nature of the relationship should drive the outcome.
     
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  8. Junebug15
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    Junebug15 Active member

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    Agree
     
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  9. Kepoke
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    Kepoke Active member

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    Awesome! Thank you for the insights everyone! I'll definitely let it be and hope she comes in to her own with this. It's all fairly new to her and I know she probably thinks she's hurting me sometimes, but I want her to feel like she can ultimately do whatever she wants and she shouldn't worry about how it's impacting (pun intended :0) me! I just want her to feel like she can do what she needs to do to get the outcomes she's looking for and not worry about my level of comfort - I want it to be about her wants and needs and she has full control to achieve those things!
     
  10. Kepoke
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    Kepoke Active member

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    lol this is exactly how I want it to be!
     
  11. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Personally, I am not that into the deeper physical stuff, like being whipped, etc. I like a more psychological type creative punishment, like being locked in the basement for the night, with no escape, for example.

    However, it sounds like you guys do have a pretty good FLR going, with everyone doing their part to support it.

    I don't think it's something you just bring up. As the leader, She is sort of monitoring a lot of things at once. I send a lot of emails in the form of a journal to my Goddess that She does not respond to, reads when She wants to, and discusses with me on Her timeline, not mine. I also reques, at times, that we talk so that I can explain things to Her, and give Her some time to reflect on. It's communication within the framework of an FLR.

    By now, She knows full well that you have a deep reserve of submissive energy, dying to come out. But dominance is not something that just comes out like that. Mostly, because a Dominant doesn't like being told what to do, or that they have to do anything.

    My advice? Screenshot your post, send it to Her, and ask if you can have a platform for an honest discussion about it. Let Her decide if, when, and how it goes down, and don't break from your role during it. Also, understand, if She listens to this, it may take awhile for Her to get where you want Her to be, but given what you have described, I don't think She will have a problem at all.
     
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  12. Nicole Smith
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    Nicole Smith Snarky Little Thing With Keys to Spare

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    Why are all these FLR's ending up in in basements?
     
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  13. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    Lol. Because they are dungeoney, and my little makeup and clothes room is down there. We keep dog kennels, a little chamber with a door, bondage stuff.

    Basements are a great place to train a sissy!
     
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  14. Shimone
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    Shimone Active member

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    We are in a FLR for quite a while now and I think it quite natural and necessary to have open talks about wishes, dos, don'ts and wants.
    Speaking about it openly - not matter if you have your FlR / common rules in place during those talks or not I would not consider topping from the bottom - just common sence as no one can read minds and such talks are also quite important - especially in the beginning....
     
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  15. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Active member

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    We talked about maintenance spankings, my wife was a little nervous about it, about really hurting me or that I would get angry with her if she went a little too rough. But once I told her that I was fine with some
    pain, welts, etc, she took to it and over some time she found she really enjoys it! We’re not into severe things, but she really likes to see how the different implements leave marks or will ask me to rate which hurts more, thud vs sting ect.
    I agree with some others who commented that these types of talks aren’t topping, it’s more finding boundaries together and then that allows the KH to take it and make it theirs
     
  16. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    Bingo! It's a lifestyle (an FLR) for us, now. It didn't really start that way, but now she gives the orders routinely and I obey. And we both love it, and wouldn't have it any other way. I want to be owned and controlled by her as long as we both are living.
     
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