Mistress' Conclusions may be more then I can handle...

Hello to everyone, and please excuse my absence over the last month or so. Mistress had a little bit of a personal meltdown last month, and needed a period of a "normal" vanilla relationship. In my opinion she just needed to see that it was possible and easy to slip back into. The cool thing is it didn’t last that long, and she was eager to get back to our “new” normal. The upside for me, was I was allowed 3 orgasms in a 10 day period. The downside was I didn't like sliding back into my own normal role that I had played for many years. Thankfully Mistress remembered WHY she loved our D/s relationship so much and how much she hated how I act when sexually satisfied. Once she informed that she was prepared to be a more selfish and bitchy Mistress than ever before now, (which is AWESOME), I was told that orgasms for me we definitely OUT from now on! OUCH! But I cannot refuse my Mistress anything she desires. It has been a month now since my last and there is seriously no hope on the horizon that I can see. I was informed that when our activities turn themselves into loving making in the traditional sense I will be permitted IF she remembers to give me permission. I am now NEVER permitted to ask her or ever bring the topic up for discussion. Since “love making” is really a very rare thing, I am doing my best to take it one day at a time.

To really drive her point home she informed me that this Saturday will be something very special. May 19th will be our actual anniversary, and I have been informed that we will be going to a nice hotel where she will be fucking all the dildos and vibrators she has, (which is quite an impressive selection), but I will be refused everything sexual other then satisfying her orally. On top of that she informed me she will be reminding me how different things are from our wedding night. I am both excited and scared to death. I hope I don't make an ass of myself, and can behave in a manner that maximizes her enjoyment. Here’s hoping.


----DLB

 

I do feel very lucky timeupalso, and try never to forget that or take it forgranted. billyboi, you are so right. That exact type of thing lives strongly in both our fantasies. But for now that is where it is destined to remain. With so many downsides to things complicated with kids etc., it is hard for both of us to make that actual leap. At any rate, i am sure to be a mess by sunday morning...in total humiliated agony.

 

Thank you for you interest Mistress Deborah. I did not think my real torment for this weekend would be starting until Friday, but it did in fact start last night. Not only did my Mistress do everything possible to "seduce" me, but she had me escort her shopping at stores that are only fun for me because I know how much she loves the fact they make me bored and ornery, but expects and demands I remain chearful and pleasant. By the time Saturday roles around I am going to be close to demanding I be allowed to make love to her on our anniversary, but would NEVER dream of doing so. The punishments would be far to severe to make it worth it. I know that by Sunday night I will be in a deeper sub place then i ever have before, it is just the road to get there that is unnerving already.

As far as being denied, I have gone as long as 70 days/7weeks before, so I am still not in uncharted waters. What is new, is for the first time, i am POSSITIVE my Misstress does not want me cumming anymore, and I have no idea when it may even be considered. And of course the more she doesn't want me to, the more I want to. Quite a reversal from a couple years ago for us. Back in 2008 or so she actually used to feel bad for me. That thought now is laughable. She just wants her well behaved bitch to attend to her, and cares about little else most of the time.