Just wanted to say Hello. Will get around to an avatar when I get some inspiration ! I've been around the block a few times with relationships & thought I'd come across everything over the years - until my boyfriend & I exchanged fantasies a few months back. I was shocked when his all centred around being locked long term in a chastity device. Initially I couldn't see myself doing it at all but, after researching it, it was a quote I found from a Mistress on another website that convinced me to have a go - "Once he knew that he could only get his sexual gratification from me - and then only when I felt like it - he was all over me like a rash - running me baths, giving me massages and helping with the household chores and the longer I denied him the better he got". Put like that it would have been churlish not to play out his fantasy for him ! We kicked off with a CB3K but he has found the abstinence pretty difficult & it soon became clear that we were going to need a steel one. The Neosteel belt has only recently arrived and getting the fit right has meant that we've been swapping between the two a bit - but I think we are close now to him wearing the Neosteel permanently although he seems surprisingly reticent about this - considering that this was all his fantasy. I'm not sure whether that's because he knows that it is only really with the steel belt that he properly hands over control - he could after all break out of the CB3K any time. I've only had 'proper' penetrative sex twice in 13 weeks but yet I'm having the most fulfilled time of my life - and it is true that the longer he is denied the better he is ! I'm not sure really if the experience is exciting or disappointing for him - at times he seems to display both. I don't think he uses this site but I know he uses another one - I've seen it on the browser - but I can't track down any forum posts as I would love to know what he really thinks. I'm still developing as a keyholder too - learning from other more experienced keyholders. I'd done brief dominant role plays previously but never assumed the totally dominant position and, although I'm enjoying it, it does take some getting used to. To think that 3 months ago I nearly didn't do it.
hello there MsKate! welcome! :curtsey:: it sounds like You're having a wonderful time and have discovered something really wonderful! congratulations! ::curtsey::
Mistress Kate, it's been a long time since I read a post which reminded my why, exactly, I started this journey in the first place! What a great post, it reminded me of a lot of things from a loooong time ago (well, 2 years!) Thank you. Welcome to the site, please make yourself at home. :animal0008:
Thanks Mistress Watchful. You will never know how helpful your posts - on another site - have been to me over recent weeks. It is good to know that others have the same insecurities and challenges in getting to where we would like to be. That in itself is a step forward for me because, when I embarked on this, I was trying to get to where I thought my boyfriend wanted me to be - but now, three months on, I really want to get there myself - for me ! I am now catching up with some of the posts on here. Congratulations on creating what seems to be a really friendly environment for non seasoned campaigners like me !
Mistress Kate, Welcome to the group. It's wonderful to have yet another Mistress involved here. The participation of the gentler sex has become one of many strengths of the Chastity Mansion and, I think, the reason that the group is so easy going. You mentioned that he seems disappointed or hesitant at times, but that you're not sure what the issues may be, because he is not forthcoming with his concerns. That is a common reaction from guys. Even those with the courage, and a willing, supportive partner, to actually enter into a real chastity agreement. I know for myself it took quite a long while to be able to fully commit my body, mind and spirit. What eventually worked was knowing that I'd get some relief on a fairly regular basis. There was no guarantee of an orgasm, but there was certainty of stimulation, and that was enough to keep me committed. If you lose the spirit, the body and mind will soon follow. In order to keep his spirits up and to maintain his committment to being chaste for you, it may be helpful to provide him with periodic stimulation, with the possibility of an orgasm, for good behavior. Additionally, to help resolve the communication issue, perhaps you could require that he put his thoughts and feelings in writing each week in order to be eligible for any stimulation. Kinkish1
Thanks kinkish1. There's no contract in place - it really seems to have just developed without any great plan ! However, I'm getting more comfortable & confident and am looking to ramp up the tease. Avatar now sorted - intended to tease him when he eventually comes across this site (if he hasn't already !). He knows those three items very well indeed. LOL ! Thanks for your ideas.