Masturbation control

Welcome. You seem to be ready and willing to undertake a new chapter of life. Noble gesture! It doesn't really mean much until you are locked in a device. It is a whole different perspective for masturbation control (this is experience talking) Get locked and discover a whole new level of being a mature hetero male

 

I would advise start by being self locked in order to get used to it. You can always allow yourself. time out of the device ........ your eventual KH may not be so kind (lol)

 

Quite honestly, if I read your post correctly, it sounds like you still want to continue to masturbate but want to do it under the control of a Mistress. Does not really sound like you are interested in chastity; something you actually state. You may be better served by going to a D/S forum where you can find others like you. You can learn how to please a woman with your fingers and mouth by Googling it. You do not need a Mistress to tell you how to do that. Plus what one woman likes, another may not. I know that from a long period of experience. Best thing you can do is get out there and meet woman. You may be surprised as to where you will find your Mistress. They often are disguised as teachers, office workers, etc.. Mine have never been women who are overtly sexual or dress slutty. They all were woman that you would never think were kinky.

Odds are that you not going to be satisfied with a non professional Mistress because she will not follow the script you have in your fantasy. What is in it for her, unless you are paying her to do whatever you want? If you ask some of the women here, you will find that often, the submissive disappears or complains because she is not doing things exactly as he wants them done and it ends up with the submissive trying to dominate the Mistress.

Lastly, there is nothing wrong with masturbations. I used to do I it whenever I could for stress relief. I still had a very successful career, was energetic and was an attentive and caring lover who women likes to stay with. When I started practicing chastity I did not turn into a new person. I just became a more horny person. Of course, it works different for each individual. If masturbation is interfering with you life in some way then by all means do something about it. If it is not and you just like being submissive, as I was for a few decades, go out, meet women, bring up things in conversations to feel them out about their feelings about sexual experimentation and then go from there. One thing to keep in mind is that many, if not most woman, prefer to be the submissive one sexually. I do not know if today's generation is different so I cannot say if that is still the case.

If you just look around the web, you will see so many guys looking for dominant women. That tends to make me believe that dominant woman are still hard to find. I am just trying to give you a broader view of things and not one just from a chastity viewpoint. It is a lot of fun to have a woman control how and when you orgasm. Some guys prefer not to have frequent orgasms while others, like me, love orgasms and just like a little delay between them to make things more interesting. I went from masturbating a few times a day to not masturbating at all. I am unlocked much more than locked and since it was my idea to do chastity, I can control myself when I am not locked. If I do not, I am only cheating myself. BTW, it did not magically make me a better person.

I do not place any significance on my chastity device. To me it is just a hunk of plastic that gives me pause, in case I want to masturbate. Most of the other guys here probably feel different. To them it has deep and significant meaning beyond being a preventive device. Chastity is not my main thing. Tease and Denial is, which may be what you are looking for. To be teased over and over again without knowing when or how you can orgasm but not being denied for too long a period.

Just examine closely what you really want and then go from there. I will repeat, you may never be satisfied long term unless you get into a real relationship versus internet or long distance. It is just not the same. Good luck and think about whether or not you want to get into chastity which, at its core, is about going without orgasms as much as possible.

 

The simplest advice is to get out there and meet people, find out where your local munch is and participate.

If you insist on staying only online then you need to learn to express and sell yourself. As SteveM has pointed out (and you'll see it said in all D/s forums) there are far more male subs than there are dommes. The accepted ratio is 100 to 1.

How do you bring the odds more in to your favour ? You have to make yourself appeal in some way to a potential partner. For a start a picture-less and information-less profile are not going to attract anyone's attention. How is a potential partner to discern your finer qualities that match what she's looking for if you don't tell anyone ?

Secondly, it always helps in an online forum to participate. I don't mean just post saying "I want xxxxx". I mean participating more generally in forums and chat. Expressing yourself in that way can tell other people a lot more than you think - such as do they like your writing skills, sense of humour or something else that you express ?

Finally, posting "I want xxxxx" is a great turn off. What are you offering to the relationship with a potential domme ? If you think about it, a woman reading such a post is going to assume that she as a person with her own wants and desires is not a consideration in the deal, it's assumed she's an automaton included only as some sort of fantasy fulfilment object.

Learn to sell yourself and to do that you need to consider what it is that your target customer is looking for.

 

Good info all

 

most keyholders, myself included, are not interested in your orgasms. we are interested in the ones you dont have. how long you go shows your devotion.

 

this is always a tricky area, especially if you are not attached, plus as has been said before, each of us joins the game for a different reason. My sub, wasnt happy with the amount he used to masturbate, and wanted to be submissive. He has given me control of his cock, and I do what i want with it when I want. I didnt even know the extent to which he did masturbate. He now has not masturbated since last october, infact, he has only cum twice since, 17th october, and 27th december. If you want a keyholder and nothing more, then keep looking, its not that hard to find them, if you want a dom, its a bit more tricky, you need to have some sort of a relationship with the person first. My sub is my long term partner of over 10 years! good luck

 

I like the control my wife/Mistress has over my orgasms, When I was younger I would masturbate three times a day, my penis would be sore and honestly bleed from masturbation, wearing my skin raw Jacking myself off. Sometimes I would get up at three in the morning and go in the bathroom, and masturbate, and go back to sleep. Now my wife decides when I orgasm. I love the control.

 

masturbation is fine, as long as it is supervised. although i never allow slave to do it, i do allow others. but i think most men would do it all the time, if not locked. im so glad that in the past few years, chastity has become more and more popular. i know slave is much more productive when locked. when locked he does the things that leave time for me to do things i like, like nails, talk to men, date, hahaha.

 

Unlike what you may have read, Mistresses seem to prefer strong men with a lot to offer rather than someone with a low self image who is submissive in all aspects of his life. What is the fun of dominating someone who has nothing to dominate and who has nothing that will give her the feeling of power and control. Sort of like beating a dead horse kind of thing.

I used to be into BDSM and the various women who dominated me enjoyed it because I had a high level job, was an alpha male outside of the bedroom, a jock, considered good looking enough to not scare them and intelligent enough to make it interesting. In fact, two of my Mistresses were met at Mensa meetings. It really takes an intelligent women to be a good Mistress as a lot of it has to do with understanding the psychology of the fetish and uncover the darkest secrets and desires of the sub. Anyone can whip me but a smart women can do it in such a way that it is erotic and presses all of my buttons. Mistresses can usually tell a lot from a prospective sub by how well they write and/or speak. You cannot just tell them that you are worthless and want to be dominated. If that is the case, you have let life dominate you and need no extra help.

I suggest that you gain some confidence in yourself and present yourself in a better light. Dominant women like nothing better than to dominate a man who is worth their time to dominate. Work on yourself, as everyone has something to offer. Find those qualities in yourself that may be of interest to a Mistress. Heck, ask a few Mistresses what they look for or do some research and then become that person, but do it for real because sooner or later, your Mistress will know the real you. Best of luck to you on the hard road you have chosen to take.

 

ive found most slaves, mine included, are very controlling of things in the daily dealings. they need, and look forward to being controlled by someone. love being that someone!

 

I couldn't agree more. Who wants someone around that can't carry a decent conversation ? Not me.

 

Ohh great thought, I had never thought of that perspective ".... we are interested in the ones you dont have."

 

I love decent conversations, it's just the alpha male tripe that annoys me.

 

Be careful what you wish for.

Mistress was unhappy with my excessive masturbation and decided she would take complete control of her cock and balls. She decided that 90 days would be the MINIMUM time she would start with .... well that went to pass and she made me go 234 days. She edged me many times during that period and would always get me close during her training and then lock her cock back away.

 

Wow 234 days !!!!!!

 

the best control? lock the little wankers up!

 

i wonder how you are getting on. The response you have had to your initial post is interesting. The only thing I would add is that I dont your mistress needs to be incredibly intelligent, but it does help hugely if she knows YOU well. Whilst Im not stupid, I wouldn't class myself as particularly intelligent, but I do know which buttons to press on my sub and if I want to, I can get him turned on in minutes! Dont forget also, that BDSM/Chastity/FMR's etc all can go hand in hand. I sometimes feel that there is way too much emphasis placed on the chastity device. It is all about orgasm control/denial. and as the previous Mistress said, quite correctly, she isnt interested in the ones you do have, its the ones you DONT have that she is interested in.