Anyone surprised by their non-kinky partner’s enthusiasm?

that's nice

 

I seem to be in a "careful what you wish for" scenario at the moment.
I have been playing with chastity for a few years off and on. My wife always lets me out so the excitement wore off for a while.
Monday morning while cuddling we didnt have time for sex before work so I off the cuff mentioned caging up until that night when we could finish.
Monday evening she was not enthusiastic about unlocking me so I slept in my Holy Trainer v4 Nano.
Here I am on Friday writting this and thrre is no mention of release from her.
She has taken key security much much more serious and doesn't leave them laying around anymore.
It was when she agreed to an older request that I knew something was up.
Handcuffing me during wash up so that I never get to touch my junk.
After a couple of pinches, she recaged me and removed the cuffs. I interpreted this as an escalation.
I guess I see where this goes, it seems she got good at saying no.

 

We were never fully vanilla, but over the last 10 years, Xena has chastity has kept pushing the limits of my chastity, so now I'm "permanently" chaste.

The discourse has actually flipped. When we started out, she was puzzled by why I liked chastity. Now she's puzzled if I suggest any sort of interruption to the regimen.

 

So far so good! We’re very new. I’ve always been a kinkster and she’s aware. She’s pretty vanilla. But when I brought it up she was willing. First day went incredibly. Many massages for her a nice happy ending for her and I went to bed throbbing and thrilled. Excited to see where it goes!

 

I love the sound of that

 

My Wife of 37 years is very vanilla, while I am very kinky and masochistic. She understands that I am wired as a submissive, but I'd come to Her with these ridiculous fantasies. In addition to being vanilla, She is sweet and not naturally dominant, and so that was going nowhere. It caused friction in our marriage. I masturbated in private to nasty porn, and did perverted things to myself that would have shocked Her.

Alas, She has for years suffered from a reduced libido. On top of that, in 2010 I hit a rough patch, my latent depression (the medicated kind) hit hard, and I became a snarky, depressed asshole of a husband. I was incredibly hard on myself and Her, and would fly off the handle when things frustrated me - even little things. She has had to accommodate scary, unpredictable males for most of Her life, and this was really pushing Her into a very bad place. She gained weight and I lost interest in her sexually. We still loved each other but grew apart, and our marriage was headed for the skids. Our sex life pretty much stopped. We haven't had PIV sex since before that time.

I suggested chastity about 6 or 7 years ago and we tried it, but it was mostly just for me - a kink to experience - not for our marriage. She indulged me but got nothing out of it. It didn't help our sex life at all. The cage sucked. I dropped it after a couple of months and She said nothing.

Finally we sought couples counseling, and I also sought counseling myself and got much better pharmacological care. Over time I came to realize that I could combine submission and chastity with a renewed commitment to Her and to our marriage. I proposed, and She helped me prefect, what we call the Three Rules:

1. Always be kind to my Wife.
2. Always be nice to myself.
3. Respond proportionately - rather than have a tantrum - when things don't go the way I think they should.

Chastity was a good addition because we both wanted to be more intimate and ultimately restart our sex life. Chastity, or more importantly, ceasing masturbation, was crucial to that. I believe that solo masturbation is marital cheating. We also added corporal punishment because we agreed that holding me accountable was the only way for this to succeed. I bought her a big hairbrush. Alas, She has learned to wield it very expertly.

She has for years indulged my submissive side. But She took to chastity like a duck takes to water. I've had exactly one orgasm in the 3.25 years we've been at it. She has no problem whatsoever denying me, to the point of it being unremarkable. People say that disinterest is a killer in this kind of relationship, but I disagree. It's just another way I should submit. And She "wakes up" to remind me about my predicament often enough to keep me feeling alive.

She's also gotten a lot more comfortable with me serving Her. We have a "gentle FLR" where I do as many chores as She will let me, bring Her coffee in bed, etc. She's learning to boss me around a little bit, and to be a tiny bit selfish. She's gotten more comfortable helping me get my BDSM sessions. And She really enjoys CBT: that is by far the most popular form of physical teasing She does for me in my cage. "Ball therapy" is something She is quite happy to provide. She is also very happy to help me suffocate by smothering me with Her breast.

I ordered, and we bought, a very expensive total immobilization sack from a gay fetish store in the city near us. When it was ready, we went together to pick it up. Entering the store was a shock, even for me, but She accepted it with aplomb. "I may be vanilla, but I'm not a prude." A quote from Her that I will never, ever forget. She and the store manager stripped me to my underwear and put me in the sack right then and there, and then he gave Her a tour of the store and the workrooms in the back for their custom stuff for the next 20 minutes. No problem! We bought kinky underwear and blindfolds. She watched with interest as a young woman had her boyfriend strip to the waist and try on harnesses.

She also has really taken hold of treating me like a sex object! She dresses me in tight clothing. She likes me to wear swimming trunks that are very unlike the normal baggy, knee-length things men in the U.S. wear. She calls them "James Bond" after Daniel Craig's suit.

She has me wear very, very tight tights from Ishtar & Brute every evening, even out to the mailbox. We have about 15 pair in every color they offer. She loves to make Her girlfriends jealous by dressing me in body-conscious clothing for parties and having me be gentlemanly and attentive around them, while I unobtrusively serve them. She calls me "Boy Toy" to my face in front of them. They pretend to be shocked, but quickly get in the spirit and are green with envy.

So She doesn't wear the key openly, or peg me, or edge me, or masturbate in front of me, or make me service Her orally. Too bad. I'm so blessed.

I'm sorry this was is so long. Kudos to you if you made it down here. I got a lot out of writing it, and I appreciate your patience with me.

Peace.

 

It really is.

Likewise.

We are better men because of it.