Hi all My Bride/KH is on board with 24x7 chastity lifestyle. However, she isn't very sexual and generally doesn't have an interest in sexual activity every day, and sometime every week. My Bride allows me to oral service her about once every 3 weeks. She says she doesn't need more often than that. She also generally isn't interested in the tease and denial aspect except maybe once a month. She is interested in being massaged and massage her feet nearly every day. And I adore her feet. Currently, it's been 5.5 weeks since my last PIV release, and serviced her once. She asked me for ideas for other rewards beyond massaging that could be of interest to her. Previously, she asked for ideas for punishments, and that was relatively easy. I could generate a bunch of "low involvement" punishment ideas for her. But strangely, low involvement rewards are a little more difficult to brainstorm so wanted to reach out to the community for suggestions. For this, assume she needs to stay clothed. and shouldn't involve something that is normally associated with sexual foreplay (IE a short handjob doesn't count)
So my dude, you have mismatched libidos with your partner. Significantly so. She should talk to a doctor and make sure her hormone levels are in a healthy range. Is she on birth control or an anti-depressant? Those can affect libido. Beyond that, look into couples' therapy. She may be feeling like she isn't emotionally close enough to you to be aroused. This isn't going to be solved by coming up with more activities. You both deserve a partner who wants to engage with you.
Supervised masturbation where she doesn't have to have to actively do anything but still controls you. Like for example forcing you to ruin your own orgasm. If that works for you, you could also have her train you to cum prematurely. You're allowed to cum but only if you manage to cum before a timer runs out. Every time you're successful, the time gets reduced for the next release. Once you're able to cum really quickly she could start giving you real handjobs and it wouldn't take much effort on her part because it's over within a few strokes.
Is She is your KH? Then it´s her decision, or not so? If not, talk to her and listen carefully of what she has to say. Then, if possible discuss and analyze your situation and try to work out a solution which is acceptable for both of you. Openess is the key to this and compromises may lead to succes for everbody concerned. These are just my thoughts (with 33 years of marrige one is able to share a few wise words to the world). Oh, I forgott to mention!! Errors and ommisions excluded
If sexual activity is important to you but your spouse has no interest then there's going to be disappointment and strife in the relationship.
Masturbation with your partner (even if she isn't doing it as well) can be just as erotic and connecting as sex. She can either let you edge without coming or let you orgasm. Depending on what gets you off, she can even taunt you that you are "pussy-free" and jerking off. It is so amazing how intense an orgasm is after you have been orgasm free for a while. Most women think it's gross but have no idea that a man can be turned on by just sniffing a womans worn panties. Maybe that can be a treat to just lay back and smell her for a few minutes? Or just lay there with her panties on with your nose in her fold for a minute or two without trying to arouse her further.
She's come out the other side of menopause recently. vaginal wetness has been a concern as well. It seems no matter how much lube I use, PIV has been painful for her.
Kind of in the same boat. To a surprise we actually went to an adult store together. We were lucky enough to get a great sales person that was kind and helped us a lot. We ended up getting a little vacuum clit stimulator for her. . As people have told me. Just be patient with her. But guide her in a direction that she learns to enjoy sex. Or at least stimulating herself.
Now that we're learning more about the asexuality spectrum, and how women's body's change over time, that sounds perfectly reasonable. What's your love language? There are the big five (physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gifts), but there may be others (my best friend's is that she gets to do nothing, for instance). Knowing what makes you feel loved will help you puzzle out what actions would feel most like rewards.
I'm a Verbal followed closely by physical touch. She's a strong quality time. We've also done Meyers Briggs. I'm ESTP, she's ESFJ. Each letter ranges on a scale of +50 to -50. For the last 2 letters - I'm +50 towards T, she's -50 towards F. So I'm a thinker...she's a feeler. On the last letter, I'm +49 Perceiver, she's -50 Judger. Whoa...that combination has led to some challenges in our marriage. Before we identified this, we would fight a lot. Now that we understand how we are different, we can talk about things and appreciate each other. I would say this identification from Meyers Briggs not only saved our marriage, but made it incredibly strong. And OMG...I just looked at your pictures. The queening chair looks amazing and makes me jealous. i'd love to service my bride under that. I floated the idea of a golden shower...she was not on board to say the least. But that chair looks amazing.