Chastity, drugs and my wife's friends have changed our marriage.

My wife and I had sex today. That makes two days in a row. Tonight she had a toe curling orgasm when she was not in the mood for sex. Her orgasms keep getting better the longer I am denied mine. I posted about that before. I started a new medication with a side effect of making me impotent and anorgasmic. Seems to have kicked in after two weeks. I could not even make myself hard or get close to an orgasm. My wife declared my penis as even more useless than normal and trying to edge me seems like a lot of work with no reward for her. So she is not going to bother and prefers that I just stay locked up.

As we were relaxing as she came down from her toe curling orgasm with her vibrator, I started to think that our marriage is really run by her. Not like the FLR fantasies you read about online but rather the same marriage, but my wife leads it now. I also came to realize that all of her female friends lead their marriages and in fact, so do many of the married women who live in our large retirement community. The reason is that the wives are usually younger. The husbands of my wife's friends all have either prostate cancer or heart disease. They do not have sex anymore. Lower testosterone, reduced libido and memory problems also contribute to having their wife lead the marriage.

In our case, my daily medications mess with my memory and cloud my mind. I get confused at times. My wife will not let me drive when she is in the car because my mind wanders and I have crashed into our garage and twice turned into a lane with a car coming. I also have diabetes that is messing with my body in different ways. One way is causing Erectile Dysfunction which I have and it seems that even Viagra does not help much. Last week I was put on another drug whose side effect is anorgasmia. So in addition to not getting hard, I cannot orgasm either. My libido went from high to barely there.

Mix all of the above with her spending three nights a week with her girlfriends who lead their marriages, and you have a subtle shift from me leading the marriage to my wife doing so. As I have always asked, why when a man leads a marriage they do not require their wives to be slaves, lick their feet or get whipped for any infraction of some rules he set? Yet when men think of a FLR, it becomes the fantasy we all read about online. For us it is subtle changes. She schedules my life for me and keeps me from doing things that may not end well. I have naturally fallen in line due to the chastity but she still asks me to do things politely and thanks me for doing them. To her, leading the marriage is simply a practical thing of letting the person best equipped to lead the marriage, do it.

My life has changed a lot since we started chastity 4 years ago. Prior to that I stopped taking any medication that affected my sex life. Now I do not care since I am not not using my penis for anything anyway. We have not had intercourse for so long that we cannot remember when we had it last. Maybe 15-20 years ago. It stopped halfway through her relationship with her girlfriend as she started to prefer sex with women, more than with men. She likes sex with me but given the limitations of medically induced penis problems and no intercourse. it was not the same without her girlfriend in bed with us.

Funny how this journey changed the dynamics of our marriage and not in a D/s way in a slow and subtle way. You can lead a marriage without becoming a Mistress or domme. Our marriage has always been equal with neither of us doing something that the other did not like. If she did not like one of my friends, I dropped him. If I did not like her going out with her friends every other night, she stopped doing it. We always reached a compromise with no one having the final say. It is still that way. Perhaps it is best said as my wife managing our marriage and me. I really did not realize it until today as I was so focused on sex that I paid little attention to everything else. Chastity has been responsible for most of the differences. I do not live in fantasyland so nothing exciting to report about licking my wife's feet and being her slave. We love each other after all and no one wants to be married to a slave.

I also learned that women are subtle. I was not challenged on anything but slowly and surely my wife got me to be less reliant on orgasms and her managing our marriage. Clever girl.