My wife and I have tried various chastity time periods. We both prefer just a week as my orgasms usually trigger my wife's own orgasm and she just likes to make me cum. I also like to have an orgasm once a week because if I do not, I am consumed 24/7 with thoughts of sex. I dream about it and cannot seem to stop bugging my wife about it no matter what the punishment. Adding more time is not an effective deterrent because you reach a point where your orgasm date is so far away that the threat of more time loses is impact. I also do not enjoy feeling horny every minute of the day. Some may enjoy it, but I do not, especially since I am retired and with my wife every day. We are agreed on a week as it meets bought of our wants and needs and that is what it is all about. The problem is that my wife hates the way I am for the 3-4 days after my orgasm. I no longer feel submissive and not eager to do what she tells me to do. Instead of seeing the puppy dog eager to please, she sees resentment on my face when told to do anything by her. I agree with her. I feel dominant again after my orgasm and until horniness kicks in, I am in no mood to play the sub. This is a stumbling block we need to over come to meet our schedule of orgasms. My wife did some research and got the feeling that the key to lessening the impact of my orgasm, it is necessary to remind me of my submissiveness to her immediately after my orgasm. In the past, I had my orgasm and we went on for a few days without me even locking up because I did not feel the need to masturbate. We use my CB6000 only as a masturbation deterrent so I wear it only when necessary. The two ideas she liked were to make me eat my cum immediately after my orgasm. She knows that I do not like this and I rarely have done so, every time she tried. The other thing she will do is make me lock up immediately after my orgasm and start dominating me immediately. She is hoping that this will put me into a submissive and obedient frame of mind quicker than before. She said that she could live with me being 'bitchy' for one day but not 4 days as it is now. I told her that I am not so sure about the cum eating thing as I really do not like it at all, as she well knows. She said that is precisely why she wants me to do it. It is one of the few things she tells me to do that I actually hate to do. Everything else, I do not mind. I finally agreed to it if we do it in stages. Tonight I will just lick her fingers clean. Then next week she will feed me more until she can capture all of my cum in her hand an I can eat it all. I am also supposed to lick clean, any place it lands. I do not know if I can end up where she wants me to be but I had no problem cleaning her after intercourse in the past when she used to allow that. I have no problem in doing it when I am horny and she feeds me from a week old rubber or a frozen cum ice cube. I have even eaten the cum of other men from my wife and my old girlfriend. So I think it is one of those psychological barriers making me adverse to eating it after I have an orgasm. I got used to a lot worse things in my mouth so I probably can get used to this. I do agree that she needs to take control again right after my orgasm rather than backing off on the D/S stuff because she sees my resentment when I do what she asks. She mentioned that for years, she has swallowed my cum when she was not horny and it was done as a dominating act and now she just wants to reverse that. I can see her point so I will give it a try tonight. I do not mind the locking up part but I wonder if anyone else gets more horny locked up than they do unlocked. I do. Anyone else have any ideas of how to put me back into a submissive mood right after my orgasm? All reasonable and realistic suggestion will be given serious consideration as we are desperate to find a fix for this problem. One good suggestion I came across on the web was that instead of making Saturday orgasm night, we view it as a test of control for me. I have to try not to cum while my wife tries to make me cum. Of course, I will end up cumming and that then becomes a reason to administer punishment in the form of domestic discipline. I found this very interesting because it changes the whole dynamics of what we do. My goal changes from having an orgasm to trying not to have one and there is punishment involved if I do have an orgasm. This is much different than edging as my wife will use every trick she knows to force my orgasm and I know that she can because I have tried in the past to resist to no avail. I thought this to be a very clever idea and hope that someone here can suggest more things that may work.
If neither having orgasm free PIV sex with your wife, nor ruined orgasms are an option, I don't see that there's much you can do to lessen the impact of your orgasms. Locking up immediately after orgasm may help the body to ramp up the production of dopamine, the hormone responsible for arousal, but I don't think it would do anything to suppress the release of the hormones that are released at orgasm to shut down the action of the dopamine. I'm allowed only three to five orgasms a year, and it seems that, where it used to take me days to recover, I'm now ready and eager to come again the next day. Of course, I never get to do that. One question... Do you exercise regularly? It seems to me that vigorous exercise may help me recover more quickly.
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The feeling of post orgasm blues is just your ego coming back. Time to lock back up and concentrate on your key holder. If it continues to be an issue it might be worth having more regular orgasms so you have more opportunities to work through the issues. Remember, everyone is different and its not a competition to see who can go longest without cumming
Day two and I have remained submissive Amen to that. I have noticed that a few treat it like a contest, asking if this or that counts as cumming. one week is more frequent. Used to he two weeks. My wife sometimes wants me to vim twice a week. For us, it is all about her deciding our sexual schedule, so it is flexible. If I do not want to cum and she does, she will make me cum. It is always ladies' choice around here. We are past the experimental stage.
Its normal for a male to loose interest after orgasms, just except you will be locked up again whether you feel like it or not. My wife selected a cage where she can just simply open it side ways, masturbate me off then close the cage straight away, I'm never completely removed when being given an orgasm.
My wife now makes me eat all of my cum, even after a ruined orgasm and has me lock up immediately after sex. That is working for us so far and I am actually getting used to it. She is also extending my chastity periods and before I start making noise about needing an orgasm, I have to consider if I am horny enough to eat my cum afterwards. That adds something new to our chastity. My CB6000s is now comfortable enough that I forget I am wearing it so she has me wear it even when she is with me. As my wife said to me today, do not argue with success, so we will continue this routine. My guess is that we will end up with a routine of a few ruined orgasm followed by a full one every month or two. Since my wife is going to have surgery that makes sex not possible for two months, we are working to build me up to going that long before her surgery. I thought she would let me masturbate while she was recovering but she said that she expected me not to as usual. It is interesting to say the least.
I was finding it was taking me 3 or 4 days post orgasm to "ramp back up" again. Last night I was due for an orgasm, so I suggested to my Mistress that perhaps following the orgasm (and a short break to clean up and to let me "come down") with an intense T&D session followed by immediate lock up might bootstrap the process. Well let me tell you, it seems to have worked. I am hornier and more willing to please today than I was right before the orgasm. Another thing which might help get you back in "the zone" (but which I haven't tried myself) is for your Mistress to put you on a masturbation schedule. This entails enforced masturbation without release for a set amount of time every day (she can make you use a Fleshlight or something similar if you are not allowed to touch yourself). In the description of it I read, Mistress has her sub masturbate for 20 minutes twice daily (morning and night) taking 1 minute breaks whenever he's too close to cumming. To add to the fun, she does not count the break time towards the 20 minutes, so it can last longer than that. This is also done on top of any other play that day.