New here. New to chastity.

Hi. Im 40+ yr old and looking to try something new. My sex drive is still very high where as my partner, she is not. It has been that was for a long time. Its another situation with childhood stuff. Im very cautious with her and interactions so she is comfortable. As you can imagine, this makes it hard to be intimate. Now add into getting up there in age and its more a struggle to be both in the mood.

Anyways. I always found ways to handle myself. Almost to a questionable addiction level. Ok, yes its an addiction. One way I thought to help curb it is chastity. So, I did a little reading and just jumped right in. Its a silcone model and fits comfortably. While wearing it the first time, I was chatting with other chastity people and was told about Chaster. Well, that just increased the desire to try it more and more.

So, now here I am liking the first week of off and on short wearing and decided to look more into this and see how to break it to and include my wife.

 

I agree. However its hard to have these conversations with her since so many things stack against us including her own bias even though while dating she said she had a freaky side. I'm not sure what that means but if she is I haven't seen that even during college dating. Theres been some "spice" but its minor play like allowing me to finger her cream pie filled V in the rare times I finish before she does.

I listen to random sex advice podcasts and read up on our situation and how to deal with it. Every time I go down this rabbit hole I find myself more depressed and hopeless as I watch it get worse. Eventually I'll be lucky to have alone time with her 3 times a year.

At this point, I feel like its a life of hidden solitude to self explore in the shadows. I am in a FLR and living it out in my head. I have no issues being in an FLR but wish there were other positives to that arrangement.

 

That I am not to sure about.

For starters, I am going to wait until one of two things occur. These items in the past have occurred and led to some brief discussion but was very short lived.

1. After a few months of intimacy anorexia, she might try when she sees my depression get really bad. Sometimes we stop after a minute and then she has some reason she has to stop. Or we do finish, or she does in a few minutes. She hurts physically and mentally for days after and will discuss and apologize. I console her but need to change that tactic.

2. Sometimes we joke about womens clothing especially doing laundering and ironing. She then jokes I should try them on. I tell her I would stretch them out or they clearly won't fit my build. The next time this comes up Ill offer her a chance to dress me up and makeover if she wishes. She does seem to have a fascination in painting my nails and other makeup things. Allowing her to control the kinky time and see if that opens up anything further.