Although we have, rather intermittently, dabbled in chastity play since 2008 I have not posted much on here apart from my impression of a couple of devices from way back. I thought I might write this belated introduction as a way of both explaining our attitude towards chastity play and of getting it straight in our own minds. As I have mentioned before we are in no way serious players in the lifestyle modification category. Our marriage is very much a union of equals. We met, over 40 years ago, as students - a scientist and a medic. It was, in the early days, as much a “locking of horns” as a romance as we are typical of our trades - people not much given to being wrong! Fast-forward a few decades and a family and we are a 'middle-aged' couple who have slightly belatedly thrown off the shackles of our straight-laced upbringings to realise that kinky is good - kinky makes your n-thousandth sexual embrace something potentially new - something to be anticipated and not just predicted. My introduction to chastity came on reading a thread on the lovehoney forum in 2008. Initially I just wanted to get my head around the whole concept (partly to understand how the devices had reached serious volume production!) but fairly soon I realised that I also found the idea strangely erotic. Trying to analyse why I found it so is more difficult. I guess the old theme of recapturing some of the frustrated wonderment of the days before our relationship was consummated is in the mix but it's also a formalisation that, for me, my orgasm is far less important for my feeling of well-being and self-esteem than is my wife's gratification. This extends outside the bed-room and is mutual - our arguments often occur when each is trying to argue that we do what we know the other would actually like to do. Ours is most definitely a JLR - a jointly led relationship. I guess the wearing of the chastity device in bed is a statement in metal that tonight is all about her physical pleasure which of course makes it still very much about my mental, emotional pleasure/well-being. I would argue that the female orgasm is for her physical pleasure and his mental well-being while a chastity device is a toy for his body but her mind. I would be very interested to hear if our view of chastity has any resonance for others here.
Hello @gyrator53 - a great belated introduction. As I joined the site a week after you back in 2008, I'm not sure I am entitled to say "welcome" I had noticed you were more busy posting recently, which is great As you are well aware, I am sure, this is a broad church of interests and approaches so whatever suits you and your wife is great. Your concept of "recapturing some of the frustrated wonderment of the days before our relationship was consummated" chimes with me as well as "my orgasm is far less important for my feeling of well-being and self-esteem than is my wife's gratification". Good post
@maid_carrie and @jemima - many thanks for the replies and the welcome. I'm hoping to try to spread the word on other forums as to how good chastity play can be even at a not very intense level. Did the same starting in the late 90s over pegging (which didn't even have that name back then) and got myself into some pretty hot water on some sites as a consequence. I somehow feel that chastity play has not made the same breakthrough into the main-stream despite the number of devices on sale and the number of outlets selling them suggesting that somewhere, at some level, it's much more common than we might think. However, there was a time when pegging was like that - there was a time when there must have been 100 men who had done and liked it for every one that would stand up and say so.