Hi. It might be real life, or it might just be fantasy, but how strict do we really wish our wives/partners/k/h’s to be. Apart from the initial agreement of both parties, of how far each is prepared to go. Also the guy may want an orgasm and play and the k/h is aware of that too. So by strict it might mean the following: The k/h takes complete control over our locked cocks and sex lives, we have no say. The k/h takes control over us but also take in some of our considerations. The k/h takes a little control but are guided by the guy as to what they want & when. The k/h just plays along totally with what the guy wants and says. Hope that sort of makes sense, I’m just interested in how strict us guys really our k/h’s to be? Remember, it’s what we wish or fantasise about.
Simple answer: “The k/h takes complete control over our locked cocks and sex lives, we have no say.” More detailed answer: I want my Mistress to have absolute power and to dictate every aspect, BUT I also hope that she does it in a way that I like it somehow. Its basically a “gamble” since I can only hope for the best, since when I know there is some rules integrated to make it nice for me, than it is no longer sexy. Yes, twisted … I know… My first Mistress let me cum weekly, but only if I lost 1 kg of weight during that week. Once she had me starved to being a “tiny twig” her rule changed that I was checked every two weeks and was not allowed to gain weight. Also that meant then my best hope for an orgasm was no longer one week, but two. My second Mistress only kept me chaste in Spring and Summer time. Orgasms were totally her decision, I was not even allowed to beg or ask or even bring up the topic. This led to 4-6 weeks in between orgasms. Also the orgasms were reduced in quality a lot, since I only had 45 seconds to cum. This tjme incouded taking off the cage and reinstalling it. My third Mistress kept me chaste 24/7 and decided that I could only orgasm on my birthday and on Christmas. Two bonus orgasms could be earned, when I was 100% obedient to her and obeyed without any hesitation whatsoever at all times. I loved it each time and I am eternally grateful to all of them. Each one had her own things that gave her a “kick” and I am very very happy that they used me to get that kick. The first Mistress liked how my body had to change for her and in the end really enjoyed seeing me so thin, that it was obvious to the eye that I must be horribly hungry all the time. Which I was … The second Mistress loved to see me suffer during the hot month, when everyone around me becomes super sexually active and just I had to miss out. During Fall and Winter I masturbated like crazy, which she liked, since it just made the other two month that much more terrible. She was very much into bending and twisting my mind and her plan was to train me into a state where I would beg her to also lock me up during Winter and Fall. She loved it, when I begged for worsening my own situation. The third Mistress was very strict and truly wanted to push forward my transformation into being nothing but her slave. I loved it, since she could be very brutal and mean. The simple clean directive that she used was giving me an insanely clean and fresh peace of mind. Now I found my future wife and Mistress, technically she is my fourth Mistress. She has not found any special style to enfore and we still experiment. Which is ok, since this style will be the one for the rest of my life.
Husband thinks I'm too strict and put him in Chastity or Under Discipline too frequently. I think I don't do it enough. He wants me less strict. I want to be more strict.
Go with what you’re comfortable with. If you want to be strict do so, you can always back off if it’s too much for you. He can handle it.
It's all about you, not him. Good on you. From a chaste male, chastity often isn't what we thought it would be. As they say real chastity doesn't start until u want out. Well done U
And then she ends up going for weeks with zero interest in anything sexual... "honey i'm not in the mood today, also we need to do laundry and i'm worried because our child's teacher said this and that"
My wife is always doing all she can to please, care for and work toward making everyone in our family's life better. She has adopted my request for chastity as just one of those tasks and while she become more enthusiastic it isn't her thing. I'd love for her to be the dominatrix in a catsuit with a whip but that isn't her. That said, she has taken over the control that I have asked her to do and has owned it way beyond any other "kink" I've asked for in the past. Would I love to surrender to her in the bedroom? Absolutely.
I do wish for total control and my K/H are getting closer to that goal. I just got out of a 10 day lock up, she gave me 60 seconds to cum and then it was back into the cage for a minimum of 10 days. This demand totally surprised me because she typically just followed my suggestions. Seems the longer I'm locked the more she gets into it!
I want her to have final authority. But my locking feedback should be considered. But I DO want her to be more strict. It’s a fine line.
I think one important and fun thing in BDSM is to step by step stretch your goals and to further train and bend your slave. You want more, he wants less, thats a great starting point. My third Mistress also did not start her policy of “Only Christmas and Birthday for one orgasm” on the first day we met. She trained me into accepting it. Just to give you a few examples: At one point I had weekly releases by her, so I was chaste for a week and really needed to cum badly (or thats what I thought … later I realized that this feeling will basically be how I felt all the time in the future). But instead of a release she offered me a choice between: a) a ruined orgasm right now followed by two weeks of lockup instead of just one and b) waiting one more week and then receiving a real orgasm. Instead of simply saying “oh, your chaste period will be for two weeks from now on till the future”, she stretched my limits playful and deviously smart. In that example up there after two chaste weeks, she could go then like: You now have the choice to either: a) cum by your own hand while kneeling in the middle of the room alone or b) receive a masterfully excecuted hand job from me next week. Just for fun, lets continue that example, so by the end of next week he will have been chaste for three weeks and probably thinking about your hands all the time. So when it is time for the handjob, you go instead again with a choice: a) have the handjob right now and changing future minimum chaste period from one week to two weeks, or b) wait one more week and receive as many orgasms next week as he likes from fucking you and getting blown by you. He might go for a) … which means you win, he goes for b? No problem: you win too. Thats basically the main trick: Design all choices, so that you win regardless of his choice. So maybe he goes for b), then one week after its “party time “ again for you. In this example it is ofcourse important how you handle the topic of having sex in you relationship and if you like to even do that at all with your slave. If you like it, then you could tie him to the bed, tease him like crazy, tell him how proud you are on him for being so dedicated to you as his Mistress, so that he waited a whole month. Then ask him before letting him cum, if he also agrees that the future chastity period should be one month, since that would give him the chance for real sex and many orgasms with you. If he agrees, then the deal is settled. If not just stop stimulating him and say “I totally understand that you need more time to think, lets just try sex again next week and lock you up for now”. Or if you don’t like sex with your slave you could tell him after the four weeks that you are super disappointed with him that he seriously was thinking that he could fuck you. As a punishment he will receive a severe whipping now and stay locked up afterwards for one more month without any mercy or chance to beg for less. You see from my example(s) that there is many fun activities that are connected to stretching your slaves limits.
You are absolutely right! I experienced that effect myself, when I finally found a real life full partner (aka future wife) who is into BDSM. With my three Mistresses before there was never any touchpoints in the real life. When we met we were both in our roles and both had our mind set to a day of play and fun. Her face did not remind me about the latest discussion on how to best allign tax savings with personal insurance contracts in the most clever way. She was my Mistress and nothing else. Till today we have not found a clear way of keeping the annoying elements of life out of our sex life. So, yes, the dilemma you descibed so well is very real. I hope we find a way to escape the dilemma somehow and once we found something that works, I let you all know.
I want someone who will control everything in the bedroom. But we collaborate on all activities outside the bedroom.
I would love to have my sexuality totally controlled. Maybe even serve as her slave in a sexy way, like being in shackles to do house chores. But I do not like to be controlled in vanilla life. Unfortunately my wife seems to like it completely the opposed way, so we tend to fight from time to time
Perhaps, strict is not a good word - its subjective. My version of strict might be different to everyone else's. Do I wish her to follow without hesitation the guidelines we set, yes. Do I sometimes try and bend them, yes. A