Surprise for my wife - Thoughts?

One good sign is that she’s a bit worried you may cheat lol. Seriously though, my wife not so secretly enjoys the fact that my penis is out of commission when locked. For others and for me. It’s like a security blanket. So if that is something that is always on the back of her mind, this will certainly help make her feel safe and secure…knowing you are locked away.

That being said, this is still a piece of bondage equipment. Lots of ways it can be used, as well as a lot of thoughts running through her mind about how you plan on using it. So if you spring it on her, let her know how you plan on wearing it, what you would like her participation to be, and ask if any of this appeals to her.

good luck

 

Don’t just have it on and surprise her. Tell her why you want to do it and also assure her that you cannot cheat. You’ve always got to figure out “WIIFM”. What’s in it for me? Why should she embrace this new fetish and what benefits does she get. Make it about her. It may take a bit of time, just don’t push or you’ll definitely be faced with resistance.

 

Drop the keys in the mail to her, so they are post-marked. (Use two different envelopes for two keys, so they don't both get lost.)

 

First things first, is she aware of that fetish?

 

Shaun,

Folks have given you some good advice so far. I think you should proceed slowly and carefully think through the steps you need to take to help your wife to get onboard with this idea.

From your post, it sounds like you haven't purchased a chastity device yet, is that correct?

If so, you should know that most of us here who wear devices long-term needed to do some experimenting with devices, sizes, etc. before we were able to wear a device for long periods of time. In your post, you said she'll be gone for another 10 days. THAT, my friend is a LONG TIME if you're locked into a device you have no history with and especially if you start developing a discomfort issue.

It REALLY IS a delicate balance and a bit of a challenge to find a device which is comfortable enough to wear long term yet also reasonably "secure". Now, if you were just looking for a couple hours at a time, that's a different story. But it sounds like you've got this idea that she's going to lock you into this thing the first time and then disappear for a week to "keep you from cheating". I could be going out on a limb here, but I don't think that scenario is going to end the way you think it would.

Good Luck, I'm looking forward to hearing how you and your wife work through this.

~subrick

 

Start slowly and get her buy in, start by talking with her on the phone and telling her she should just cage you up the next time she goes away.

 

I mentioned chastity in 2020 to my wife @Mistress ComDom and she was also originally dismissive. I left it alone and several months later it was she who recommended buying the cage. Go at her pace!

Also, while chastity play is fun, there might be some insecurity in the relationship if there is a real expectation that one partner might cheat. If that’s a real concern then I’d fix that first!

 

Have you tried the surprise chastity approach?

When she next tries to play with you, show her. Maybe drop a towel or something. Say ‘surprise’ and see her reaction.

I’ve never seen it done but am curious as to how it would go down.

 

I agree with what the others said. Take it slow. Putting a key in a surprise package for her when she gets home is a great idea, but go for… one of these pieces of jewelry that hangs on a necklace! When she asks for the reason, you could reply that what she said about needing to make you cum so she knows you won't cheat made you think a lot. That you found it to make a lot of sense, highly motivating and… exciting, and you wanted to solidify this . You could add that while researching the key on the net you found about International Chastity Day, so it looks like you guys aren’t the only ones exploring this. What do you think?

 

I was talking about a symbolic key as well, not a real one! Precisely, as a sexy gateway into chastity. Also a pretty and sexy way to suggest she gave you the idea for the whole thing, rather than some kink you've secretly been harboring.

 

No.

Slow down stop and think about it.

Have a conversation with her about it FIRST, don't just spring it on her as a surprise.

Talk it through. Introduce the idea slowly in a proper conversation. Not in bed but at a table when you are face to face. Have Her study the idea of Chastity. Study with Her. Learn together, don't just surprise her with it because it could backfire.

Infact if, you read a lot about the experiences of the other members here when they tried to introduce their wife to it via the surprise method, nine times out of 10 it backfired........horribly.

I understand you're excited I understand this is turning you on but think, slow down and research how to bring it up to Her.

Iso.

 

Just waiting until she gets home and going "Surprise!!" is going to be iffy at best as to how she receives it. My wife is still very concerned about locking me up and concerned about safety, among other things. This really IS one of those things where it's better to include her in the conversation rather than presenting her with a fait accompli.

 

Why does she think you would cheat if she is away for a few days?

 

Chastity can be what you want, done how you want.

If you sell the idea to her based on the fact that there is zero chance of you cheating, that you can have as much sex as you both (she wants) want, and that you just want to be locked and denied when you aren't both having sex, then you might be on to a winner.

Steer clear of anything that might frighten her such as cuckholding, feminisation, pegging, being her slave, etc.

Stay focused on the things that will benefit her, forget about your needs or desires, and see where she takes it.

Your biggest issue will be that you will drive her crazy with being horny/needy and when you do have sex you will lack self control and only last 30 seconds lol, but you can overcome those things.