What started as a curiosity in March of 2014 has become a lifestyle. I asked for it not knowing what it would become. My wife/keyholder told that me she sees no drawbacks for her as the home is clean, nice dinners are ready when she comes home and I am "on demand" for whenever she has a whim or "need". At the start, she had me read the books from "Mistress Ivy" to her. She considered the advice and locked me up for 90 days to start. That was tough.. I am not on any particular schedule and she thinks that single digit releases per year are the way things are going to be for me. The "vacation" concept is where she is coming from and she says even at the executive level in the working world, 4 weeks vacation every year is the norm. with that, you know where I am coming from. I suffered some "gender related" abuse as a small boy and have had issues in harming myself - this is probably where my sub tendencies come from. While locked up, I cannot perform the self-abuse I used to do - so she now sees chastity as a "must" for me as it provides a way to protect me. This further works in never allowing me to be "unsupervised/unlocked". Now I truly am living the dream....I am locked in a Lori device with a PA and have no way to get out of it unless she unlocks me. I hope I can contribute some positives to anyone out there who has questions or just wants to talk via the messaging system.
Welcome. Sounds like a dream come true for alot of folks on here including myself. Don't be afraid to share more of your story.
Thank you for the kind replies. I never knew I had this "kink". I didn't know of this sub/chastity world either. I somehow knew I needed to find a way to stop seeking my own relief (it was happening every day) so I asked my wife to help me to control my orgasms. She had never heard of such a thing as a chastity device but as we have been married for almost 27 years, and she is the best life partner a guy could ever be married to, she accepted the task of being my keyholder. She likes that fact that I no longer need to hurt myself via self-abuse when I am locked up so it makes a lot of sense to her in a preventative/medicinal kind of way. I think she also likes the kind of intensity she sees from me when she finally gives me a release. She does not like the let-down/vacation after release as she likes the service she receives when horny. I will say that I actually enjoy the time and frustration when extended beyond a month as it seems like I am horny all of the time and when an orgasm happens, it is almost always a let-down. I then take a "motivation" vacation for a few days. Miss Lori told me that that is why many subs ask for permanent locking like her Pauly. Chaste males in long term denial actually enjoy the energy and "Half-way to orgasm feeling" of perpetual horniness. There are two screws that hold my Lori device on. I use a releasable Locktite (Blue) product and I actually purchased the (red) permanent locking fluid and have told my wife that my ultimate kink is to have her lock me with that (red) locktite solution and then fill the holes with JB-Weld. If ever done that way someday, I would then be in a perpetual state of horniness. She, with her infinite common sense and wisdom is taking her time on that one but she is not ruling it out... The Lori is so comfortable that being permanently locked would not present any health issues. My doctors might have a lot of questions though - but it is my business, my body and my life...
I dont really see chastity as a kink. More like a tool. And its only seen as kinda weird because its not quite mainstream, but I think it eventually will get there. I, like yourself, was a daily masturbator and watching all of my friends getting divorced and myself heading in the direction eventually if things didnt change decided I needed something to change things. Chastity was the tool, lol. Only been married ten years and this last month is the first real chastity lock up for me. Its been 34 days now and she has had the keys for a week or so. I had to try out a new device to make sure it was comfortable before handing over the keys. I havent quite got to the half way to orgasm feeling yet, mostly just frustrated and really horny. How was chastity in the beginning for you guys? Did your wife take to it like a fish to water or were there some difficulties? Just curious. My wife likes the idea of chastity and has the keys but other then that she doesnt seem to want to participate much and always wanting to let me out too early. Anyways, nice to meet you.
Yes, I was wrong to state that it was a kink. Chastity in my life is a simple tool used to keep me from doing things that I consider to be detrimental to our marriage/relationship. I asked for it and I got it. Masturbation takes me away from the closeness I desire to have with my wife/keyholder. She, by virtue of controlling the "when, how and reasons" for my next orgasm is as it should be, the most important person in my life and I am devoted to making her happy. This control is not forced upon me, as again, it was and continues to be my choice to participate. My keyholder was reluctant until she began to see how chastity and orgasm denial makes me a better spouse and a better man. She is also seeing how much easier her life can be with having and using her control over me with her key. We are both on a journey and we will be continuing to learn as we go. I believe that she, by making me read the Mistress Ivy books to her, is showing another form of her control as it is expressed in what I read to her about. I have no illusions and no surprises as I read what she might be learning from Mistress Ivy. I think that is why my wife makes me read these ideas and thoughts to her. I am very fortunate to have a spouse who is open to the thoughts and ideas we are now experiencing.
Altee - welcome to the mansion. I too am guilty of calling chastity a kink, but I don't think of it as that the more involved i have become with chastity. It is a beneficial tool to each party involved, but there are avenues for abuse. It all comes back to communication. It can be a game, a lifestyle, or a kinky sexual fantasy. It is all up to the individuals involved to make that decision. Best regards on your journey.
"It all comes back to communication. It can be a game, a lifestyle, or a kinky sexual fantasy. It is all up to the individuals involved to make that decision. Best regards on your journey." xcitedsisssy, Thanks for the response and encouragement. I am thankful for all of the responders encouragement and kind words. I wish all of my new friends a safe and enjoyable journey too.... Altee
"She, by virtue of controlling the "when, how and reasons" for my next orgasm is as it should be, the most important person in my life and I am devoted to making her happy." Wise words there Dont you get nervous reading Mistress Ivy's books to your wife? Ivy seems pretty level headed but she also loves humiliation which I just dont get into. There are a few other things she talks about that would make ME nervous lol
I do get nervous when reading about the humiliation parts of Miss Ivy's books as I am not into the humiliation aspect of some chastity theory methods. I read all parts of the books including other authors to her as since I have read a lot of the information, I feel she deserves to hear all sides. My wife/keyholder has told me that she is not into the disrespecting side of this. She likes the power and the positive things chastity and orgasm denial brings to our relationship. She knows this is "My Dream" and asks a lot of questions. As we progress, I find that she has understood my thoughts as she surprise me whit how she is handling me. I am living my dream and am getting more (actually less) than I originally thought I would. I She has told me to wear a butt plug at times and I wear pretty lace panties that are special made with a pouch to hold my tube and that is as far as it has gotten. She likes denying my orgasms as she seems to enjoy taking me into the single digit orgasms a year range. She understands that while I am being teased, as I am begging for an orgasm, that I don't like the letdown after allowed an orgasm. She knows I really want her to deny me. I think she feels that for her part, it is her job as the keyholder to limit my "Vacations". The books are there for her to read or for reference, she admits that she likes things the way they have evolved to so far.