I got put in irons about 3 month ago, mainly because of my sexual history, witch divers in our moralic standarts concerning this topics. I have changed quite a lot the last 2 years, by adappting to her standarts, but still she cant trust me, what I can understand, because of some of my acting. we living a longdistance relationship, we see us every 10 days. being in chastity by my self, I often have the desire to write about it, by expressing my feelings, but I hardly get a answer by email and I get the impression she just keeps me in the irons, like a normal thing to her, and I have to deal with it my self. she wrote me last week on the chat," you can always leave me, then you are free of the cage". I realized i will be caged as long we are a couple. my question to the community, how much expectations can I have when it comes to the communication about the subject of chastity toward my kh? must I just shut up and deal on my own, or can I also have some ideas of how I like to live this play? is it arrogant of me to have expectation? its a big difference to live a longdistance relation, vs a close everyday marriage.
You are showing your devotion to her in a very powerful way. It is very tough and mentally the best thing to do is just treat your lockup as the norm and learn to live with it. She will love you for it. My wife does not want to be bothered with keys and minor gripes about the cage. She does not really talk about chastity, just likes me locked and enjoys the result. I'm sure it is tough being long-distance, but eg when we were apart for several weeks recently we both just got on with things and when reunited had a very special intimate time. Expressing general positive vibes towards her via email and texts etc is the way to go without boring her with cage-related moans and groans imho. Good luck.
If the only trust she has for you is dependent on a cage, I'm afraid she doesn't trust you at all. Relationships without trust do not fare that well. Thats not to say she can't ask you to humor her, that she does trust you, but she has a hangup and the reassurance really makes her feel safe. I would be lying if i said that it being impossible to cheat on her wasn't something that appealed to her. It's not the reason i wear it, but it was an added perk that she certainly appreciates. Expectations and needs are part of any relationship. It sounds like she threw down the gauntlet and told you what she expects...it isn't unreasonable to do the same. Although with any ultimatium, you may not like the response. Compromise is what adults do when conflicting ideas need to be resolved. She told you her needs, now tell her yours. Somewhere in the middle is where you both can be happy, and if not, one or both probably need to walk away and find the partner that fulfills your needs and you hers. Good luck
im very happy to read your replies, for me at the moment, all of the 24/7 chastity is still new experience. i consider my self not as a notric cheater, even if i did in this day back cheat behind my wife, but in the meantime im divorced and i make efforts to proof i want to be with my girl, (i met her this days back i still was married) i change, i work on me, i used to be the a dom, and i decided to switch submission. probably back this days i was super unsubmissive person. wearing this irons, is for me one way to express my self to be a trustful partner. i know, a cage its not a basis for a relationship, we have it, but i must show her that its worth to be with me. im very sexual person, and its very difficult to step for me in my orgasm. (i used to masturbate my whole life every day) even this orgasm denial, in our case its not the main drive with us. even thought i was asking by text message for the combination of the box, telling her, after cuming i would lock my self back with our programmed standby number lock. but she did not let me out the cage for my masturbation pleasure. she just answered i can't let you out today. things like this its such a good teasing, and i was so proud to go sleeping as horny i was. our case at this moment is to be locked away when im on my own. but she mentioned it clear, she will keep me in this irons as long we are together. its so much new for me in this chastity, i hate it some days, others i just don't mind, and i feel proud to wear it for her. i will like @harddenial mentioned just make the irons as normal as underwear. i also did not wrote a word this week about this irons, and my feelings to it. i try to let it just be, no talks no expectations (oh i feel such poor boy somedays) but this week i feel not depression be caused by the irons, as i had it other weeks. i slowly start to accept my permanent chastity, (even if i read here, im far away of permanent, som of you are locked away for month..i can't imagine to be so strong, and not break..