Paying a key holder

What is it she doesn't like about it? It being a really broad term. Chastity is more about the emotional than the kink. It took me less than a month to realise it wasn't a kink at all. Not in itself. Though kink can branch off it, it isn't needed to live a chaste lifestyle. If Your relationship is monogamous, do you really want to bring in another person into the dynamic. My thoughts from my point of view. Maybe she doesn't understand what's in it for her? It is all about her after all. Explore it further with your S/O perhaps before anything else. When she sees the loving, doting husband she'll come round. You don't have to be a complete sub, just one side of the coin. As is dominance one side of the coin for most.

What are your motivations for doing it? beyond it being hot, which after a while comes and goes, with life and longer lock-up

 

I'm leery of paying a KH. I understand earning fees for their work, but it just seems to make it less personal. I don't know about safety, blackmail, etc, but i'd rather have some sort of trade off using Emlalock or Chaster than do a strictly money transaction, but JMO.

 

I have paid for keyholding services - it's worked for me. There is though, in my view, a big difference between a keyholder who is a professional dominatrix who provide kinky services as their main job, and lots of non-professionals who have just jumped on the bandwagon to make some quick money (possibly this is worse now because of Covid). A true Pro will not blackmail you - you could take police or legal action which could shut down their entire business, it's actually not worth the risk to them as much as to you.

Even if you just want online keyholding, there are some good signs to look for and some warning signs:

Good signs
- They offer 'in person' sessions from their own premises, as few fakers / rip-off merchants are going to be able to sustain a proper business. Even if you never plan to meet a pro KH this shows they have a serious business.
- Their website, instagram, twitter accounts mention chastity a lot - and there are testimonials and postings from subs in chastity (and even better if those subs are on twitter too)
- There are videos and photos online of their locked subs
- They have a very clear fee structure which explains exactly what you get for the money - e.g. the level of tease and denial communication if you're looking for that
- If their twitter includes lots of retweets from other professionals that can be a good sign
- My KH does instructional Youtube videos with advice about chastity, and some others do as well. When they have gone to the trouble to really understand why men like chastity and the role of a KH, for me that shows they are more authentic.

Warning signs
- There is no clear fee structure
- There are no reports/reviews of the KH service from any clients / subs
- They use terms like 'paypigs' or cashmeets. If their website or twitter is all about you buying them clothes and food for keyholding, I would steer well clear.
- They call their locked subs (assuming they have any) as losers. Personally I think that shows a massive lack of care and respect, and a misunderstanding of the motivations of chastity
- They demand you send photos of you showing your face - why would they do this? There's no need unless you want to.

It's very difficult to say what is a reasonable cost. I suggest you visit a number of different websites and you'll get a feel for what the usual fees are for your country. I once paid a UK keyholder £100 over a month but we had a daily emails, some fun tasks, edging videos etc. I never showed my face or revealed my real name throughout.

This link may also be helpful.
Chastity Keyholding Services | House of Denial

 

Well that depends on what kind of experience you are looking for and how much you are willing to spend.
Do you enjoy chastity as a gateway to other kinks? Or is it all about the pleasure of denial?

If you just like chastity for its on sake, keep it simple. Get the chastikey app and let the AI keyholder. Play with you for a bit. The latest updates have gotten so good you may never want to move on. Once you are comfortable, join the discord. There will be plenty of people there who are quite enthusiastic about getting their hands on more keys. And Kevin keeps good moderators to ensure everything is on the up and up

If you are looking for something more diverse, and personal, hire someone through a clip site. But this can get expensive. I recommend ManyVids, because they organize the site in a way that makes it easy to separate services from videos talking about a fantasy. The site keeps the models in line, so it is all safe. If the models cross the line the site can loose credit card processing. I can personally vouch for MissVendelayxo. She offers a good variety of contract lengths, and will customize your experience. And she has experience dealing with men in relationships that don't want to be unfaithful.

 

I've certainly used a paid keyholder in the past (https://lenaloveslatex.com) and found it a totally satisfactory experience. Selecting the right keyholder is the trick because there's a fine line between tease, denial and cruelty. There's some degree of finesse and professionalism required on the part of the keyholder.

I've heard of a lot of horror stories from subs who haven't selected the right keyholder. Take it slowly, never divulge information you wouldn't want to be made public and be concerned about a keyholder that insists upon such information.

 

I just learned that Mr S Leather has a key holder service available. With excellent reviews. Its pricy at $175. But one thing you can count on is their reliability.
Website https://www.mr-s-leather.com/chastity-key-service

 

Try the honor system if it is the caging she does not like …. My wife not into the lock up but denies me just the same.

 

a very informative post.